The average age children move out of their parents’ home is steadily growing. Factors like high housing costs, student debts, and a competitive job market, among other things, are making young adults live with their parents longer. While this can help them save money and get back on their feet relatively fast, such a dynamic can present various challenges.
That said, this woman seemed not to mind living with her parents for longer. During it, she was able to work, save money, and even update the house a bit. But the moment she turned 25, her parents demanded that she move out, hoping she would leave the items she had upgraded behind. Unfortunately, this didn’t happen, which left them furious.
Young adults are living longer with their parents
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
As did this one, until her parents decided to kick her out and take advantage of the improvements she made to their house
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Yan Krukau / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: TAMovingout
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
1.5 million adults under 35 are living with their parents
Many plan on landing a dream job and moving to the big city after graduation, as that’s what the definition of success seems to be nowadays. But around 1.5 million adults under 35 aren’t able to do that and are instead living with their parents.
It’s absolutely not something to be embarrassed about, since those who stay or move back in with their parents do so not because they want to, but because they have to and need the extra support.
“The main reasons for moving back home I, and our members, come across in private practice are financial pressures and relationship breakdowns,” psychologist Dr. Zena Burgess says. “Young adults are suffering through the cost-of-living crisis, unable to afford housing or even a room at a shared house.”
Living with parents can be incredibly helpful for those who need support and time to save money. However, whatever the reason, adult children living with parents can be a dynamic that poses challenges for everyone involved. As a result, these hurdles often lead to poorer mental health for young adults. What can help to make the situation better is making an exit plan and maintaining boundaries.
Having a plan can motivate you to reach your goals and move out faster (if that is your goal). Besides, parents are probably also curious about the duration of your stay. Meanwhile, boundaries can help to maintain some sense of privacy, both for parents and their adult children.
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
“Supporting the transition, even if it takes ‘longer,’ especially in the crazy world we live in today, can be a normal”
At some point, most children (depending on the circumstances) will need to leave their parents’ nest by their own choice or with a little encouragement. In both scenarios, both parties have to prepare for it to make it as smooth and conflict-free as possible.
Besides the financial planning mentioned above, children and their parents need to set a time frame as well as expectations around the move. This can prevent procrastination and allow for imposing some consequences if the child doesn’t succeed in moving out. Not like forcing them out of the house, but like increasing their share of responsibility or bills.
Even if it takes longer for kids to move out, parents should support them either way and refrain from piling guilt and shame on them. “Supporting the transition, even if it takes ‘longer,’ especially in the crazy world we live in today, can be a normal process for many,” Tara Unverzagt, a certified financial therapist, noted.
That said, parents shouldn’t make it too easy for their kids to live in their home, according to certified financial planner Jim Kinney.
“Avoid the temptation to help with financial strains” he said. “What adults do when they face financial shortfalls is they take a second job, start a side gig, learn a new skill, etc. If you help them by picking up their auto insurance, or car payment, you take away the only motivation they have to improve their own earning potential and skills.”
The woman shared some additional information in the comments
Most commenters agree there’s nothing wrong with taking things that she paid for
While some thought it was a jerk move
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