Bones 4.17 – “The Salt in the Wounds” Recap

Back at the Jeffersonian, Cam comes wandering into Bones’sanctuary looking for all the monitors from the floor — which happen to be arranged to display digital x-rays of the entire skeleton. Mr. Vaziri is chagrined, but figures it was the only way to get Bones her skeleton since Cam wasn’t giving up the body. Cam offers to give him the credit, but he doesn’t want it, especially since his way discovered something that would never have appeared on the actual bones — a hairline fracture in the middle ear, suggesting violence. If Bones had actually been there, she would be upset that there’s another point in Cam’s tally.

Angela’s in the break-room when Vaziri walks by, expressing his condolences that her heart has been broken. Angela, normally more level-headed than this, interprets it as his lead-in to a religious ‘˜discussion’and tries to ehad it off. She would be WRONG, as Vaziri offers her a mix-CD. Yes, ladies and gents, he made her a break-up mix tape, complete with ‘Breathe Me’by Sia, ‘Lullaby of Loneliness’by Aaron English and the most melancholy of songs, ‘Dust in the Wind.’I…got nothin’, it more or less snarks itself at this point. Angela gives him a hug and he looks pleased.

Cam’s begun her autopsy when Vaziri joins her on orders from Bones to hover. What, she can’t hover herself anymore? Cam’s annoyed and tells him to go pray or something. Oops. She beckpeadals like a pro, though, and he says it’s nothing like the [insert military unit details I’m not rewinding for here]. After staring for a moment, looking about as confused as I am about the random minitary reference, Cam asks him to hand her the glycerin. (Oh, how I wish we’d added a nitro before that…) The re-hydration only got them so far, so she’s injecting a little glycerine around the ear to look for damage that could have caused the fracture Vaziri found. She injects and we fade to…

…Sweets going at the Alpha, psychologically speaking. She debunks the pact hoopla, but Sweets says the girls are awfully close, though. Not denying it, the Alpha talks about being on the same team, traveling together, going through things together… “Boys….’Alpha blows off the implied question. Boys come and go, but you can count on your friends. They don’t pressure you like your family can. It seems like this is taking a curious turn, and Sweets asks for a little more info, referring to her achievements and full scholarship — all of which went away when she got pregnant — all of which she’s totally OK with. She also chalks up the fact that seven of her teammates followed her to her popularity. She leads, they follow. The only ‘pact’was that, once pregnant, they decided to get a house together to support each other, she even figured out how much each of them would need. ‘Five thousand dollars?’How’d you guess.

But still — four girls, one nerdy guy?

She can’t really speak for the others, but for her, it was an accident. Freaked out about her parents planning her life after she got the scholarship, she went out and ended up in a park. Clinton was there, he was nice, one thing led to another and she was knocked up. Oldest story in the world. And best thing? He doesn’t want any part of the baby-raising action. Really? Shocker. But Alpha thinks it’s great, and maybe that’s why the other girls chose him, too. All the mommies and babies and no icky boys. Shoot me now. They’ll all live in one happy house with their cute widdle babies. ‘Except Ashley.’Thank you, Sweets. My God, how can these teenagers be so self-obsessed that they’re barely blinking eyelids at Ashley’s death? Oh, wait, this is a ‘kids are bad’plot today, so there’s my answer.

It’s more Cam and Vaziri as the former trundles up what appears to be a spectro-light thingamajig. Whatever it is, she’s hoping it can reveal damage not seen in normal light. With Vaziri to help, they rapidly discover the damage they were looking for just in time for Bones to remember she works at the Jeffersonian and might like to make an appearance there. But really, she slides up and starts asking if Vaziri’s switching teams. I knew that was going to come up. Sweetheart, after the way you’ve been acting this episode, I’m ready to switch teams, so don’t go giving the guy any ideas. Anyhoodles, the bruise is right on top of the vagus nerve, and when hit with with enough force is enough to cause…?

‘Cowabunga.’No, not Ninja Turtles, Mr. Vaziri, but cardiac arrest and death. COD? Team Saroyan. Bones grudgingly admits defeat. I cheer at her well-earned demise.

In the next scene we get all the forensic babble we need to know that it was a single blow with a flat circular object, origin unknown. Joining the party temporarily, Hodgins brings us news of a late model sedan, Mercedes or BMW, that was the vehicle Ashley was transported in post-vagus-smashing. He also feels the need to tell us Vaziri’s praying again before he exits, stage right. Bones, apparently still looking for non-religious religious reasons to bounce him, asks if that’s appropriate in the lab. Some take coffee breaks, some take smoke breaks; he takes religion breaks, Cam answers. ‘Who smokes?’Apparently Cam does, in times of great stress. I feel that. Awkwardly continuing the conversation, Bones offers one of her ‘just stating the facts’apologies where she admits she’s wrong — only doesn’t admin she was, you know, wrong. Cam thanks her anyways and yet she’s still there because the writers need someone to state the obvious that you have to have some rather specialized anatomical knowledge to hit the vagus with one blow. Someone, like, say, a chiropractor? Gasp!

But Booth fails at getting a warrant, because there are a ton of BMW’s in DC, driven by a lot of doctors. Oh, wait, just for Bones — ‘doctors’. Anyway, it’s not enough. Gee, if Bones and Booth hadn’t already talked to the ‘˜practor, they could go undercover, but they did, so they can’t.

Sweets and Angela can though, and Sweets’awkwardness is adorable. If the situation hadn’t been contrived so we could listen to Angela talk more about living in the moment (A Moment In the Woods?), I would love this scene. But alas, while trying to figure out if a cover story is necessary and getting a good look at the sketch of the proposed murder weapon, we also get Angela not-soliciting advice from Sweets. His suggestion? The one that she totally won’t be following anytime soon (or maybe next week)? Remove sex from the equation, form other connections. Angela’s not impressed. I snicker — Angela without sex could be interesting. Luckily for me and this recap, the ‘˜practor arrives and moves the pair into his exam room. Long story short (to late), he decides to give Sweets an adjustment, with just the tool they’re looking for. Angela snaps a cell photo and this week’s poignant swan song begins.

One night to be confused/One night to speed up truth. Booth shows the ‘˜practor his murder weapon with a stern, you’re busted expression.

We had a promise made/Four hands and then away./Both under influence/We had divine sense/To know what to say/Mind is a razor blade. Angela looks at pictures of relationships past.

To call for hands above/To lean on/Wouldn’t be good enough,/For me, no. Cam slowly covers up Ashley’s body.

One night of magic rush/The start a simple touch/One night to push and scream/And then relief. Hodgins, pulls out the earring Angela left behind and holds it in his hand.

Ten days of perfect tunes/The colors red and blue/We had a promise made/We were in love. Bones watches Vaziri pray.

At the bar, it’s recap time for those who haven’t figured it out. Desperate to get the 5K to get into the Baby House, Ashley tried to blackmail the coach who’d never slept with her. Next, she tried to steal if from her parents, but got caught. Finally, she went after her ‘˜practor and threatened to cry statutory rape if he didn’t pay. Guess how well that went? Booth is blown that eight girls threw away their futures, but Bones is rationalizing per usual. School is hard, parents put on pressure, college puts on pressure, the girls made a choice, just not the one people expected them too, and opted out of that game. ‘Without their fathers?’Yes, Booth, that was the general idea, and Bones has the anthropological lingo to back it up. Men let women down, and for some reason, that seems to offend Booth. Big surprise, but Bones points to Clinton, who is happily shirking what Booth would call his duty. And now, it is apparently ON, because Booth whips out his phone and calls Clinton so fast I don’t have time to wonder why he would have that kid’s number memorized in the first place. He invites him to a diner, for a TALK poor kid. Git ’em, Booth.