I don’t think that this summer has done much to win over movie-goers en masse. Wonder Woman was certainly great. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 was exactly as good as everybody assumed it would be. We had predictable hits like Spider-Man: Homecoming and unexpected gems like Baby Driver.
But when people look back on Summer 2017, that’s it. Forget “only great movies of the summer,” they’re the only passable ones. Three superhero flicks and a heist film were the only things worth seeing over the course of three months. The sad thing is, though, that things don’t look any better for August.
Despite its infamously rocky production, one of the movies I was looking forward to most this year was The Dark Tower: the long-anticipated adaptation of the cult Stephen King novel series about a gunslinger’s interdimensional quest to save all of existence. To say it had a tough time finding its footing is putting it mildly, but the trailer for it looked exemplary, hitting all the right notes for the franchise. Despite my lingering doubts, I let myself get excited about it.
If the reviews are anything to go by, though, I made a mistake. Mere hours before the film hits theaters worldwide, critics who have already seen the movie are sharing their thoughts on the film, and they are universally ripping it apart.
At the time of this writing, review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes has given the movie a 21%. This means that nearly 80% of critics who saw the movie gave it a negative review. And while it’s early yet in the review process, and its score will naturally fluctuate as more reviews are added, it’s not the kind of place you want people interested in your movie to see it from.
Even worse than nearly universal negative scores, the reviews generally agree that it is an irredeemable mess of a film. Many go so far as to call it the worst Stephen King adaptation of all time. And given that his loose policy toward film rights have given rise to such epic stinkers as Needful Things, Cell and all those damned Children of the Corn sequels, that’s an accusation that carries a considerable amount of weight to it.
Many are also calling it one of the worst movies of the summer: a summer might you, that had Tom Cruise heroically raping a woman to death and a $200 million Smurf movie. It’s worse reviewed than Dead Men Tell No Tales, The Boss Baby and Rough Night. It’s worse reviewed than Snatched, although it still beats out The Emoji Movie, so at least there’s still that.
At this point, I’m still going to see it. I have to, really. I’ve invested far too much of this year waiting with rapt anticipation for it. And if I have to suffer through one of the worst movies of the summer, so be it. At least that’ll finally get this movie out of my system.
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