Good friendships that are based on love, care, and reciprocation can stand the test of time, but even such great relationships can have problems if money is brought into the picture. This only happens if people start lending or borrowing without setting boundaries.
This is what a woman faced because her childhood friend kept asking her for money whenever she had the chance. Eventually, the woman couldn’t keep dipping into her funds and asked her friend to stop, which immediately created a big rift between them.
More info: Reddit
Friends should always try to support one another, but they aren’t obligated to do so if they feel the other person might be taking advantage of them
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The poster shared that she had known her childhood friend, Miley, for years and that they had both come from poor families
Image credits: SkelDry / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Over the years, the poster got her life and finances in order, and Miley only seemed to reach out to her when she needed small amounts of money
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster eventually got tired of always giving her money away, so she told Miley to stop talking to her if she was just going to treat her like a bank
Image credits: Kateryna Hliznitsova / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The reason the woman set such a boundary with Miley was that she was trying to build up her savings again and couldn’t afford to keep giving money away
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Miley didn’t like that her childhood friend was standing up to her and accused her of not caring about her well-being
The poster had been close friends with Miley and even stayed at her house for months when she was kicked out by her own family. That’s why, even though they fell out of touch with each other for a while, they were able to reconnect smoothly and catch up on each other’s lives. The problems only began when Miley began asking the OP for small sums of money.
It’s difficult to turn down a friend who wants financial help, especially if they have a good reason for borrowing the money. When this happens too often, it’s important to figure out exactly how much you are willing to lend, and at what point you don’t want to continue anymore. This will help salvage the friendship in the long run.
The poster realized that she didn’t have the capacity to keep giving Miley money, so she decided to set boundaries as soon as possible. She was honest with the other woman and explained that she had her own financial goals to meet, and hence wouldn’t be able to give her any more help. She also explained that all the lending made her feel taken advantage of.
When it comes to lending or borrowing money among family and friends, there are usually a lot of emotions involved. The lenders might feel resentful if they are always having to give their hard-earned cash, and the borrowers may feel hurt if their loved ones aren’t helping them out. That’s why it’s important to have a contract in place if one decides to lend large sums to close friends or relatives.
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The poster did feel a bit guilty about turning Miley down and confronting her about her borrowing habits. Unfortunately, the other woman wasn’t willing to own up to her behavior and felt that the OP didn’t care about her at all. That’s exactly why people worry about setting financial boundaries with loved ones.
According to experts, it’s important to let people know early on whether you are comfortable lending money and how much you are willing to give them. Putting your financial stability first is not something to feel guilty about, and it will actually put you in a better position in the future to help others out if you choose to do so.
It might seem heartless to say no to a friend or relative who is in need, but surveys have found that close to half of Americans who lend money find themselves negatively impacted by it. It might be because they’ve never received the money back, had their credit score impacted, or gotten into a conflict with the borrower.
That’s why it’s good that the OP decided to set her financial boundaries as soon as she could. Even though it must have been uncomfortable to send the message, it will make a difference in their friendship. This puts the ball in Miley’s court, and she has to decide if she wants to make an effort to keep her friend or end things because she can no longer keep borrowing money.
Do you think the woman made the right decision by saying no to lending money to her friend? Let us know your thoughts and if you’ve ever been in a situation like this.
People were glad that the poster stood her ground and felt that Miley was just treating their relationship as something transactional
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