Let’s be real: being around a couple who are at war with each other is just plain awkward. It puts you in the tricky position of either choosing sides, trying to play peacemaker, or leaving, none of which is ideal, to be honest.
One woman, visiting an old friend in another country, was stunned after the friend and her wife ended up arguing into the early hours, tears and all. Then things got even weirder. Feeling trapped by all the drama, she turned to an online community for advice.
More info: Mumsnet
Being around a couple who are clashing is less than ideal, especially when there’s booze involved
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One UK woman, visiting an old friend and her wife in rural Scandinavia, was having a fine time until one night, when things took a drunkenly dramatic turn
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The friend and her wife ended up having a massive argument, complete with yelling and tears, putting the woman in an awkward situation
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Then things got really weird, because the friend’s wife showed up at her bedside and promptly serenaded her with lyrics seemingly made up on the spot
Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Feeling trapped, the woman reached out to an online community for advice, wondering if she should just get a room at a hotel near the airport
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In an update to her original post, the woman told her readers that the next day, the friend’s wife hid in her room while the two of them caught up on a stroll
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman said that she had to catch a train the next morning but was keeping her transport and hotel options open, just in case
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In an update the next morning, the woman said she was leaving and that the evening had gone well, with her friend’s partner only emerging to watch a TV show with them
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
She then went on to say that she really wished she had recorded the song amidst all the drama and the smoke-filled house, because it was a strange form of trauma
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
She admitted that she does have a bit of a bad feeling about her friend’s partner, since she seems to be very dominant and doesn’t do much adulting
Image credits: Fiflaboeuf
The woman ended her somewhat surreal tale by concluding that she’s worried about her friend, but will be making an effort to stay in touch more regularly
What was meant to be a warm reunion between old friends in the Scandinavian countryside quickly turned into something out of a surreal stage play. The original poster (OP), visiting from the UK, hadn’t seen her friend in 13 years. The setting was peaceful, remote, and picturesque, that is, until schnapps, secrets, and simmering relationship drama took over the weekend.
Things went off the rails when late-night debates about gender spiraled into personal attacks. The friend’s partner, drunk and emotional, accused her of having an affair while she was hospitalized. What started as an awkward dinner became hours of shouting, crying, and cigarettes. Somehow, by the end of the night, everyone hugged it out… or so it seemed.
Just when OP thought peace had been restored, her friend’s partner appeared next to her bed singing an improvised song directly into her face. “British girl so nice to have you here,” she crooned, complete with guitar accompaniment. It was equal parts creepy and hilarious, but OP, exhausted by now, began plotting an early escape to the nearest train station.
By morning, though, apologies were flying and tears had dried. The friend admitted her relationship was rocky and begged OP not to leave. They salvaged some calm by walking and talking, which was what OP had been hoping for anyway. Meanwhile, the partner hid upstairs, texting dramatic apologies like “Sorry I ruined everything.”
Now, with one more night to survive before catching the morning train, OP felt drained but safe. Her Scandinavian getaway had turned into a bizarre emotional boot camp featuring drunken confessions, midnight serenades, and existential exhaustion, but at least she had Uber on speed dial and a community of readers backing her up.
In updates to her original post, OP said the previous evening had been uneventful, with the partner mostly lurking upstairs, emerging only to watch a TV show. OP admits to thinking her friend lived a more idyllic life than she does, and that she has a bad feeling about the partner, so she’s going to try and stay in touch with her more often in future.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
However briefly, OP was the third wheel in a meltdown that had nothing to do with her. And what started the trouble? Alcohol, plain and simple. Just what is it that makes people lose their minds when they’ve been drinking, though? And how can OP help her friend when it comes to her toxic relationship? We went digging for answers.
Writing for Healthline, Hope Gillette explains that one of the areas of the brain alcohol affects is the frontal lobe, responsible for a variety of functions, such as emotional regulation, decision making, impulse control, behavior regulation, and planning. When alcohol suppresses these regulatory functions, it can affect how you express your thoughts and emotions, including anger.
According to a 2017 review, alcohol is more likely to cause personality shifts related to negative emotions. Extreme emotions that are usually hidden from others, like anger and sadness, may be more noticeable when you drink because you’re less able to conceal and manage them. And that’s why things go sideways.
When it comes to OP helping her friend with her rocky relationship, Lauren Del Turco over at WonderMind writes that if your friend’s dysfunctional, drama-laden, or otherwise questionable relationship has you feeling some kind of way, there are a few very important factors to consider before deciding how to address it (or not).
First, make sure this isn’t just a problem for you. What might not sit right with you could be working perfectly fine for your friend, so tread carefully. Next, consider the big picture. Speaking up to your friend about their SO might create some weird vibes, so be prepared for pushback and emphasize you’re only coming from a place of care.
You’re obviously not going to do this over DMs, so get the setting right – it should go down in person, one-on-one in a relaxed environment, like on a walk outside. Think beach or park, not busy streets. Finally, get consent before diving right in, have zero expectations, keep your cool (as tough as it may be), and set healthy boundaries.
What do you think? Should OP get involved, or is this her friend’s problem to deal with? Share your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers collectively shook their heads at the whole awkward mess the original poster had found herself in and agreed they would have bailed fast
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