There are few social laws as sacred as not wearing white to someone else’s wedding. It’s right up there with not proposing during someone else’s reception. Yet somehow, every wedding season, one brave soul decides to test the limits of this wedding etiquette.
Today’s Original Poster (OP) found herself competing with her cousin, who showed up in a long white gown and spent the entire evening stealing the show and the dancefloor to the point that everyone thought the OP was her cousin. Naturally, this left her deeply upset, but what was more upsetting was finding out who approved her cousin’s outfit.
More info: Reddit
Weddings are one of those rare occasions where tradition still holds a lot of weight, especially when it comes to fashion
Image credits: freepic.diller / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author’s cousin wore a long white dress to her outdoor wedding, spending the night in the middle of the dance floor
Image credits: Gingysnaps1997
Image credits: Gingysnaps1997
Guests, including the groom, mistakenly thought the cousin was the bride, causing confusion and frustration
Image credits: Gingysnaps1997
Image credits: Bryan Jesus De Los Santos Breton / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author confronted her mom, who said the dress was “off-white” and defended approving it since the cousin had already bought it
Image credits: Gingysnaps1997
She felt disrespected, upset that her cousin didn’t run the dress by her, and considered confronting her while dealing with photos, where the cousin dominated the shots
The OP’s wedding was an outdoor one with lots of greenery and wildflowers, so it was a great setting for romantic vows. However, she sighted her cousin dressed in a gown so bridal that guests thought she was the bride instead, and that the OP had changed her dress. In fact, her husband thought so too.
When she pointed it out to her mother, hoping for backup, her mother insisted the dress wasn’t white, but off-white. She further stated that the color was popular these days, and that she’d approved the dress because it had already been bought.
The final blow for the OP came when the photographers showed her the pictures, only for her cousin to dominate the frame. This left her gobsmacked, but her mother brushed it off and insisted that nobody cared about wearing white to weddings anymore. This left her deeply upset and wanting to confront her cousin about it.
Cosmopolitan affirms that modern weddings are far less bound by traditional fashion rules, giving couples and guests more freedom to express themselves. However, even with this freedom, it’s still important to dress respectfully for the ceremony and honor the couple’s wishes, ensuring your outfit doesn’t overshadow the wedding.
Image credits: Gingysnaps1997
According to The Knot, guests should generally avoid wearing white, ivory, cream, or off-white to a wedding, as these shades can be easily mistaken for bridal attire. Even dresses with white backgrounds, such as floral patterns, are discouraged unless the colorful elements dominate the design.
For this reason, wedding etiquette expert Martha Stewart recommends clearly addressing the no-white rule in the invitation or on the wedding website. She suggests that guests can be politely asked to avoid white or ivory to ensure they don’t overshadow or compete with the bride’s attire.
However, it’s not impossible that guests might still show up in white. To this, she highlights that if guests still wear white despite the request, it ultimately depends on the bride to handle the situation however she deems fit. Although she recommended ignoring it to prevent letting it ruin the day, and focusing on enjoying your celebration.
Netizens strongly sided with the OP, emphasizing that her feelings are valid and that her cousin should have known better and run the dress by the OP first. Many criticized the mom for dismissing the issue, but also suggested practical solutions, such as retouching the cousin’s dress in photos or even removing her from pictures entirely.
What do you think about this situation? Do you think wearing off-white is ever acceptable for a guest, or is it always a no-go? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens rallied around the author and affirmed that she had every right to be upset, while criticizing her mother for enabling the cousin
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