No romantic relationship is perfect. It will have its inevitable ebbs and flows, all of which are normal and even necessary for growth.
However, it’s another thing to be a bad partner altogether. It’s the people who no longer add value to their partner, or worse, have become a toxic liability. For today, we’re focusing on the men. These personal anecdotes from their partners highlight their toxic behaviors, which no one deserves to be exposed to.
Gentlemen, if you value your significant others, avoid these behaviors.
#1 Aitah For Breaking Up With My Boyfriend After He Made A Very Inappropriate Comment To My Sister?
I’ve been dating this guy for 3 years, and I really thought he was the one, but today he made me quickly change my mind. I have a half-sister (16, I am 22); we have the same dad and different moms, and we don’t look much alike.
Two years ago, my dad developed a severe form of leukemia, and he passed away within a couple of months. Needless to say, it was the hardest thing my sister and I had to face in life. My sister took it particularly hard; she used to love going to the gym and working out, and she stopped doing so. She also started eating much more junk food, and ended up gaining a lot of weight.
Today, my boyfriend and I went to my sister’s house as her mom had invited all of us for lunch. We were eating homemade pizza, and my sister ended up asking her mom if she could have another slice. That’s when my boyfriend said, “Are you sure you want another one looking like that?”. My sister got up from the table and ran to her room. I was in shock, and I wasn’t able to tell him anything, nor follow my sister to her room, which I deeply regret.
Thankfully, my boyfriend and I don’t live together, so before he dropped me off at home, I told him it was over because he can’t disrespect my sister like that, especially because he had been there when my dad passed and knew how it made both of us feel.
I tried to call my sister, and she won’t answer. I texted her mom to ask her if she’s ok, and she said she’s ok, and she’s not mad at me, but she doesn’t want to talk to anybody right now. I’m going to go over to her mom’s house after she’s done with school tomorrow and bring her some flowers. I know I’m not the one who said anything, but I hope she can forgive me for not stepping up… I was in shock, and I hope she understands.
Image source: Banana_toffee, Andres Ayrton
#2 Aitah, Husband Cut Off My Son’s Hair, So I Used His Card To Buy My Son The Designer Jacket He’s Been Wanting
My son is 17, and pretty much all his life has had long hair. He had long, thick, and very well maintained black hair that went just past his chest, and he loved it.
My husband, his step-dad, has never been a fan of it and has always thought it was girly. He’s never been mean or cruel about it to my sons face, but he has said to me that he thinks he should cut it off.
The two of them got into a huge fight because my son has been skipping his classes, and my husband decided that to punish him, he was going to cut his hair. I don’t know how it went down, but when I came home, my son was crying and cutting his own hair in the mirror.
I asked him what was wrong and what he was doing and he told me my husband had randomly cut his hair short in spots and now he had to cut it really short to even it out and make it look okay.
I went and spoke to my husband to find out the specifics of what happened from his side as well and it ended up in yelling because while I don’t agree with my son skipping classes I felt that cutting his hair over it was cruel and horrible when this could’ve been resolved another way.
To cheer up my son, I bought him this affliction leather jacket that he’s wanted for a while out of my husbands money. My husband found out and was furious but I told him he shouldn’t have cut my sons hair and he can do this as an apology. It’s going to take years for my sons hair to grow back, but my husband can make that money back quickly. AITAH?
Image source: ithinkantsarecute, Yera Castelán
#3 Aitah For Going #2 In My Bathroom?
Small disagreement between my husband and I, and I’m really wondering if I’ve been the AH in this situation.
We have a house with a main bath and an ensuite bath off our primary bedroom. I primarily use the en suite bathroom because I have my squatty potty there. My husband feels it is in the way even when tucked next to the toilet, so he mainly uses the main bath and I use the en suite.
Tonight, just before the kids were getting ready for bed, I used the toilet in the ensuite bath. I put on the fan and shut the pocket door of the bathroom to minimize smells. However, the kids have been getting stories, snuggles in our bedroom lately, and when my husband entered the bedroom 10 min later to read to the kids, he was upset that I had chosen to use the ensuite bath instead of the main bath.
He said it was disrespectful for me to use the en suite bath when I knew him and the kids would be in the bedroom minutes later. The bedroom didn’t smell, but he did go into the en suite to wash his hands and it stunk.
From my perspective, everybody [goes #2] and I did what I could to minimize smells. We are a pretty open door family so it surprised me that he felt so strongly about it. And it got me really wondering if I was the AH?
Image source: kellerinacatmac, Miriam Alonso
It helps to recognize the relationship red flags to avoid having the worst boyfriend experience. One way to do this is to take note of their toxic traits and know when to sound the alarm.
Physician Kristen Fuller, who now specializes in mental health, says the first thing to note is how the person treats others.
#4 Aitj For Snapping At My Boyfriend After He Made A Creepy Comment About My Younger Sister’s Body?
I’m 27F, and my 13-year-old sister has been staying with me for the past few months while our parents work overseas. I’ve basically taken on a guardian role during that time.
We’re really close. She tells me things she wouldn’t tell anyone else, and I try my best to make sure she feels safe, especially at her age when confidence can be really fragile.
The other night, my boyfriend and I were on a video call while I was folding laundry. My sister had just come back from dance practice and walked through the living room in shorts and a tank top, heading to her room. Nothing unusual.
My boyfriend went quiet for a second, then said, “Wow… your sister’s body is really starting to develop. She’s going to be dangerous when she’s older.”
I immediately felt my stomach drop. It didn’t sound like a normal comment at all, it felt off, like there was something behind it.
Without really thinking, I told him to shut up and asked him what the hell was wrong with him. He tried to laugh it off and said it was “just an observation” and that I was being dramatic.
I didn’t even argue. I just hung up.
Now he’s texting me saying I embarrassed him and disrespected him by snapping like that, and that I owe him an apology.
But I honestly don’t think I did anything wrong. That’s my little sister. She’s a kid. Who makes comments like that?
Now I’m just stuck here wondering if I’m crazy for thinking he crossed a serious line.
Image source: Feisty-Product5654, Vitaly Gariev
#5 Aitah For Wanting To Continue Taking My Nightly Showers
So me(29) and my bf(28) have a 6 month old baby who is exclusively breastfed. Every night she wants to be nursed to sleep which is fine but I also like to take a shower every night before getting into bed.
So sometimes after I get her to sleep I’ll do some things before my shower like do dishes, clean up a little, or whatever. But lately she’s been waking up after about 45 and crying and won’t settle unless I get back in bed with her (we co sleep) and feed her. So tonight I fed her and went to get right in the shower rather than doing my usual cleaning because I knew I had about 45 minutes but his dog started barking at something and woke up her. I had to get out of the shower halfway to settle her.
So now he’s telling me that I need to start showering during the day and I can’t shower at night because she always wakes up but like no one’s here to help me during the day so I just feel like at night it makes the most sense. I also feel like he needs to learn how to settle her because it’s not fair that all of the responsibility is on me and I can’t even take a freaking shower before bed.
Anyway am I being unreasonable? Like I want to continue to shower at night before going to bed but I don’t know if maybe I’m not being fair to him and our baby.
Image source: Kooky_lady, Polina Tankilevitch
#6 Aitah For Changing My Underwear After A Shower?
My (40F) partner (M45) thinks it’s wrong that I change my under wear after a shower in the morning. I get up to take my dog for a walk early in the morning and put clean underwear on, then come home and have a shower and change my underwear. The walk is only 20 minutes, and this is now turned into an argument that I must be cheating. This morning my underwear must have fallen from my arms as I was carrying washing to the laundry, and he messaged me saying that “you left your spare knickers on the floor you take to work… hilarious”. I told him that I change my underwear after a shower, it just doesn’t feel right to put them on again. He is now saying that I must want to be fresh for work and the men there. So am I the bad guy here?
Edit: I don’t wear underwear to bed, so I have to put underwear on to take my dog for a walk, I then put fresh underwear on after my shower.
Update: He demanded I give him my phone to look through, I handed it over to him and followed him out to where he was sitting to take his phone. He said he has nothing to hide but because I’m the one that needs to ‘prove’ something he doesn’t need to let me look through his phone.
Also on another note, I do 99% of the washing, and water and washing loads are not an issue in regards to that aspect.
Image source: New_Cry_2336, Sora Shimazaki
In an article for Psychology Today, Fuller points out that one sign people commonly miss is when someone complains to them about others, essentially using them as an emotional punching bag.
“If so, then you may want to take a step back to gain insight into this situation and re-evaluate the purpose of this relationship,” she wrote.
#7 Aitah For Refusing To Buy Protection And Telling My Boyfriend It’s His Responsibility?
Just for some background, I recently stopped taking my birth control because it was negatively affecting my body. My boyfriend and I talked about it at the time and agreed we’d switch to using protection instead.
It’s been about a month now, and I brought it up again because I want to be responsible moving forward. He agreed, but then said that if I want protection, I should be the one buying it.
That honestly didn’t sit right with me. I feel like this is something that affects both of us, so it shouldn’t fall entirely on me, especially since I was the one dealing with the side effects from birth control in the first place.
I told him I don’t think it’s fair and that he should be willing to buy it too, or at least take some responsibility here. He kind of brushed it off and made me feel like I was being difficult over something small.
Now I’m second guessing myself because it turned into a bit of an awkward situation between us, and I don’t know if I’m making this a bigger deal than it needs to be.
AITAH for standing my ground and saying he should be the one to buy protection (or at least share that responsibility)?
Image source: anon, Polina Zimmerman
#8 Aitah For Breaking Up With My Boyfriend Over A Penny?
I (25f) and my boyfriend (25m) have been dating since high school. He knows I have my weird quirks and rituals due to my OCD and it has been a prominent thing in our relationship. He knew this before we started dating and it has never been an issue before.
I love him so much and I may have overreacted but I don’t know.
For some context, I was diagnosed with OCD when I was around 7 years old and not like where I have to be tidy or anything. For me specifically, I do things in sets of 2, and I have reoccurring thoughts, bad anxiety, etc, etc. At first, I feel like my boyfriend was really supportive. He’d make comments here and there and poke fun at it like, “Did you do it twice?” or something like that. It never really bothered me up until recently, he tries to do things that he knows will upset me and make me spiral just for fun. One thing I like to do is pick up pennies for good luck. Not that I like believe in luck, but I just always do it and I feel like I need to do it.
So a few weeks ago, he was talking with his friends and they had brought up something and I guess they caught me in one of my little habits, it’s one where I have to crack my knuckles a certain way. His friends kind of laugh and ask me what I’m doing. My boyfriend goes, “ocd freak.” I knew he was joking, but like why is he trying to embarrass me in front of his friends. A different time, he asked me why I had to be so embarrassing.
So the other day, we were walking downtown and I pick up this penny and he notices. When we get beside the river, he takes my penny and throws it in there. I started freaking out and obviously my mind spiraled with thoughts that weren’t true, but still scary like “you’re gonna get bad luck.” I literally started to tear up and he told me I’d be fine. I asked him why he would do that and he said it wasn’t a big deal. I told him that he knew before we started dating that my OCD was a huge part of who I was and that little things like this really set me off. He told me to not be so sensitive so I brought up everything he had been doing for the past few weeks and I told him if he couldn’t accept this part of me, then I didn’t want to be with him. I ended up getting my mom to pick me up and I haven’t seen him since (it’s only been 2 days). He keeps texting me and apologizing, but I don’t know if I should keep him in my life or not, his weird snarky replies about my ocd and like taking my penny and throwing it. It sounds stupid, but it really made me upset.
UPDATE:
First of all, thank you to everyone who commented on my original post, if you haven’t read it, please do. Even the hate comments taught me something, OCD is so misrepresented on the media. I’ve been in my own little OCD circle, and haven’t really met people like me.
I’ve had a lot of people telling me to just “get help” and that my condition was completely manageable. Before I get into the update, I want to explain a little more about my OCD.
I’ve had several people say it was the cute kind because I have “quirks”. I appreciate it people trying to paint it as something not so bad, but remember folks, your knowledge of other people on the internet is limited. When I was younger, I refused to eat or drink any foods not prepared by me because I was afraid they were poisoned. Yes, I was afraid my own friends and family tried poisoning me. Another thing, I have extreme heath anxiety, I am very body conscious and every time something feels off, even slightly, I go to the doctor. I sometimes go twice a week. I have periods where I’m okay, and I feel like I’m finally doing better, and then it all comes back again. It’s exhausting, also exhausting that so many people think I can go into remission and heal myself. A lot of people compare their disorders of BPD, ADHD, etc, etc to mine and tell me since THEY got better, I can and that I’m “not working hard enough.” Funny enough, that day I went out with my boyfriend, I had a single OCD moment. Usually, it’ll come randomly, “if you touch this, you’ll die” or “if you don’t do this, you’ll die”.
So this all happened 4 days ago. I tried to not answer him when he’d text me, maybe little okays here and there. The gist of it is basically that I should’ve known he was joking. He turned it from he was sorry to I SHOULD be sorry. I asked him if he even understood my side, and he said “no, but maybe we can talk in person.” I told him that we could meet, but I was pretty firm in my stance. We had dinner last night and he said he was out of line, even afterwards when texting me. He told me he couldn’t lose me and that he loved me. He told me he did some research on OCD and compulsions and learned that these things can be really triggering for some people. I told him thank you for saying that, but I needed to work on myself. I’ve been with him for 8 years, I don’t know myself without him. I told him we could still be friends, but he really hurt me and this was my opportunity to now work on myself.
Later though, his mom texted me and she said I was making a mistake. His mom loves me and I knew she would probably be more devastated than him. I told her that my decision was final and that he really hurt me. She basically told me that I was just looking for a reason to leave him, because that was ridiculous. I told her it wasn’t true, and I even explained all of the other circumstances. She told me to give him one more chance, and I left her on read…
I don’t even know if I want to speak to him anymore, but I do know that I’m glad I did this for myself. Again, thank you to all the comments who supported me and to all the comments who did not. If you told me to just get help, please go take a psychology course or get a degree!
Image source: ereb78, Timur Weber
#9 Aitah For Dumping My BF Over Text?
I (20 F) broke up with my boyfriend (24 M) over text.
We have been together for 2 years. Two weeks ago, he brought up the idea of children. We had never discussed this before, so I was able to express that I do not want to have a natural birth and would prefer adoption if we went the route of having kids together. Not to air out all my business, but due to medications I’m on, I would not be able to carry out a pregnancy unless I stopped taking them, which is not an option. He immediately got upset, saying he couldn’t believe I waited to bring this up until now (even though we had never discussed children before) and said he expected me to continue his bloodline and carry his child. He then told me that he did not believe in adoption, because then the child isn’t actually his. I am adopted. I got upset and told him to take me home. Later that night, once he got back to his house, he sent me a paragraph so long that I had to scroll to read it all. It was a play-by-play fantasy of how he expected MY birth story to go. How he expected us to cry over the negative tests, celebrate the positives, cut the umbilical cord, ect. When I told him that I didn’t think that things would work out anymore, he began saying he would be fine with adoption and that I was overreacting for being upset that he would want his own biological child. I told him that I couldn’t stay with him because I felt he would resent me if we did get married, choose to adopt, and have a life together. Idk… Am I the ahole?
EDIT: I would have broken up with him in person had he not sent me a paragraph detailing what he expected my birth story to be. He also lives an hour away from me, so it was not worth it in my mind to prolong anything when I was completely done.
Image source: FewDecision5576, Pavel Danilyuk
How a person deals with conflict is another key factor, Fuller says. A toxic red flag, in this case, is when the individual refuses to communicate, address the issues at hand, or apologize for their actions.
“A person who truly cares for you will try to make amends and not sever the relationship,” Fuller noted.
#10 Aita For Letting Him Eat What He Cooked?
Me (35F) and my spouse (38M) are the parents of a 5 year old neurodivergent kid. My husband refuses to educate himself on that topic. At the same time, he has recently admitted how much he hates my tendencies to micromanage everything.
I can understand that. Though I am the only one constantly assessing and anticipating our daughter’s mental state in order to be able to regulate her nervous system and prevent avoidable meltdowns.
Yet, in order to save our relationship, I am learning to keep my mouth shut. Today, our daughter returned home really overstimulated, I let her draw and played some calm music to let her unwind.
Later, my husband decided to play a videogame, but our daughter wanted his attention, therefore he chose to show her the game. The game which has a lots of visual and flashing effects. And as always he turned the volume up. They were doing so for approx. an hour while I was tidying our daughters bedroom.
When he decided to quit the game, our five year old started being really dysregulated and difficult (having a hard time) and he could not get her to bath. That’s when he came to me to take over and….I decided to say no.
AITA for keeping him responsible for his choices? Is it malicious to let him deal with the consequences when he perceives my recommendations as nagging?
Image source: Notsogoodreason, KoolShooters
#11 Aita For Paying A Mechanic After My Boyfriend Kept Saying His Mate Would Fix It Eventually?
I’m 26F and I’m at uni in the UK. My car is old but it gets me to campus and work, so when it started making a horrible screeching noise every time i braked, i got a bit stressed. My boyfriend said his mate works on cars and would have a look at it for cheaper maybe even free, so i waited because money is tight at the moment as i only have a part time job with uni so i thought id wait.
That was two weeks ago. In that time the noise got worse and it felt like my breaks weren’t working anymore. I asked twice if his mate had any time and kept getting told he was busy. Last Friday I ended up taking it to a garage near my flat because I did not feel safe driving it anymore.
It turned out the brake pads were basically finished. The garage fixed it the same day and said I was lucky I had not kept driving it for much longer.
My boyfriend is annoyed because I did not wait for his mate. He says I made him look stupid by not trusting what he said. I just wanted the car fixed before it became a proper problem. AITA?
Image source: badasanabelle, Sergey Meshkov
#12 Aitah For Telling My Husband His “Jokes” About My Cooking Aren’t Funny Anymore?
I (32F) do most of the cooking in our house. My husband (34M) has this running joke where he’ll make comments like “oh, is this edible?” or “what did I do to deserve this?” I used to laugh it off but it’s been years now and I’m tired of it.
Last night I made a really nice dinner and he made another joke. I put down my fork and said “I need you to stop. It’s not funny. It just makes me feel like you don’t appreciate what I do.” He said I was being too sensitive and that he’s just joking. I told him joking is supposed to be funny for both people. Now he’s acting like I started a fight over nothing.
AITAH for finally saying something?
Image source: Quesos_Sabau, kaboompics
If a person came from a toxic relationship, pointing out their ex-partner’s faults is normal. However, doing it excessively is another warning sign to look out for.
“If someone is blaming their past relationship problems on all their ex-partners, it shows that they can’t take responsibility for their own actions,” attachment therapist Madaleine Munro tells Vice.
#13 Wibtah For Breaking Up With BF After He Defended His Best Friend?
For context I’ve (26F) been with my boyfriend (27M) for 4 years. We are genuinely perfect for each other, perfectly compatible, very much in love. My only problem since the start has been his best friend lets call him Josh (25M).
Josh has always given me an odd vibe. He would keep picking “play fights” with me, try to make plans with me alone, and never take money from me for my share of any bill if we, say, went out as a group. I didn’t pay much attention to this for a while though, bec I just assumed he was friendly and trying to make me feel like a part of the group.
Things went south when his girlfriend left him a few months ago. He was a nervous wreck and would visit me and bf a lot more than he used to. On day, bf wasn’t home and Josh came drunk. He was in the living room waiting for bf. I was cooking lunch when he came up behind me and started pressing up on me. I tried pushing him away and he started to scream and accuse me of being a tease. He was groping and touching me but he’s a lot stronger than me and I couldn’t push him off me.
He left by the time bf got home. BF found me sitting on the floor, crying. I told him everything and he confronted Josh, but later defended him saying he was drunk and I should let it go. When I got mad at this, he said I was overreacting and that it’s not like he “hurt” me or something. I am disgusted by this. He did confront Josh, but it doesn’t sit right with me that he would defend him despite what Josh did to me. WIBTAH if I broke up with bf even though he has confronted Josh?
Image source: Delicious_Inside6261, cottonbro studio
#14 Aitah If I Cut My BF Off From Talking After He Said “You Keep Doing This To Me”?
Long story short, I, 35F, and my bf, 37M, sat down for dinner. I cooked us chicken breast and cut up a nice salad to go with it.
My bf tends to be particular about his chicken, he likes it dry and I like it to be a bit more juicy, so I often try to reach a mid point. This night I was using a much thicker chicken breast than I usually would, so I let it cook for an additional 6 mins and checked that is was cooked through. The flesh was white, so I thought it was good to go. He was iffy about the chicken, I asked if he wanted me to throw his back in the oven, and he turned down the offer.
After some inspection I noticed my chicken had veins in it, so I looked at his and he asked what I was looking at, I pointed out a vein. He said “well now I don’t want to eat it. You know I don’t like eating chicken that’s juicy. You keep doing this to me…” he went to continue talking, but I reacted quickly and said “don’t start with that please.” To which he exploded and said “I can’t talk to you? I can’t tell you my opinion? Now I’m definitely not eating anything,” and then he stormed off to the couch. I tried to explain that him saying “I keep doing this to him” sounds intentional, as if I’m doing something to try to upset him and that is not true at all. In fact, I often do as much as I can to ensure he’s happy.
He argued that I have cooked the chicken too juicy for his liking repeatedly and “it’s facts.” He didn’t want to hear anything but an apology from me and since I didn’t give it, he left.
To give some context, I am the only one in the relationship who cooks and that day before he thanked me for meal prepping our lunches and cooking a nice pork chop dinner. So AITAH for cutting him off?
Image source: Sanckelly773, Michael Burrows
#15 Aitah For Not Wanting To Cook With My Husband Because He Makes Me Feel Like A Child?
My husband (32M) is an amazing cook. Like genuinely amazing. He grew up in a family where everyone cooked, and they actually taught him techniques, flavors, timing all of it. He gets so much joy and pride from cooking, and honestly, I love that about him. The food is great and I’m proud of him.
Me (29F) I’m average at best. I wasn’t really taught how to cook growing up, and what I was taught… wasn’t great. I can make basic meals and follow a recipe, but I don’t have a passion for it. I cook because you have to eat, not because it fills my soul.
Lately, I’ve been trying to cook with him more because I know it makes him happy and I want to spend that time together. But here’s the issue whenever we cook together, he goes into full “teacher mode.” Instead of just cooking with me, he explains every single step, corrects how I’m holding a knife, tells me I’m stirring wrong, asks if I “understand why we’re doing this,” etc.
It doesn’t feel collaborative. It feels like I’m in a class I didn’t sign up for.
I know he probably thinks he’s being helpful, and I don’t think he’s trying to be condescending. But it makes me feel small. Like I’m incompetent. Like he sees me as someone who needs to be trained rather than a partner.
Because of that, I’ve started avoiding cooking with him. I’d rather just let him do it alone than feel like I’m being graded in my own kitchen.
He says he’s just trying to share something he loves and “bring me up to his level,” and that I’m being sensitive. But I don’t want to be “brought up to a level.” I just want to chop vegetables without feeling like I’m being evaluated.
So AITAH for not wanting to cook with him if it makes me feel dumb?
Image source: Busy_Demand_1936, Amina Filkins
Whether it’s because of their attachment style, the gravity of the manipulation, or other personal issues, some people find it difficult to sever toxic relationships. It’s why Munro urges taking the time to understand personal trauma and patterns.
“Someone may want to attract an open and communicative person,” she said. “However, they themselves may not be able to do so. Flipping the ‘red flag’ onto yourself may determine whether this is a personal insecurity or whether it’s a real red flag.”
#16 Aita For Fixing My Daughter’s Car When Her Boyfriend Said He’d Handle It?
My daughter (21F) and I have always been pretty close. She moved in with her boyfriend a couple months ago. It was a little tough seeing her move out but I know she’s an adult and building her own life.
She drives an old Corolla with a lot of miles on it. A couple weeks ago she mentioned the steering wheel had started shaking when she got up to highway speeds and sometimes the front end would shudder when she braked. She told me her boyfriend said he would take care of it.
Another week went by and it still hadn’t been looked at. Last weekend she came by my place and said it was getting worse and it was starting to make her nervous to drive.
So I took it for a quick drive and sure enough the wheel was shaking pretty good around 60 mph and it shuddered when I hit the brakes. I pulled the front wheels off in the driveway and it was pretty obvious the front brake rotors were warped and the brake pads were worn unevenly.
I ran to the parts store, grabbed new rotors and pads, and swapped them out that afternoon. Took a couple hours and after that the car drove smooth again.
My daughter was really happy and thanked me a bunch. To me it wasn’t a big deal. I’ve worked on cars most of my life and she’s my kid.
A few days later she and her boyfriend came over for dinner. At one point he pulled me aside and told me I shouldn’t have fixed the car. He said it was his responsibility as her boyfriend to handle that kind of thing and that by doing it myself I stepped on his toes.
I told him I wasn’t trying to prove anything. The car was getting worse and I just fixed it while she was there.
Since then he’s been pretty short with me and the vibe has been a little weird. My daughter says he feels like I undermined him.
From my point of view she’s still my daughter and if something on her car is unsafe and I can fix it in an afternoon I’m going to.
Image source: Outrageous-Jelly8777, Erik Mclean
#17 Aita For Asking My Boyfriend Why He Didn’t Come Back With My Drink?
I feel like I’m going crazy so I need outside opinions.
I went out with my boyfriend to our usual bar. We’re regulars and usually sit at the bar. There was live music and some of my friends showed up. I mentioned it and he made kind of a thing about it and was like “let’s go sit with your friends.” These are not random people, we’ve hung out with them a bunch before.
So we go sit with them and everything is fine, but then he randomly goes and sits at another table with a bunch of older guys. So I leave my friends and go sit with him because I’m like ok… I thought we were hanging out together.
Then he says he’s going to get us drinks and will be right back. So now I’m sitting there with these random guys I don’t really know waiting for him.
After a while he’s not back so I text him asking if he’s coming back, and he responds “I’m at the bar, are you blind?”
Apparently he just went and sat at the bar and started talking to other people and didn’t say anything to me.
So I had to get up and go find him, and when I asked why he didn’t come back with my drink like he said, he acted like I was being ridiculous for even asking.
I felt kind of embarrassed honestly for even having to am this at this age.
AITA for even asking him about it?
Image source: Lady_Noir921, cottonbro studio
#18 Aita For Not Giving My Partner Instructions?
Hey first time poster I think. It’s kind of annoying and I wanted to ask people’s opinions because it’s been on my mind.
So there are these instant noodles that you cook on the stove then add sauce to. My partner (M25) and I (F25) loved these so much but I noticed that he would only eat them when I decided to make them. So I stopped to see something. Then he started asking me to make them again I refused. I told him to make it himself and then he asks “how do you make it?” I say to read the instructions. He gets annoyed and says “why can’t you just tell me? Why be difficult?” Because it’s so easy???
Needless to say he didn’t make the noodles.
I feel bad because I thought maybe I was being difficult with him but if I had to read these easy ass instructions, why can’t he?? Why am I getting involved in this simple ass task? Am I the asshole?
Edited to add: He can definitely read. I’m not sure how else to prove that he’s an avid subtitle user. I also don’t make the noodles any different than from what the package says.
Edit 2: for context also he’s the one who showed me these brand of noodles, so he’s made them before. I probably started eating and buying them a month or two afterwards. Honestly I never thought of it as testing I thought of it as me seeing a pattern, stopping it and trying to see what the problem was. I could’ve been better at that. Definitely never meant it to be taken that way.
Image source: andromeda_witch, MART PRODUCTION
#19 Wibta If I Refuse To Continue Cooking For My Husband?
For context: I can cook. Just not the way my husband prefers. I cook for practicality. He cooks because food is art. We joke that I can’t cook, but in reality I can.
We just had our first baby a few months ago and my husband got called back into office after years of working from home. Two massive adjustments. My husband told me that I’ll have to start cooking dinners and I told him with time, as I had been struggling with my newborn.
Fast forward to now. I have a couple easy recipes that are quick, easy and tasty. They give us enough leftovers to last for days. The problem I have is that every single thing I make, my husband feels the need to critique. “I would do it this way”, “next time do this” – most of the time, they are preferences to his taste. They wouldn’t inherently make the dish better.
As someone who’s trying to learn how to balance everything and get more comfortable in the kitchen, it’s infuriating. I understand I’m not perfect, but waiting for the “it’s good, BUT” every time makes me not want to bother anymore.
So… WIBTA? Or am I overreacting?
ETA: I’ve brought up before how these comments are hurtful and discouraging when I’m just trying my best. Normally it stops for a bit, but eventually happens again. I don’t think this is malicious. I just think my husband is forgetful.
Image source: Pretty-Hair-4601, Andrea Piacquadio
#20 Aita For Insisting That My Spouse Takes Keys When Leaving The House?
My spouse and I have been together since we were both 20yo and are now in our mid 30s, with small children.
For as long as we’ve been together, my spouse has a habit of leaving the house without their keys. This is partly because of comfort (i.e. not having a bulky keychain in your pocket) and also because I work from home, so there is a reasonable assumption that I’ll be able to open the front door. However, there have been times when I’ve actually been out, or I was in the middle of hosting a 200-person training call, when my spouse arrived home without keys.
I’ve raised this as a concern several times over the years, but my spouse doesn’t seem to think it’s a real issue. I’ll sometimes get a “Oops, sorry!” but nothing ever changes. If I press the issue, my spouse gets annoyed or upset.
The strangest thing about this is that my spouse is extraordinarily organised and pragmatic, with an incredible memory, and has always been adamant about being independent. In contrast, I’m the forgetful disorganised one, but I always have my keys with me.
Am I in the wrong here? AITA?
NOTE: I’m deliberately omitting genders to avoid bias and presumption.
Image source: TheWouldBeMerchant, Lisa from Pexels
#21 Aitj For Breaking Up After My Boyfriend Kept “Testing” Me Instead Of Trusting Me?
I (26F) have been dating my boyfriend (29M) for about a year. He’s always had this thing where he says he’s been “burned before” and needs “proof” that I’m loyal. At first it was little stuff like joking about how I “better not” talk to other guys, but it started getting weird. He’d ask to see my phone, then say he was “just kidding” when I looked upset. He’d bring up random scenarios like “what if an old crush texted you right now?” and then watch my face like it was a pop quiz.
A few weeks ago I got a DM from a guy on Instagram who said he recognized me from “a concert last summer” and wanted to grab coffee. I don’t even go to concerts like that, so I ignored it. The messages got pushier, like “why are you being rude?” and “your boyfriend doesn’t have to know.” I blocked the account. That night my boyfriend was acting smug and kept asking if I had anything “interesting” happen today. I asked what he meant and he finally admitted it was him. He made a fake account to “see what you’d do.” He expected me to laugh and tell him how clever he was. I told him it freaked me out and he said I was overreacting becuase “you passed.”
Then this weekend he took it up another level. We were out with his friends and this woman comes over, sits way too close, and starts flirting HARD, asking if I’m single and if I want to “ditch my boring night.” I was uncomfortable but I just said, no, I’m here with my boyfriend, please stop. She smiled and walked away. His friends started laughing and clapping, and my boyfriend goes, “See? I told you she’d be loyal.” I just stared at him. He said it was a “test” his friends helped set up, and that I should be happy I “won.” I told him I’m not a dog doing tricks and I left. He’s now blowing up my phone saying I’m dramatic and that “most girls would love a guy who cares this much,” and his buddies are calling me uptight. I’m honestly feeling sick about how normal this is to them. AITJ for ending it over this?
Image source: Spock2Sulu, Polina Zimmerman
#22 Aitj For Kicking My Boyfriend Out After He Called Me Weak For Crying Over My Niece?
I (19F) was with my now ex for four years. I honestly thought we’d end up together because when we first started dating my sister had a baby girl. I adored that kid I babysat all the time and tried to be the fun aunt. My boyfriend always seemed very okay with it. My niece once made a little drawing of me and I almost cried over it.
Last year my sister (I’ll call her M) I received a call from her and she told me my niece had leukemia, my world turned upside down. I spent most of my free time at the hospital. Watching her go through treatments was heartbreaking. Because of that I wasn’t as present in my relationship and He said he understood.
On our anniversary I still managed to give him something small and he didn’t get me anything, When I brought it up he said I cared more about a kid that’s going to die anyway. That should’ve been my sign he apologized later and blamed stress and I stayed.
My niece passed last week. I’ve been crying a lot and spending time with my sister to support her a few days ago, when I came home i overheard him on the phone saying a real woman wouldn’t be crying like this unless it was her own kid. He called me dramatic and said I was too attached to a child that wasn’t mine.
That was it for me. I told him to pack his stuff and leave, he begged but I didn’t change my mind.
Now his mom and even my sister are saying he’s sorry and that I should at least consider giving him another chance. My sister asked me what my niece would’ve wanted me to do, and that really hurt to hear.
But I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel safe opening up to someone who said that about me. Am I the Jerk for ending it?
Image source: VanillaMoonlit, Liza Summer
#23 Aitah For Telling A Guy His Mom “Isn’t A Woman” To Prove His Point Was Dumb?
A guy I was talking to said, “Any woman over 130 pounds is not a woman.”
To show how ridiculous and inconsistent that is, I said, “Your mom’s 300 pounds so she’s not a woman.” (I exaggerated and said 300 because it was the first big number that popped into my head, but the point was she’s definitely over 130.)
He got mad and called me disrespectful for bringing up his mom.
I wasn’t trying to insult her or body-shame anyone. I was just applying his own rule back to him to highlight that womanhood isn’t decided by weight.
AITA? Or was this a fair way to call out a stupid generalization?
Image source: Icy_Cat2911, Tima Miroshnichenko
#24 Aitah For Not Telling My BF That I Was Playing With My Friends?
My boyfriend (22M) is super weird when it comes to me (21F) playing video games with my friends. He makes me “tell him in advance” before I play with them. He fell asleep last night and I couldn’t sleep, so I decided to play a few matches on marvel rivals.
He woke up the next morning and went through my match history (i’m assuming) and sent me a long paragraph- stating how i don’t keep promises, and that i am bad at communicating.
Here’s the first sentence of the many paragraphs he sent.
“I don’t have problem with u playing with your “friends” my issue rn is COMMUNICATION. You didn’t let me know u were playing with ur friends …im not gonna keep begging u for clarity and reassurance.”
I honestly think he is being ridiculous. I don’t believe I should have to tell him when i want to play with my friends on a console that I BOUGHT.
Would I be TA for breaking up with him?
Image source: rengokuluver, Tima Miroshnichenko
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