They say parenting is a shared journey, but sometimes, even the pit stops turn into unexpected detours, like when your buddies throw you a surprise baby shower complete with balloons, bump photos, and beers.
For today’s Original Poster (OP), it was all laughs and celebration until his pregnant ex saw the parody pictures and wasn’t amused, to say the least. This left him confused because he didn’t think any of it was a big deal.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes, what seems like a harmless celebration can unexpectedly open a can of worms
Image credits: ivanglezgar / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author and his ex were expecting a baby, with the ex 26 weeks pregnant
Image credits: EbonySalamander
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
His friends and family threw him a baby shower without inviting the pregnant ex, respecting his wish to keep the event separate
Image credits: EbonySalamander
Image generated by Bored Panda using chatGPT
The shower was lighthearted and fun, but photos from it upset the ex, who felt excluded and insulted
Image credits: EbonySalamander
This caused tension, with debates on whether excluding the mother from the shower was appropriate or disrespectful
The OP explained that he was the last of his group to have a kid, and his friends were hyped to finally include him in the dad club, so they threw him a lighthearted baby shower. It wasn’t meant to be a serious, traditional shower, but rather a playful moment. Think beers, banter, and mock maternity shots.
His friends went all-in with the fun, including classic baby shower decorations, goofy photos of the dad holding his belly, and some light roasting in the gift department. According to him, it was all in good fun, a celebration of a new chapter.
However, not everyone found it funny, and by “everyone,” I mean his ex, the one who was actually pregnant. She didn’t appreciate the festivities, especially since he hadn’t offered to throw or contribute to a baby shower for her. When she saw the photos online, she was upset, feeling excluded and insulted by what she saw as “sexist” humor in the parody photos.
According to the OP, they had previously agreed to keep some parenting milestones separate. Since the event was hosted by his friends for him, he didn’t see the harm in excluding his ex and couldn’t understand what the big deal was.
Co-parenting through major milestones like baby showers isn’t always as straightforward as it seems. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Steph Anya explained to Bored Panda that these moments can quickly become emotionally charged. “There’s joy about the baby, but also leftover tension from a past relationship,” she noted.
Add family expectations and the pressure to appear ‘okay’ in front of others, and the whole event can feel like walking a tightrope. She emphasized that the key to navigating these occasions is “clear communication, solid boundaries, and a baby-first mindset.” She then added that, “Mutual respect can turn an awkward day into a meaningful memory.”
Image credits: CreativeDesign295 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When asked how important it is for co-parents to include one another in pregnancy-related events, even when their relationship is no longer romantic, Anya stressed that it’s about more than just appearances. “Showing up for big moments like doctor visits or baby showers sends the message that you’re still a team for your child.”
She further explained that his kind of presence builds trust and mutual respect and sets a tone of cooperation early on. Of course, she acknowledged, “safety and emotional comfort matter, and boundaries are important,” but when possible, these shared experiences can create “more positive memories for both parents and, eventually, the child.”
However, what if one parent wants to celebrate separately, say, throwing a dad-only party like in this case of the OP? Anya believes that individual celebrations can work well, as long as they’re handled with respect and communication. “Co-parents can absolutely celebrate separately while still staying united as a team,” she explained.
The trick, she highlighted, is to “let each other know your plans, avoid scheduling conflicts, and support each other’s events without turning it into a competition. Again, I can’t stress this enough, but then more than ever is when communication and mutual respect are required.”
Netizens largely concluded that the OP was wrong for excluding his pregnant ex from the baby shower. They argued that hosting a baby shower without the mother, who is literally carrying the child, undermines the idea of co-parenting. Even those who tried to stay neutral still saw the move as inconsiderate, pointing out that it was less about celebration and more about personal pettiness.
What do you think about this situation? Do you think it was just a lighthearted celebration, or should the ex have been included no matter what? We would love to know your thoughts!
As for netizens, they maintained that the author was in the wrong for not inviting her to the baby shower
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