Having an ex or a partner do something to make them your enemy seems like it’s a common enough of an experience, but having the self reflective ability to see that, actually, you might be the bad guy is a lot rarer.
So we gathered posts from people who at some point in their relationship realized that they were actually the problem and shared the story online. Settle in as you read through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own examples down in the comments if you’ve ever been the villain in someone’s life.
#1
I am very lazy and my husband does a lot of housework and watching our child. I sleep a lot. The reason behind this is depression. I’m not just trying to be a jerk but I seriously feel incapable of doing anything on some days. Well we got into a fight once because he was saying that he is overwhelmed and could I just do the dishes because that would help. I was arguing “don’t you understand that I just don’t feel capable of doing the dishes?” After that argument I was sitting there thinking about it and realized the toll I was taking on him. I also realized how bad my depression had gotten. Got up and did the dishes and made a therapist appointment the next day. I’ve been doing the dishes every day since. It’s small and I still need to help more but I finally realized that I was the problem. It hurt man. It really hurts to realize that.
Image source: Andandromeda3821, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#2
Recently, whenever I’m angry at my girlfriend and discussing it with her, all she does is apologize. Over and over again. First it made me think that yeah, maybe I’m justified in my anger because she’s so apologetic when in actuality my mood swings are becoming more and more frequent and I’m getting more and more angry over the dumbest things. A few days ago it hit me why I never see changes in her behavior- I keep finding different and increasingly inconsequential things to get mad about, regardless of what she does. Made me take a couple steps back and reevaluate MY behavior.
Edit: Thanks for the medals guys, but most importantly thank you kind strangers for all of your positivity and advice. If I thought I was aware of my actions before this booooy did these responses really open my eyes. If you or a loved one is experiencing something similar, take the steps to fix it NOW before it’s too late. I am extremely fortunate to have such a patient and loving girlfriend, who makes all of this possible. I really can’t express how much she makes ALL of this possible. It’s only through her patience and our many discussions about it that we’ve had breakthroughs. Love yourself and others unconditionally and surround yourself with others that do too, and changes will start to take hold.
For clarity, I’m not clinically diagnosed. However, my father is manic bipolar, and I’m his carbon copy. I’ve been fortunate to have a case study in him my whole life. Fairly certain that I’ll receive a similar diagnosis when I begin seeking professional help.
Image source: Runzair, Keira Burton (not the actual photo)
#3
I was in a bad place when my (now) ex found out that his mom’s terminal cancer had progressed. I was depressed at the time and was coping by frantically embracing a “positive mindset” that was bordering on toxic positivity. He became angry and bitter when he heard the news about his mom and I couldn’t handle it. I felt like I was drowning in his moods. I expressed my feelings to him once and he looked at me and said “You come back and tell me how you feel when your mom passes away.”I’m currently recovering and I hate that part of myself. I’m healthy enough now to support someone in their grief without becoming overwhelmed by it, but I wasn’t at the time.
Image source: jedec25704, Liza Summer (not the actual photo)
#4
Jobs always seem to go south three or four months in.
Image source: DownvoteDaemon, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#5
My best friend use to joke that I was creepy, pathetic, and worthless. Then one night they got drunk and confessed they had really meant it all the time.
I decided I needed a new best friend and went out and found one. After about a year they let me know I was needy, boring, pathetic, and worthless.
Second time was the charm.
Image source: varthalon, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#6
As I approach 30 I realize that I have “gifted child” syndrome and my success in high school and college theatre productions mean nothing when I’m not putting in the ground work to have a career.
Image source: mjzim9022, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#7
Realizing I was very toxic towards SO.
Broke up with my partner after having the same discussion for two months without getting close to resolving it. My main reason for breaking up was that he was not able to have constructive conversations in order to work conflicts out.
When we decided to meet up two days after the break-up and have one last conversation, we both realized that the topic of our fighting has not been the issue, but that our way of interacting with each other had become super toxic. For me it was a shock that my behaviour was very problematic too. So we got back together, and are working hard to be in a healthy relationship with each other.
EDIT: reading through the comments I feel like I need to add some information to explain why I decided to give our relationship a second chance. I love my SO but because of our inability to resolve discussions on small things I felt we were not compatible.
Before we had our ‘last’ conversation I was fully convinced he was the ‘problem’, not me (i.e. I felt very misunderstood a lot) But then we talked and self reflected and I realized my behaviour is at times terrible too. We also realized our style of showing affection is different. So we do not always notice the full extend of one showing affection to the other which creates insecurities on both sides.
We decided we do not want to treat each other like that and both felt really willing to work on it together regardless of it working out. If it does, great. If it doesn’t and we break up, thats okay too. I do this for me because I feel like it is important for my (as well as my SO’s) personal growth regardless if we stay together or not.
Image source: Eumachya, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#8
It was 3 years after meeting my best friend. I would get so jealous when she spent time with someone else, especially her now ex. I exploded on her every time she didn’t respond to my texts right away. I had some new lame excuse every month or so, I was so sure every time that something other than me was the problem. I even said things like “it’s your fault”, or “I think I have BPD”. One day, after she didn’t respond right away I sent an angry rant about it. While she was responding to me it hit me- like, so hard, harder than a ton of bricks. It was me. I apologised to her, I cried for a long time by myself realising how horrible I had been all these years. I said I would change, and I did. The change in me was so fast, it was as if I was a new and improved version of myself overnight. Every now and then I still struggled with not being responded to right away, but now I am completely over that. She is now my gf :) we are happy together and I can say that I’m happy with my life.
Image source: inS3CUR1TY, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#9
In my relationship, it was after I left. I got tired of the usual relationship drama and decided I wanted out after 6 years. I quickly jumped into a fwb situation and discovered just how much of a horrid, controlling person I was to be with. Spent some months doing some serious soul searching and my ex ended up texting me. We’ve been working things out, and although he’s not perfect, he’s noticed a huge change in me and he loves that I continue to shock him. He was worth growing for and he’s worth me trying to be a better person for. We both had to commit to grow but it took me seeing that wasn’t just him that was the problem. I had to take control over my actions and be better. We’re now happily expecting our first baby together and I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. I grew up in such a controlling and toxic environment and that’s gonna stop with me.
Image source: Rdhaahdr, Matteo Di Iorio (not the actual photo)
#10
Okay this my accidental bullying story. I had been bullied in middle school and was determined to never let it happen in high school.I thought I could identify a bully from their look and genera behavior. One girl in my class was a potential bully for me and I kept my guard up to her. One day I was talking to a group of friend of mine and she came to us and asked ‘what are you doing here?’ I chimed in before anyone else could speak and said. ‘We’re just talking.’ and she said ‘ can I join?’ I literally thought she was gonna make fun of us about the things we were talking about and said ‘We’re talking as friends.’ and she asked ‘Am I not your friend?’ and I looked into her eyes in a stern face said with my coldest voice ‘No,You are not our friend.’ and she just left. It dawned on me later that she was just trying to become friends with us and I was straight up mean girled her.
Image source: anon, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#11
Met a girl in high school and we hit it off super well. It was like we’d always known each other. Became best friends pretty quickly and during one of our gab sessions she asked if I’d ever had a boyfriend.
So I said no, but told her about the time a guy I considered a good friend had become romantically interested in me and bombarded me with all kinds of gifts on Valentine’s Day the previous year. I said it was completely unexpected and I’d had to turn him down because I didn’t at all think of him in that way.
During the course of my tale she’d become very quiet and I asked what was wrong.
It turned out that the guy was her brother and he had been devastated when I turned him down. He was so broken up about it she swore to *destroy* me if she ever met me.
Image source: PurpleVein99, Becca Tapert (not the actual photo)
#12
Basically in HS we had this maths teacher. She wasn’t too good at handling rowdy HS kids, and everybody made fun of her in various ways. It could be really cruel, and I imagine it’s one of the reasons why she was such a quiet, nervous teacher. Anyway, because all my friends were doing it, and because I hated school and most of my teachers, I took to making fun of her behind her back just like everyone else, and generally being a rude little brat in class. Now what makes this awful is that, around my final years of secondary school, this teacher had the heart to take me in for hour-long study sessions after school to help me with increasingly difficult maths. If memory serves, this was mandatory for not doing homework, which is how I wound up going.
Back in college I realized I was gay and started dating a woman we’ll call Debby. I went home for thanksgiving and told my parents. They had been my biggest supporters and felt this was a betrayal of everything they had raised me to be, and threw me out.
Ungrateful, immoral daughter, defying her parents with a reprobate lifestyle.
Back on campus there was a guy who’d been interested in me. I chased him down and had slept with him to make myself be straight. It didn’t work. I used him and broke his heart. Heartless jek? Me again.
I started drinking. I took it all out on Debby, and broke her heart too.
It’s been years. I’m sober now, in therapy and married to a wonderful woman. I don’t blame myself like I used to, but that was a bad year, and I was an epic villain in three separate but related stories.
Image source: lostmuppet47, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#13
It was with my younger brother. I would prank him or smack him playfully in the head and tell him his head is bent from me smacking. He was young and naive and believed everything I told him. I would kinda bully him and think it was funny. I am 31 now and he’s 27. Two years ago he confessed how much of bully I was and the trauma that caused him. I apologized and regret doing those things. He still thinks good of me but, I will always live the regret and remorse of doing him bad when all this time he would follow me around like a puppy thinking I was the older brother who would always take care of him.
Image source: Haashishin, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#14
I had a crush on this guy in high school. I’m not trying to make excuses for myself, but due to some pretty awful experiences I had a rather shaky understanding of consent – basically assumed that all men wanted to sleep with me and it was my job to seduce them properly. I was also just creepy, socially inept, and not very self-aware. That set the stage for the following:
I sent him a love letter. When that didn’t work, I sent him about 50 pages of handwritten love poems. That also didn’t work
I thought the reason he didn’t want to was because he didn’t think I was dedicated enough to him so I continued to emphasize to him every day that I liked him. That also didn’t work
I happened to be assigned to his group on a group project and found out that his house was in walking distance from the school. I happily informed him that I had memorized the route to his house and he was extremely upset about that.
I finally got frustrated and started stealing his stuff and making him chase me to get it back
He graduated a year ahead of me and blocked me on everything and it still took me 3-4 years to realize how much of an insanely creepy stalker I used to be. I wanted to apologize but he never answered my contact attempts and I found out recently that he passed away in a car accident last year.
Image source: Suyefuji, Curated Lifestyle (not the actual photo)
#15
When my boyfriend (now husband) told me he had a hard time handling my mood swings and they were emotionally exhausting him. I’m so afraid of losing him that something clicked inside me that I needed to get myself figured out. And I’m still trying my hardest but things have improved so much since then.
Image source: Jofenmai, Alena Darmel (not the actual photo)
#16
When my students all got 50% or less on a test I gave I realized I was the common denominator.
Image source: last_alchemyst, Andy Barbour (not the actual photo)
#17
We’d been arguing constantly for weeks. And one day he told me I make him feel crazy
The only times in my life I’ve said someone made me feel crazy I was being outright heavily mistreated. To hear this sweet man tell me I made him feel crazy was a wake up call. I immediately told him we need a break this isn’t healthy anymore, we broke up for good 2 weeks later.
I hope to god he is happy where he is
Image source: Wonderful_Rule_2515, Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
#18
My best friend seemed to grow up faster than me. In junior high, she started talking about boys ALL.THE.TIME. I was a late bloomer and didn’t care. So I branched out my circle of friends and slowly began to distance myself from her.
Then in high school, she called me one night because she was excited to tell me about her first intimate experience. It made me very uncomfortable, and I began to badmouth her when I would talk about her with my new friends. I didn’t really realize until years later how rumors spread based on what I started. It followed her and really messed up that girl’s life. And she never found out that it all started with me. I still feel terrible about it, and if I could take it all back, I would.
Image source: rleash, RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
#19
This was way back when I was in middle school. There was this school event being held outside on the football field. Parents of the students came too, but they arrived after we were all seated. Me and my buddies were just sitting on the bleachers, waiting for our parents to arrive. We were just talking, and in the corner of my eye I spot a morbidly obese woman walking toward the field, along with all the other adults. I pointed her out to my friends: “Holy cow guys, that woman’s fat as hell!”. My friend turns to me:
“Dude, that’s my mom”.
Image source: deleted, Haruki Yoshino (not the actual photo)
#20
It took me losing 5 really good friendships because “they all stopped talking to me” to realize i was the one who stopped talking to them because of fear
Image source: hadulm, Keenan Constance (not the actual photo)
#21
I was really drunk one night, laying in bed trying to sleep but all I could hear was insane traffic noise. Sometimes I can hear the road through my window but this was crazy. Sirens, people shouting, tires rumbling. I couldn’t understand what they were saying but the shouting got louder and louder, I opened my eyes to look outside and see what was going on.
All I can make out is a police car blocking the road and a policeman running towards me.
Id fallen asleep on a mini roundabout.
Edit: Since a lot of people are commenting. I wasnt driving, I was walking somewhere before I fell asleep in the road, possibly home, possibly to another pub. Who knows. Stop telling me drink driving is bad.
Image source: Its-my-d***-in-a-box, Erik Mclean (not the actual photo)
#22
I’m admittedly still working on this. I had a huge amount of childhood trauma. The real progress didn’t happen until I cut off the less obvious toxic people as well as the people making excuses for them. After I stopped allowing others to mistreat me, that’s when I realized I was making myself unhappy.
For a long time, I THOUGHT I’d learned that I was the reason for my unhappiness, but I still continued to complain and make excuses for not doing what I wanted, and being who I wanted to be. It felt impossible to stop indulging in self pity. It’s taken a lot of practice to learn to identify when I’m entertaining that victim thought process as it starts. I still slip up sometimes, but I’ve gotten a lot better at it.
I’ve gone from crying every day and calling out of work at least every two weeks, to, if anything, a five to ten minute pep talk in my head when I start feeling down. If someone had told me 3 years ago that I’d be as content as I am now, I never would have believed them. I feel like an actual person with interests and hobbies. I’m learning who I am, and I’m starting to really admire who that is. I can enjoy myself when I’m alone, and most days I’m truly grateful for my life. I feel like I probably ended up a bit off topic with this, but I’m posting anyway. lol
Image source: CelestialMel, www.kaboompics.com (not the actual photo)
#23
By the time I’d been fired from like 20 different jobs, I realized it wasn’t just bad luck or just happening to get a bunch of jerks for bosses and coworkers—I was genuinely incapable of competently performing at any job no matter how hard I tried.
Anyways then I went on disability.
Image source: DeseretRain, Mikhail Nilov (not the actual photo)
#24
Used to think people were super harsh because criticism always made me cry.
‘Course I quickly learned (like 3rd/ 4th grade) that I was just extremely dramatic and also had/have very extreme anxiety. It’s definitely something I’ve been working on fixing and I’m a *lot* better about it now.
Image source: anon, Monstera Production (not the actual photo)
#25
I’ve been told my entire professional life that I’m difficult to work with. I always chalked that up to having to develop a thick skin as a woman who cooks professionally. About 3 months ago I started taking SSRIs after yet another bad year end review and missed promotion. The pills changed my personality so drastically that I realized the negativity and bad vibes that have been the biggest inhibitor of my career all stemmed from depression and anxiety and that had I started antidepressants earlier in my life I would’ve saved myself a lot of heartache.
Image source: Wichitorian, Michelle Leman (not the actual photo)
#26
When three ex’s back to back over the years were the ones who broke up with me. They couldn’t handle my mental breakdowns and outlashes and self victimizing and broke it off because they were tired of it. One after the other, it fueled my self pity until I got tired of the same old story myself. I’m currently with an amazing woman and we’ve been together for a little over a year now, the longest relationship I’ve ever been in. Her patience and unconditional love and support with my depression and episodes helps me try to be better and catch myself self destructing because I don’t want to lose another person in my life. I’ve gotten a lot better over time but I know I still have a lot of work to do.
Mental health does not excuse and give a pass for outlashes. Think of your loved ones and how they get affected by it and apologize to them when you’re better. Actively be better for them and yourself.
Image source: MorningMess, RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
#27
I realized I was the problem because when I left my friends they seemed to smile way more, and they looked happier.
Image source: GabrielIsGayAF, cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
#28
My daughter’s feet “bended”one day,I realize after I came back for work. She has been in bed all day since she couldn’t get up. (The sitter told me)She was 4yo.
I was so worry and depressed about my cheater husband,that I only feed my 2 daughters with McDonald’s food,e v e r y D a y. I have no mood for anything,neither cook ,clean or play with them. She was missing a lot of vitamins and most importantly potassium. She was severely constipated as well. I was very stupid and I promise that never again that will happen.
I change my life,I divorce the cheater. I look for a less time consuming job. I lose weight and take care of them. I started cooking healthy . It took me a while. In silence I ask them for forgiveness,I still feel guilty now. I know that I change,but a human sometimes can’t forgive themselves.. she is 18yo now. A happy young lady that complains about her mom always cutting sugar in everything and checking that she doesn’t get junk food. She knows now what happened in the past. And I ask her for forgiveness,now that she understands ,she says that is in the past. But still hunted me .
Edit: sorry . English is not my first language I’m still learning.
Image source: xanny_allay, Polina Tankilevitch (not the actual photo)
#29
My turn: in 5th grade I flirted with a girl that I liked. In 5th grade boy language that meant teasing. Nothing gross or mean but just jokes and stuff. I think she knew I liked her because she would joke back and sometimes it would just be us talking in the playground.
One day the teasing wasn’t appreciated and I could tell she was in a bad mood. Kinda grouchy and no fun.
I guess I said something and then she grabbed my hair and said I was a jerk. So I pulled her hair. And her whole wig came off in front of everyone.
She had cancer. She felt bad that day. I teased too far. And finally, I exposed her cancer and loss of hair to the whole school.
I really liked her. She stopped coming to school the next week and passed away the next year.
To this day, 45 years later I still feel the guilt and shame of having made someone else feel that terrible.
Image source: anon
#30
My fiance’s ex is catholic. And even though she initiated the divorce before he even met me I am considered to be the other woman because her parents hold a very conservative view on marriage.
Image source: anon, Signe Lightland (not the actual photo)
#31
Let’s just call him Mike. Mike went out with a girl in highschool. I kind of knew her but not that well and we’d talk every once in a while. Apparently she saw something on me that he didn’t have so she dumped him to go after me. He started going out with a second girl. The second girl was good friends with a girl I thought of as my little sister. When Mike and second girl started having problems right around the time me and little sister were hanging out more. Second girl gets tired of him and decides to start going after me. Mike goes off to college and comes back to town one weekend with the sole hope of seeing a third girl. When he gets into town she rejects him because she already had plans with another guy that weekend and yep, the guy was me. At this point Mike stops going after any girl at all from his home town and goes out of his way to make sure no other girl he dates will ever run into me.
Honestly, I feel bad for the guy. I honestly wasn’t trying to steal any of the girls away from him at all. In fact, I wasn’t even trying to flirt with any of the girls in the first place. They were the ones that went after me! Still, if there is one person in this world that can very understandably hate me, it is Mike.
Image source: rhett342, Getty Images (not the actual photo)
#32
Dude at work. I find him incompetent. I’m not his boss, but in the org structure I am technically above him. His product is failing and he might end up indirectly working for me. I know he hates me. I try to be nice but I have such a hard time sugarcoating incompetence. To be honest he barely registers. I’m trying to fix it, but not trying that hard.
I feel like in work terms I’m his villain.
Image source: anon
#33
I wore thick coke bottle glasses until around age twelve. I also always wore a baseball hat while riding the bus in elementary school. Kids would frequently ask to borrow my hat/glasses so they could put the hat at a weird skewed angle on their head, cross their eyes, and repeat the phrase “I wanna be like Gary!” over and over. I just assumed this was something from TV I had not seen as we only had a rabbit-ear TV with about eight channels. I years later learned that Gary was a boy who also rode my bus and I was absolutely mortified. I was basically providing bullies with props to mock this poor kid. Never even met the guy.
Image source: anon
#34
Met my now wife at club we both worked at. A bunch of us all knew each other through work and regular went out clubbing. A guy who worked with us was in love with my other half, it came to a head one night and he went crazy in a club and trashed the place, (because he told my wife he loved her and she said; nah I’m with analyst_rude. He was beaten up quite badly and ejected by the door staff. I arrive after this happend so didn’t witness it, but I’m not his favourite person.
Image source: Analyst_Rude
#35
Having to take a then friend to the dean of the college after she stole a few grand from the club I was president of.
She didn’t necessarily steal intentionally, but she stole nonetheless. We are no longer friends, but she at least still plays nice when we run into each other.
Image source: Broo_lynn
#36
When my first gf cheated on me and left me for someone else. I would’ve been the hero if I walked away, but I didn’t. I begged for her back. Won her back then cheated on her constantly for revenge. I became so obsessed with humiliating her the way she humiliated me that I lost myself. I remember I realized I was the villain of her story when she found out, cried, and said “what’s wrong with you”
Revenge isn’t good kids. Just turn the other cheek and forgive
Image source: deleted
#37
I was insanely shy in school. Like almost fully debilitating social anxiety. It was especially bad in high school when the kids I was at least comfortable eating lunch with went to a different middle school. I saw everyone else as being all knowing and confident, and having some sort of secret script to know the “right” thing to say. If someone tried to start a conversation with me my thought process would be “oh god why are they talking to me there must be some hidden agenda” and just try to get out of the conversation as fast as possible
Then this one graduating senior I was mildly aquainted with for some reason dropped to me that people thought I was stuck up. That was mind blowing to me. Couldn’t everyone tell that they were the confident ones and I was terrified of them? Well no, they couldn’t. It was an epiphany that wow, other people are actual worried about what I think of them just like I’m worried about what they think. And if you avoid talking to people, that’s actually hurtful.
Image source: Catharas
#38
Had a girlfriend like 11 years ago in high school, we worked at the same place but I got significantly more hours than her.
Didn’t realize how much I was working and not spending time with her until we talked and she said “I feel like in bed is the only time I can be with you, you’re working any other time”.
Immediately started reshuffling my schedule and dropping days to spend more time with her, we still broke up like a year and a half later for a different reason but that definitely was an eye opener
Image source: RoughHumble
#39
I can say this now because I’m much much better than I was… but on time I was getting trained by someone for a new job. I came in new to the job but with a college certificate that got me position. She was very experienced in the job. I kept trying to impress her with my knowledge by guessing what the answers would be as she taught me. At a certain point she said something like “I wish you would shut up long enough for me to teach you something!”
She was mad, and she was right. I wasn’t listening. I wasn’t learning. I was trying to be cool and in the process completely fumbling the job. I won’t say I got better over night, but the comment stuck with me. Now I’m a few jobs down the line, learning something new, and I’m much much more gracious and attentive.
TLDR: Let people teach you stuff by shutting the F up.
Image source: Ozzimo
#40
I had a housemate who had a billion incredibly annoying little habits and the phoniest, most grating syrupy sweet persona. Couldn’t stand her. My bestie and I were so stoked when she moved out. Reconnected about a decade later and she’s one of the loveliest and most naturally kind people I’ve ever known. She hasn’t changed a bit. My bestie and I were 100% just being mean girls and we didn’t even see it. Not only did my old housemate not hold it against us, she’s so genuinely predisposed to see the good in others that she never realized we were jerks, either. I’m grateful that I got the entirely unearned opportunity to learn to properly value her.
Image source: coitus_introitus
#41
So early in my wife and I’s marriage I would get annoyed that she would get upset over small things. It felt like she was just waiting for something to be mad about. She was able to help me realize that where I saw small isolated incidents, to her they were small parts of a bigger picture where I was not following through on things I said I would do or times I just didn’t take into consideration how my actions or inactions made it seem like I didn’t care.
It took me a while but I got much better at stepping out of my shoes and looking for things that she likes to have done and generally trying to be more conscious of her time, feelings and specific things that cause her anxiety.
Our marriage is worlds better and I still mess up obviously but the effort and thoughtfulness is all she’s asking for because she really does so much for us and I love being with her.
Image source: generic-username45
#42
When I got punched, and everyone went and shook the hand of the puncher.
Image source: Aun_El_Zen
#43
I was in a relationship with just a really awesome person. Confident, calm, very aware of others, someone who just always made the situation more fun and relaxed. She was so cool and had so many experiences that I wanted that I got envious of her. I felt like I wasn’t good enough, and I would react poorly to certain situations, act petty. Eventually I had to stop being friends with her because I thought she was causing all this turmoil in me. I realized later that it’s probably just me who needs to get my head together. I feel like I’m not a whole person with all these problems, like a monster. I hate not being friends with her. I don’t know if I ever can be again.
Image source: space_is_the_place_
#44
I realized I have a hand in every situation in my life, that I am always responsible for myself; any situation I encounter I have a choice as to how to handle, respond, and perceive it.
I was probably 17 when I realized blaming everyone else for my issues is what my parents do and I don’t want to be anything like them, so I took a step back.
Image source: –Clover–
#45
When my therapist told me i overreact when i was feel rejected, even if it’s a little rejection, due to lack of love my parents gave me when i was little.
Image source: buzzcocksrule
#46
When I made the realization that most of the women I’ve dated married and had kids with the guy they met right after me and I’m 30 years old, single and cuddling my dog nightly.
Image source: Kull89
#47
Trying to teach my middle son to swim.
Last “Parent/Teacher” lesson, and he was crying and not liking it, wouldn’t jump in the water, etc.
Next week, I was just watching from outside the pool, and he was just fine with the instructor. Not precisely sure what I was doing, but it was surely me.
Image source: youdubdub
#48
Back in high school I went to summer camp. That was pretty cool, I liked it, new friends and stuff. At the last day we threw a party, and a dude I barely said one or two words during all the time, nothing special, just small talk, approached me and said he was happy to meet me DESPITE I BULLIED HIM all the time. It was, like, WHAAAAT? Still have no idea what did he mean, but I guess, that story belongs here.
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#49
I think I accidentally bullied a kid in 3rd grade. I would tease him as a joke, and like, idk steal his hat or something, play keep a way for like, 30seconds then give it back to him. To this day i don’t know if that counts as bullying, I didn’t do it with any bad intentions and he was a really nice kid. When 4th grade started he started being a bit of a jerk to me, I still don’t know if something else happened or if he didn’t like me or something? I don’t know, but I always feel like i was kind of mean to him.
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#50
I broke it off with a guy.
I wasn’t ready for a relationship and I told him when we started dating that I wasn’t in the right headspace to do anything serious. I kept my distance, did not introduce him to my family, did not say I loved him. It was still too much for me, after recently ending a decades long marriage.
We stayed in touch, no hard feelings. We talked infrequently. I was a pet sitter once. Eventually, we lost touch.
He contacted me a year later. Told me that we needed to talk because he was seeing someone. I said that was fantastic, and that I was really happy for him. I told him I had recently gone on a date myself, but it wasn’t going to go anywhere because I knew I wasn’t ready yet, and quite frankly, I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to be.
He flipped. Said he was in love with me, but hated the person I had become.
I really failed to understand how much he cared for me and I was unable to return that. Nonetheless, I want him to have a good life.
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#51
1. In high school, I slept with another persons SO while they were off doing military training. They were not happy when they found out. Nothing ever came of it though.
2. Also in high school, while at a dinner and a dance type event this one person completely ignored their Date during the dinner portion. The Date went to another school so they didn’t know anyone there.. and in high school thats even more awkward. Myself and another person were the only ones who talked to the Date so when it came time for the dancing portion of the evening I asked the Date to dance. We spent the entire night dancing while the other person had to sit by themselves at the dinner table. I got the Date’s number at the end of the night.
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#52
I sort of stole my roommate’s cat when I moved out. He adopted the cat about a year and a half earlier, and it was supposed to be just his cat. However, I wound up feeding him and cleaning his litter box often, eventually paying for much of his food and litter, and even as far as paying for his vet visits.
When it came time to part ways, I told my roommate that I wanted to take the cat, but he insisted that it was his, and I had been crossing a line by taking care of his cat for him. This was the first time he had ever said anything about the subject, and had been letting me pay all these months. So I took the cat. About an hour later, I felt bad and returned him to my tearful roommate, and we never spoke again.
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#53
Maybe no one will see this but I realized I was the problem when I almost ruined my dads surprise party by staying in my bed and making my family late and in my mind I was always thinking “they deserve this for what they’ve done to me” They weren’t always there when I was a kid but now they try to be and I push them away . I’m trying to be better with them but it just hasn’t been the same cause we got in an argument that day and some tears were shed
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#54
I went to a friend’s wedding and the best man gave a speech about how this jerk he met demanded he defend why his friend (groom) was worthy of dating her friend (the bride). And he, the best man, was able to say without a doubt that the groom was a great guy and blah blah blah.
Of course, I’m “the jerk” in this story. That felt great.
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#55
This is sad but when I had to sleep behind liquor store dumpster on an empty pallet. I was a histrionic, egotist who had so many bridges burned I had to swim. Life has gotten much better since then.
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#56
One day I realized that I was enabling. I would complain and verbally say that something is not right or cannot stand. But I wasn’t prepared to walk away. So I was verbally opposed but tacitly enabling the behavior. My actions (or inactions) spoke louder than my words. I still think she behaved horribly. But it wasn’t until much later that I understood my own contribution.
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#57
A few years ago I was promoted to supervise the unit I worked in. One of my former peers was a nice person and my work friend, but terrible at her job. The prior supervisor knew she was bad but didn’t know how terrible it really was. Once I found out, I tried for a year to give her tools, support, etc. but she didn’t get better. I had to start progressive discipline (union job). She told me that I had changed and was a bad person now. She ended up sending me an anonymous letter about how God wanted me to be nicer. Unfortunately for her, she got my home address from our payroll system (she was the payroll person). I found out that it was her through total happenstance. She lied in the HR investigation and got fired.
I’m definitely the villain in her story.
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#58
When I was reported to the guidance counselor. I then realized that jokes can actually cause harm, even if you perceived them as harmless. I’m happy I learned this lesson at a young age.
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