Moderator’s note:
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I (34F) am a freelance photographer, and as always, starting in November, I run Christmas-themed photoshoots for families. I take these very seriously – I build elaborate, realistic sets, gather props, lights, decorations, and even rent a van and taught myself to drive it just to transport everything safely. I pour an insane amount of time, effort, and energy into making the shoots memorable and enjoyable for the families.
One family stands out. Both parents are deaf, and they have one child. I spent extra time making sure the atmosphere was warm and comfortable, adjusting my communication style so they felt included.
Their session took longer than usual, but I wanted them to feel relaxed and cared for, and I went above and beyond to make the child feel at ease
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
After the shoot, I uploaded all the images to my website so the family could preview them and select which ones they wanted. Each photo had a full watermark across it to protect my work. I hadn’t heard back from them for days about which images they wanted to purchase yet.
Then today, I stumbled upon a Facebook group for photographers. Someone in the group was offering to remove watermarks, and to my shock, the father from this family was asking if someone could remove the watermarks from some of my photos – the very Christmas images from our shoot.
I recognized my work instantly. I couldn’t believe it
Image credits: Vitaly Gariev (not the actual photo)
I reached out to him immediately:
“Hi Mark, I came across your post asking to remove watermarks from my photos. I’m honestly shocked. I spent hours preparing the sets, carrying gear, taking the photos, and editing them – and I made sure your family felt comfortable during the shoot. You haven’t selected which photos you want, and no payment has been made. Asking someone to remove the watermarks is essentially trying to get my work for free. Please contact me so we can settle payment and I can deliver the photos properly.”
Instead of apologizing, he got defensive. He admitted that he “just wanted to have all the photos” and even asked if I could just tweak a few images for them for free, saying:
“We really like these shots and just want to use them ourselves – it won’t be a problem if we don’t pay for the rest.”
At this point, I was furious.
I had gone above and beyond for them: long sessions, careful communication, hours of editing, plus the cost of props, lighting, and transporting everything
Image credits: Micah & Sammie Chaffin (not the actual photo)
They were asking me to do extra work for free on top of trying to bypass payment for the photos they hadn’t even picked.
I calmly explained to him:
“I understand you want more photos, but I can’t provide additional edits without payment. That’s not fair to me – all of the work I put in, my time, and my craft are valuable. If you want extra edits, we can absolutely discuss a paid option, but I can’t give away my work for free.”
He didn’t respond after that.
I posted a short version of the story on a local photographer group (without naming the family), asking for advice
Image credits: Brett Jordan (not the actual photo)
People had strong opinions. Some photographers told me I was completely justified – that my time and effort should be respected, and that anyone trying to bypass payment was in the wrong. Others said I was being “too rigid” and should have just given the family what they wanted, especially because they’re deaf and have a young child. Some even suggested I “let it slide” to maintain goodwill.
Now I’m second-guessing myself. I genuinely want families to have beautiful memories, and I really care about this family. But at the same time, this is my career, and my work is being devalued. I feel frustrated, stressed, and honestly a little heartbroken that my efforts to make the Christmas session enjoyable are being taken for granted.
So, what do you think, Pandas? AITA for confronting this family and insisting they pay for the photos?
Moderator’s note
Please be aware that the images used in this article are illustrative only and do not depict the actual people or events described.
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