The beginning of most marriages is like a fairy tale. But unfortunately, for many couples, that magic doesn’t last forever. While there are very few betrayals worse than being cheated on by your spouse, finding out that the affair has resulted in a baby is like throwing salt in the wound.
When one man realized that his wife was pregnant with another man’s child, he immediately refused to have any part in parenting the baby. But his wife is still pressuring him to get involved. Below, you’ll find the full story that the man shared on Reddit in search of advice, as well as some of the replies concerned readers left him.
This man’s life was flipped upside down when he found out that his wife was pregnant with another man’s child
Drazen Zigic / Magnific (not the actual photo)
And now, she’s pressuring him to be involved in the baby’s life
TriangleProd / Magnific (not the actual photo)
EmilyStock / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Over one-third of married men and 19% of married women admit that they’ve cheated
No one ever wants to imagine their spouse cheating. It’s most married people’s worst nightmare. But according to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, over 36% of men and 19% of women admit that they’ve cheated on their spouse at some point.
When it comes to who married adults are most likely to cheat with, coworkers are involved in half of all affairs. After that, close friends of both spouses seem to be the second most popular choice.
As far as why people cheat on their spouse, research has shown that low relationship satisfaction is the number one reason. But Dr. Kathy Nickerson says that’s only one piece of the puzzle.
When surveying cheating partners, she found that mood, mental health, and relationship problems were significant factors. Attachment and conflict avoidance can also play a role in cheating, as well as emotional disconnection.
Meanwhile, people are at a higher risk of cheating when they’re in the “Affair Bermuda Triangle,” meaning that they simultaneously are not doing well, their relationship is strained, and a trauma or trigger occurs that causes them to look for an affair.
Apparently, between 20% and 40% of divorces are linked to infidelity. But the situation can be much more complicated when there’s a baby on the way. While it’s difficult to know the exact numbers, it’s estimated that 2% to 3% of children are conceived through infidelity.
It’s also possible that sometimes, a man doesn’t even know that his wife’s child is not biologically his. But because the author of the story does know that for a fact, he will not be obligated to take care of the baby.
Drazen Zigic / Magnific (not the actual photo)
A husband is not obligated to take care of a child who is not biologically his
Now, in most states and in many countries, it is assumed that the father of a baby is the mother’s spouse if she is pregnant. So his name may be placed on the birth certificate even if he’s not present. But Wirth Law Office explains that this can be fixed if he’s not actually the biological father of the child.
They recommend first getting an attorney involved as soon as possible, as you’ll want to resolve the issue promptly. In Oklahoma, for example, fathers have 60 days to file to withdraw the acknowledgment of paternity if they signed one.
If that doesn’t happen, Wirth Law Office notes that men then have 2 years to request that the acknowledgment of paternity be set aside on the basis of duress or material mistake.
Of course, you’re probably going to need to have a paternity test done to prove that you’re not the father of the child. But that shouldn’t be an issue if the mother is pressuring you to be in the child’s life already.
Divorce is always going to be messy, but it’s important to approach things delicately when there are children involved. No matter how much your ex hurt you, you probably won’t want to traumatize your children or their children because of it.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. How would you have handled this drama if you were in the author’s shoes? Feel free to weigh in, and then you can find another article discussing similar relationship drama right here.
Later, the author responded to several readers and shared more details about the situation
Some readers questioned how the author knew that he wasn’t the father and criticized how he was handling the situation
Meanwhile, others simply shared advice
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