If you have a life-threatening condition, the last thing you expect is to battle your own family to stay safe. But that’s what happened to Reddit user u/SmartSinner.
Her mother-in-law repeatedly ignored her severe peanut allergy and brought peanuts into her home. This time, while her husband had been away and the lady did it again, the Redditor decided enough was enough and called the police.
As you might suspect, the fallout was dramatic, and when her spouse found out about it, he was shocked.
Mothers- and daughters-in-law can have it pretty good if they try
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But the two might also become enemies if there’s a lack of respect between them
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SmartSinner
Anyone can develop a food allergy, even without a family history
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You can’t really blame the woman for her condition. Anyone can develop a food allergy, even those whose parents don’t have one.
In fact, a study of 1,252 mothers and 1,225 fathers of food-allergic children revealed about 13.7% of all parents reported having a food allergy themselves. And in reality, even that number is likely too high. Another paper revealed that only 28% of those parents who self‐reported a food allergy tested positive when objectively evaluated (skin prick or blood test). So actual confirmed food allergy in parents was much lower.
Either way, there are plenty of people like our Redditor. According to Food Allergy Research & Education (FARE), roughly one in ten (33 million) Americans have food allergies. Of those, more than half (51%) claim they’ve experienced a severe reaction at some point in their lives.
When it comes to peanut allergies in particular, a 2021 study found that 2.9% of U.S. adults self-reported having one.
Between 2007 and 2016, insurance claim lines involving diagnoses of anaphylactic food reactions increased by 377%.
Peanut allergy is the most common cause of anaphylaxis due to food, and this medical emergency requires treatment with an epinephrine autoinjector (EpiPen, Auvi-Q, others) and a trip to the emergency room.
Peanut allergy occurs when the immune system flags peanut proteins as harmful and releases symptom-causing chemicals into the bloodstream. These chemicals cause an allergic reaction. There are a few ways this can happen:
Direct contact. The most common cause of peanut allergy is eating peanuts or foods that contain peanuts.
Cross-contact. This happens when peanuts get into a product by mistake. It often happens when food is exposed to peanuts during processing or handling.
Inhalation. Breathing in dust or aerosols containing peanuts, such as peanut flour, may cause an allergic reaction.
Many people who read the woman’s story justified her calling the police
Some, however, claimed it was an overreaction
Later, the woman released an update on her situation
Image credits: natalystep / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: whyframestudio / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SmartSinner
Husbands don’t always side with their wives when they argue with their moms
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A common generalization is that men are more comfortable than women in engaging directly in conflict. However, writer and psychologist Dr. Terri Apter says, “In a family setting, this common ‘truth’ turns out to be nonsense.”
“In fact, men have a lower tolerance for probing conversation and verbal conflict. John Gottman at the University of Washington monitored heart rate, blood pressure, and adrenaline levels of both spouses during marital quarrels, and found that men become physiologically overwhelmed much more quickly than women. With his pulse rate rising rapidly during an argument, and his elevated pressure, a husband may instinctively remove himself from the fray,” explains Apter, author of Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power.
This “stonewalling” technique, according to her, is a defence mechanism against the stimuli that flood our system when we sense danger. Going blank, refusing to show a response, or leaving the room are all defensive acts, and when it comes to family fights, men are really good at ejecting themselves from the situation. So the fact that the Redditor’s husband chose to actively support her is commendable.
“In-law relationships are not simple,” Apter adds. “Balancing loyalties, drawing boundaries between ourselves and the people we love, and resisting the self-protective biases that blind us to our own unfairness are all essential to prevent in-law conflict from overwhelming a marriage—and to silence those cries of ‘Whose side are you on?'”
People were glad to hear her husband took her side
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