A well-thought-out gift is a symbol of love, respect, and care for a person you care about, plus it shows that you’ve truly put in a lot of effort. The problem is that sometimes folks get so carried away when showing affection that they might miss the mark with their gift.
This is what happened when a woman decided to give her boyfriend a present for their anniversary, even though he specifically said he didn’t want anything. To his displeasure, she also tried to control and force him to use her gift the way she wanted.
More info: Reddit
A gift should come with no expectations or strings attached, or else it might leave the other person feeling pressured
Image credits: arutaimages / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that since her boyfriend had been struggling mentally, he didn’t want to do anything big for their second anniversary
Image credits: syda_productions / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Despite agreeing to her boyfriend’s request for no anniversary gifts, the poster decided to make a present and give it to him anyway, as she liked doing such things
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
When the woman noticed that her boyfriend hadn’t used her gifts, she demanded that he at least hang up the art she gave and send her a picture of it
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster’s boyfriend told her not to force him to use the artwork, but she felt that he should try to understand how meaningful it was to her
Image credits: iwishiwerehim
She later wondered if she should make him a gift for his upcoming birthday, even though he said not to, since giving presents was her love language
Since this is the OP’s first relationship, it makes sense that she’s still trying to figure things out and learn from her mistakes. She also shared that they had been going through a difficult time, especially with her boyfriend having emotional struggles. That’s why she wanted to do something special for their upcoming anniversary.
The poster mentioned that since her love language was gift-giving, she felt that it would be a good idea to make something nice for her partner. He had mentioned that he didn’t want to do anything big or exchange presents, but she felt that it would be nice to give him something anyway.
To understand a bit more about gift-giving protocols, Bored Panda reached out to Joyce O’Day, who is a retired world history teacher with Masters Degrees in History and Urban Leadership. She explained that “the woman who gifted the shell heart is in the wrong relationship; she will never be satisfied with that guy if gift giving, and receiving, is her love language.”
“Couples who place importance on presents may be insecure in their relationship, trying to buy the other partner’s love, or are trying to make up for something they feel guilty about. They are [blindly following] tradition or are wealthy with money to burn,” she added.
Joyce, who also wrote an article on why she and her husband don’t exchange presents, shared that “neither of us requires gifts to feel loved or appreciated. Basically, we are minimalists when it comes to most personal possessions. We are more into creating memory-making experiences with family, friends, and just the two of us.”
Image credits: iwishiwerehim / Reddit
After disrespecting her boyfriend’s wishes about exchanging presents, the poster also tried to push him to use her gifts. He didn’t open her letter for a few days and hadn’t hung up her artwork, so she tried to coerce him into hanging it on his wall. All of this must have annoyed the man because he finally snapped at her.
Very often, people get so caught up in the act of giving presents that they forget what the gift is actually supposed to symbolize. Experts state that around 78% of couples believe that the meaning behind the present matters more than its cost or aesthetic, but people often tend to forget this.
The poster was also riled up by her boyfriend’s lack of enthusiasm for her gifts and took this as a form of rejection. Instead of reflecting on her feelings or trying to understand what was going through his mind, she decided to yet again give him a present for his upcoming birthday despite him saying not to.
Joyce explained that “to show appreciation and love for your partner without presenting them with a physical gift, one can plan a special/romantic evening out on the town or at home with their favorite meal. Plan a walk, bike ride in a natural setting, or help them with something without being asked.”
“Chores, gardening, inventorying a record collection, or organizing the pantry: the little things add up. Go out together to purchase something both partners will use and enjoy, like plants, art, or household items,” she added. Hopefully, the OP recognizes that her boyfriend doesn’t want presents and that she can show her affection for him in other meaningful ways, like this.
What advice would you give to the woman to handle this kind of situation? Let us know in the comments.
Most people didn’t like the poster’s gift and felt that she had selfishly given it to her boyfriend because it was something that gave her joy
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