Let’s be real: every kid deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a kid. Some folks just have no idea what they’re getting into when they get pregnant, especially if they’re still teenagers who’ve still got a lot of growing up to do.
One woman turned to an online community to vent after her sister got pregnant at 15 and now expects her to take on all the childcare. After 6 months of looking after the baby alone, she snapped and took matters into her own hands. Now she’s wondering if she went too far.
More info: Reddit
It’s been said that every kid deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a kid, and it’s a sad reality in many cases
Image credits: pvproductions / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After one 18-year-old woman’s sister got pregnant at 15, she found herself forced into doing all the childcare, from babysitting to paying for all the kid’s essentials
Image credits: pressahotkey / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her sister refused to get a job and her mom told her that it was her responsibility to care for the kid and contribute to the household because she was an “adult”
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Despite working overnight shifts, the woman took care of the kid for 6 months while her sister went out with her baby daddy, spending all the money he gave her on herself
Image credits: diva_on_the_left
Finally, the woman snapped and called child protective services on her negligent sister, but now she’s turned to netizens to ask if doing that was a jerk move
At just 18, the original poster (OP) is juggling a full-time CNA job, overnight shifts, and, thanks to her family, near-full-time motherhood for a baby that isn’t even hers. After her 16-year-old sister had a child she refuses to care for, the household decided OP should pick up every bottle, diaper, and sleepless night without question.
Despite having no job, her sister spends her days going out with her boyfriend, getting her nails and hair done, and ignoring every responsibility. Meanwhile, OP buys all the baby stuff and handles night care after her shifts. Any attempt to set boundaries is met with guilt trips, excuses, and her mother insisting everything is her “duty.”
After her sister vanished for two full days and her mother refused to say where she’d gone, OP hit her breaking point. After months of doing the parenting alone, she finally called CPS, explaining the ongoing neglect. When CPS workers arrived, she told the truth, and the result was swift: her baby niece was removed from the home.
The kid was placed safely with the father’s mother, but the fallout at home was immediate. Her own mother blamed her and gave her 30 days to move out, despite relying on her nonstop. Now staying with an aunt, OP’s left wondering if reporting the neglect makes her the villain, or simply the only person willing to protect her niece.
Image credits: kseniajoyg / Freepik (not the actual photo)
To be honest, OP’s mom and sister sound like an entitled nightmare pair. Dumping everything on her is a total cop-out, and we’re not surprised she finally put her foot down. But what’s the deal with being forced into childcare when you’re barely an adult yourself? We went digging for answers.
The experts over at VeryWellMind have just the right word for what OP was being forced to go through: parentification. It’s basically when someone who isn’t an adult yet is compelled into taking on the parental role. There are two types of parentification: emotional, and instrumental. Let’s take a closer look at both.
Emotional parentification is when a kid provides the parent with emotional support, like giving advice, keeping secrets, and comforting siblings during arguments. Instrumental parentification, on the other hand, is when kids are forced to take on adult responsibilities; things like cooking every meal or providing 24/7 childcare, kinda like what OP has been doing non-stop.
The pros at Psychology Today explain that parentification can impact a child’s emotional and psychological well-being. Research suggests that it may lead to anxiety and depressive symptoms, as well as higher levels of emotional distress, difficulty setting boundaries, and a higher chance of risky behaviors down the line.
While OP isn’t a child anymore, being bullied into the role of her sister’s baby’s parent couldn’t have been easy. Who can blame her for throwing in the towel and getting the authorities involved? At least her niece is in a safe place now.
What’s your take? Did she do the right thing by calling CPS, or should she have just kept blindly following orders? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers swiftly agreed that the original poster was certainly not the jerk in the whole mess and suggested she cut ties with her mom and sister fast
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