“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell just as sweet.” While that was a kind sentiment for Romeo to express about Juliet, I’m not quite sure he would have felt the same way if her name was Moronica or Sh’miracle…
One curious Reddit user recently asked others to share the dumbest names they have ever heard parents give their children, and people did not disappoint in the responses. Below, you’ll find a wide variety of names that prove that not everyone should become a parent, so enjoy scrolling through and counting your blessings if you have a common name!
#1
North, Saint, Chicago, Psalm.
Image source: Dubee604
#2
In my career working at Public Schools I’ve had two separate children named Tequila Mockingbird. Absolutely unrelated, across the state from each other, but it’s weird that it happened twice.
Image source: mjn73178, Katerina Holmes
#3
I knew triplets named Cinnamon, Rosemary, and Paprika. People called them “the Spice Girls.”
Image source: Upper-Job5130, rahmani KRESNA
#4
A motorcycle enthusiast named his son Harley, because that made him Harley, David’s son.
Image source: Build68
#5
Felonie. I’ve been downvoted a lot on Reddit for sharing this because people never believe it’s a real name someone would give a kid. But it is lol
Image source: FartAttack911, Annushka Ahuja
#6
I do contract-based IT work. Implementation when hospitals buy each other out, stuff like that. Last week I was working with an office manager named MORONICA.
Image source: Ko_DaBomb, ThisIsEngineering
#7
Pubert.
Image source: OrangeDied, Paramount pictures
#8
Any time I see a young girl named Nevaeh, I immediately assume she’s the unintended product of a very young single mom barely making ends meet.
Image source: TheLastNoteOfFreedom
#9
My partner is a midwife, she once looked after a couple who were intending to call their daughter “Urethra” – they didn’t know what it meant and just “liked how it sounds”.
She had to politely, professionally, give them a quick anatomy lesson.
Image source: six44seven49
#10
Wife worked in a bank. Had a regular customer named Dextrose. Always wondered if he had siblings Sucrose and Fructose.
Image source: akgt94
#11
So checking ID, I hear the girls friends calling her Olivia. It was not spelt Olivia. It was spelt Ahliviyah. Why do this to people. You make them waste so much of their lives having to spell their names for people when it could have been a spelling everyone knows!
Image source: Fun_Macaron5597
#12
Rhoshandiatellyneshiaunneveshenkescianneshaimondrischlyndasaccarnaerenquellenendrasamecashaunettethalemeicoleshiwhalhinive’onchellecaundenesheaalausondrilynnejeanetrimyranaekuesaundrilynnezekeriakenvaunetradevonneyavondalatarneskcaevontaepreonkeinesceellaviavelzadawnefriendsettajessicannelesciajoyvaelloydietteyvettesparklenesceaundrieaquenttaekatilyaevea’shauwneoraliaevaekizzieshiyjuanewandalecciannereneitheliapreciousnesceverroneccaloveliatyronevekacarrionnehenriettaescecleonpatrarutheliacharsalynnmeokcamonaeloiesalynnecsiannemerciadellesciaustillaparissalondonveshadenequamonecaalexetiozetiaquaniaenglaundneshiafrancethosharomeshaunnehawaineakowethauandavernellchishankcarlinaaddoneillesciachristondrafawndrealaotrelleoctavionnemiariasarahtashabnequckagailenaxeteshiataharadaponsadeloriakoentescacraigneckadellanierstellavonnemyiatangoneshiadianacorvettinagodtawndrashirlenescekilokoneyasharrontannamyantoniaaquinettesequioadaurilessiaquatandamerceddiamaebellecescajamesauwnneltomecapolotyoajohnyaetheodoradilcyana. The birth certificate over two feet long. The girl’s mom named her that just so she could get in the Guinness Book of World Records and get famous. I guess it worked because she has been interviewed on Oprah with her daughter and was semi well known for a while. Supposedly her daughter went and got her name legally changed as soon as she turned 18.
Image source: tommyfitzgerald
#13
Slinky…the parents both loved slinky toys, could do all kinds of things with them, so that’s what they named their little girl. It was her real name, my sister was her teacher. There should be a law against stupid parents like this.
Image source: Independent_Ad9195
#14
Jenna is not so bad, until your last name is Side.
Image source: macaroniwalk
#15
Recently saw the program from a relatives preschool graduation ceremony, all of the children’s names were listed. There was a child named Person.
Image source: nocheese4, Yan Krukau
#16
Galaxy Kitchen…..seriously it’s their daughter’s name.
Image source: LiMeBiLlY, Pixabay
#17
Kerosene. And she would always add “like the gas”. Mom was young and goth.
Image source: LadyGraceOfThePits, arvin latifi
#18
When my child was born, the people in the room next to us named their kid Pikachu.
You read that right.
Pikachu.
After the Pokemon.
Image source: cinemascifi, Alejandro Sevilla
#19
Sh’miracle.
Image source: halfwayhipster2, Kuiyibo Campos
#20
I used to work in banking, and I kid you not, I helped a woman named “Chinesegirl”
She was not, in fact, Chinese.
Image source: dovaqueenx
#21
I knew a pair of twin boys in elementary school named Freedom and Friendship.
Image source: LordBaranof, Trần Long
#22
Reality Winner.
Image source: MysteriousApple135, U.S government
#23
There was a woman who used to cut my hair named Secretia….like secretion.
Image source: Traditional_Money968, Adam Winger
#24
My wife is a teacher and she has siblings in class named Royalty and Majesty.
Image source: PhoenixMason13, Arthur Krijgsman
#25
Tyranny. The mother thought she had made it up. Said it sounded pretty. I think she spelled it Tiranni.
Image source: zeldafitzgeraldscat
#26
There is a dude in the Air Force named Dearly Beloved. S**t you not.
Image source: A_Jack_Kelly
#27
I taught ESL in China. We had a little girl whose American name was Hamburger, and a pair of Twins named Copy and Paste. To be clear, they had normal Chinese names, but these American names also appeared on their passports. Their American names were chosen because their parents like how they sounded.
Image source: SwimmerIndependent47
#28
Dracula. The parents were young meth heads and thankfully the nurses said Drake sounds much better and it’s a short version of Dracula after the boy was born.
Drake is alive and well, now 18 years old, parents quit the meth years ago, kinda still a messed up family.
Image source: Altruistic-Cut9795
#29
Lice. Pronounced “lih-say.”
Image source: Wet_Artichoke, Quỳnh Lê Mạnh
#30
Latrina. Like…why?
Image source: watch_over_me
#31
A woman at my old bank was named Coral Reef. She seemed fine with it but what were her parents thinking.
Image source: irishgypsy1960, Sora Shimazaki
#32
There was a tv show a couple years ago and the midwife was desperately trying to convince the about-to-be parents to not name their child Syphilis.
Image source: hyrulian_princess
#33
KVIIITLYN. Kaitlyn
Image source: today0012
#34
My mom used to work in a day care. One of the kids’ was named Surprise Joyous Knight.
Yes, this is true, Mrs. Knight named her kid Surprise Joyous.
Image source: Adventurous_Image793, Naomi Shi
#35
I went to gradeschool with siblings named America, Liberty, and Glory. As I’m sure anyone could guess—yes, I live in the Midwest.
Image source: Mapleberries
#36
Spatula.
Edit to add: this was told to me by an ex-brother-in-law, who worked in a hospital. He overheard a woman chasing her child down the hallway, saying “Spatula! I have two words for you: Be have!”
It was pronounced “bee hāve”, as if behave were two words.
Image source: Type2Pilot
#37
I once met a woman who named her sons Doral and Viceroy. I asked her, “like the cigarettes?” She said, “yes, those were my daddy’s favorite smokes.”
Image source: partymouthmike
#38
My uncle went to school with a Rusty Mustard.
Image source: katnerys
#39
Abcde…pronounced “ab-suh-dee.”
Image source: ExcellentBreath7760, cottonbro studio
#40
I was grading state tests in nyc and graded an 8th grader who’s name was Daddy Yankee.
Image source: pejeol
#41
Alucard. It’s “Dracula” backwards. No, I didn’t ask, but they were quick to tell me.
Image source: CalebPackmusic
#42
Pilot Inspektor.
Image source: jhl88, Red Carpet Report on Mingle Media TV
#43
I knew a Christian family once who named their first two kids Blessed and Saved, then the rest had normal names.
Image source: Hot_Frosting_559
#44
I work at a civil war site. One of the Confederate generals was named States Rights Gist. That was his actual name. States Rights.
Image source: Starkiller32
#45
Scotthew.
I worked in labor and delivery. We had a pair of stoners who couldn’t decide between Scott or Matthew, so they just merged the two.
Honestly, it’s just one of many dumb ones I encountered.
Image source: archeranne
#46
I work in a elementary school. Tesla, Success, Prosperity and Gospel (not related).
Image source: Grouchy-Insect-5240
#47
Dafinest.
Image source: Dutchess2016
#48
I was entering in the name of a newborn for a customer, when looking at the list of all the other children, I saw one child with a first name of Boy. I had to look twice, but sure enough, the child’s first name was Boy. 😖
Image source: ChileMonster505
#49
Handsome Stranger. . . Seriously. The kids legal first name was Handsome Stranger. He was named after his father.
Image source: JRice92
#50
Coworker couldn’t decide between Sarah and Cassandra so they named the baby Casarah.
Also worked with a girl named Kahlua.
Image source: fidgit17
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