Navigating family relationships can be challenging under the best of circumstances, but when money enters the equation, tensions can quickly escalate. This is especially true for veterans whose hard-earned benefits sometimes become a source of conflict rather than support.
Today’s Original Poster (OP) found himself in exactly this position. After years of service and navigating the complex VA (Veterans Affairs) disability system, his growing benefits caused a disagreement with his brother who came up with an unreasonable demand.
More info: Reddit
Paying 100% of the rent while still having a roommate might sound like a bad joke, but for some, it’s a painfully real situation
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author is a U.S. Army veteran, and his brother have shared a 2-bedroom apartment for nearly four years, initially agreeing on a 60/40 rent split
Image credits: syda_productions / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Over time, his VA disability rating increased to 90% and he got a higher-paying job, prompting his brother to ask for a 70/30 rent split, which he declined
Image credits: jcomp / Freepik (not the actual photo)
With a pending appeal that could raise his rating to 100%, the brother now expects him to cover the entire rent, arguing the VA compensation is sufficient for both of them
Image credits: jtreddit702
Family members are siding with the brother, while the author is left worrying about fairness and boundaries
The OP shared that he’s a US army veteran who gets monthly compensations from the government. For nearly four years, he and his brother have shared a two-bedroom, two-bath apartment. At the beginning, they both worked full-time, but the OP, rated at 80% disability agreed to cover 60% of the rent in exchange for the master bedroom, helping his brother out financially.
Over time and after multiple appeals, the OP’s VA disability rating increased to 90%, and he also landed a higher-paying job. When the brother learned about the increased benefits, he proposed shifting the rent split to 70/30 to which the OP declined but agreed to take on the full utility bills instead.
Now, another appeal is pending, and if approved, the OP could reach a 100% disability rating which is a milestone that many veterans describe as financially stabilizing. However, now his brother is insisting that if he the appeal is approved, the OP will simply pay the entire rent. The OP refused, and the disagreement didn’t stay between them for long because the whole family got involved and largely sided with the brother.
According to them, “family looks out for each other”, but the OP couldn’t look past the entitlement. He also sought advice from another service member who advised him to say that the appeal was denied, or claim his rating was reduced. However, knowing his family, the OP feared it wouldn’t work as this has more to do with cultural expectations.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
To better understand the tension in this situation, it helps to look at what a VA disability rating actually represents. Bartlett Legal Group explains that a VA disability rating is a percentage assigned by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) to reflect how much a service-connected condition limits a veteran’s ability to function and earn a living.
The higher the percentage, the more severe the recognized impairment, and the greater the monthly compensation intended to offset those long-term physical or mental impacts. That context makes the potential jump to 100% especially meaningful. As noted by Veterans Guide, achieving a 100% disability rating is widely considered life-changing within the veteran community.
It can provide long-term financial stability and unlock additional benefits such as expanded healthcare coverage and, in many states, property tax exemptions. However, the financial shift can also alter family dynamics. Operation Family Fund points out that blurred financial expectations often create tension in families of veterans receiving 100% benefits as they are expected to shoulder more shared expenses.
Netizens expressed frustration with the brother’s expectations, emphasizing that the OP should not be pressured to cover more than his fair share. They also highlighted that his benefits are personal and earned, not a pool for family use. What do you think about this situation? Where do you draw the line between helping family and protecting your own finances? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens insisted on the author setting boundaries and protecting his personal finances, warning that giving in could create ongoing resentment
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