Keeping right on track with our promise to deliver an article dedicated to every possible topic of puns, we present the newest addition to our list – fish puns! This time we’ve scaled it down a bit and kept only a hundred and eight puns in our fin-al cut. Hopefully, this number will make you feel less like a fish out of water upon trying to read them all! At least, that was our Ghoul. See what we are doing here? We are swimmingly adding a couple more fish puns if, by any chance, the ones supplied below just aren’t su-fish-ent enough. But, enough of this nonsense, and let’s get down to bass-ness, the clever puns below.
As you can see, there are fish puns aplenty (there are basically as many of them as there are fish in the sea), and there are myriad ways to use them. From using one while fishing for compliments to eeling one into your very business email – with a bit of creativity, you can smuggle in a fish pun anywhere! And the wordplays aren’t limited to basses and marlins at all (though there’s nothing wrong with those two); there are quite a few on sunfishes, anglers, and various types of eels, too. Although, if your favorite kind of fish didn’t make it to our list, you could always come up with a pun of your own dedicated to it.
Okay, this time for reel, enough of the belletristic – it’s time for puns! So, scroll on down below to check out the silly puns, and don’t forget to vote for the ones that tickled your fins the most. Also, be sure to share this article with your fisher friends, as they might appreciate it more than you think, and suggest their own hilarious angler for these puns.
#1
What’s the only right answer when a salmon asks you for a light?
I didn’t know you smoked, salmon.
#2
Who is the most famous fish spy?
James Pond.
#3
Surfing the net is great, unless, of course, you’re a fish.
#4
Lobsters would get along a lot better with the other shellfish if they weren’t always trying to lobster things up.
#5
What did the freshwater eel say to the salmon?
I don’t sea your point.
#6
Why can’t fish have romantic relationships?
They are scared of intima-sea.
#7
Why do fish companies never work?
They always have to scale back.
#8
What do you call a fish with a tie?
soFISHticated.
#9
Isn’t it a bit misleading to call thinly sliced raw beef carp-accio?
#10
Never try to talk to a fish before they’ve caf-fin-ated.
#11
Why do most people dislike anchovies?
Because they’re a little fishy.
#12
If Marcia Brady were a fish, what would her most famous line be?
Oh! Minnows.
#13
Why isn’t the bachelor fish married?
Because he has fin-timacy issues.
#14
When you visit your fish friends, what should you bring as a hospitality gift?
Anything but crabs.
#15
For fish astronauts, what’s the final frontier?
Trouter space.
#16
How much money does Gill Gates have?
A gillion dollars.
#17
Why did the fish get bad grades?
Because it was below sea level.
#18
What did the fish say to his girlfriend?
Your plaice or mine?
#19
What did the fish say to his girlfriend when they split up?
I’m outta this plaice!
#20
Just like the tuna fish sandwich said, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in cans-us anymore.
#21
That fish is so classy, it’s like he’s so-fish-ticated.
#22
Paci-fish-ts don’t believe in the notion of man o’ war.
#23
Cod this be any punnier?
#24
Speaking of being jelly, tunas were really miffed about the whole salmon-ella thing.
#25
When you need a handyman, which fish do you call?
The mantis shrimp because he has his own hammer and he’s always happy to use it.
#26
I’m hooked.
#27
What happens when you mix a fish and a banker?
A loan shark.
#28
Why do fish not go to war?
Because they are paci-fish-ts.
#29
What do sea monsters eat?
Fish and ships.
#30
What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market?
Good morning ladies.
#31
Tuna in next time for the funniest animal memes.
#32
If you’re going for roe-mance, then you’ll want to consider the caviar.
#33
When belugas have a lot on their mind, they’re said to be beluga-ed.
#34
How’s the calamari?
Why, it’s ex-squid-sit, thank you.
#35
You’re blushing like a catfish that’s just seen the bottom of the ocean.
#36
When another fish tries to make you think you’re cray-zy, tell them to stop bass-lighting.
#37
These days they let pretty much anyone o-fish-iate at weddings, as long as they have a certificate from the net.
#38
If you think of a betta pun, be sure to drop us a line.
#39
How does a fish know when the party’s over?
Well, it’s obvious when it’s fin-ished.
#40
Where can you find the down-and-out calamari?
On squid row.
#41
What’s the one fish that 40 percent of all Americans are afraid of?
Clownfish.
#42
Where do you put an argumentative fighting fish?
It’s in de-beta-bowl.
#43
What country can every fish trace their roots back to?
Finland.
#44
What’s the clownfish’s biggest fear?
That he’s not really all that finny.
#45
What does the bass say when the tilefish seems confused?
You’ve got that completely bass ackwards.
#46
How can you tell the blowfish has been working out?
He gets to looking extremely puff.
#47
What did the waiter say when the man complained his fish tasted funny?
Sir, did you or did you not order the clownfish?
#48
Where do fish sleep?
In the riverbed.
#49
What’s it called when a fish can’t carry a tune?
They’re tuna-deaf.
#50
How can you tell the puffer-fish had too much salt at dinner?
He’s looking blow-ted.
#51
What happens when a fish spends too much time on his computer?
There’s a risk of carp-al tunnel.
#52
How do you get an octopus to giggle?
Ten-tickles.
#53
What did the dentist say to the super-anxious shark?
Jaws relax.
#54
I’d make him walk the plankton for that.
#55
It’s a great oppor-tuna-ty!
#56
This is going to get a-trout-cious real quick.
#57
Salmon had to say it.
#58
This is a big issue a-monk fishermen.
#59
Cod that was bad, eely bad.
#60
Which fish go to heaven?
Angelfish.
#61
Why did the little boy not eat his sushi?
Because it looked too fishy.
#62
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a fish?
One is a scum-sucking scavenger; the other is just a fish.
#63
How does a school of fish keep up to date about sea life?
They listen to the current news.
#64
Why did the teenage fish get told off in school?
Because he was talking on his shell phone.
#65
Did you hear about the illiterate fisherman?
He was lost at C.
#66
Why did the fish blush?
Because the sea-weed!
#67
What’s the laziest fish in the world?
A Kipper.
#68
Why did the shopkeeper through the clams out?
They were past their shell-by-date.
#69
What makes fish terrible journalists?
They always spread hake news.
#70
Why don’t fish like basketball?
Cause they’re afraid of the net.
#71
Why did the vegan go deep-sea fishing?
Just for the halibut!
#72
Did you know the Octopus is the only fish that can squirt ink?
Just Squidding.
#73
Hey, would you mind letting minnow what you think about this one?
#74
When jellyfish act catty, it’s only because they’re jelly.
#75
That’s the thing about squids…they ink too much.
#76
Never fall in love with a blowfish. You’ll always get re-puffed.
#77
Crayfish were offended by the publication of Eat Cray Love because they felt the lack of punctuation might send the wrong message.
#78
It’s funny how fish never seem to know what you’re talking aboat.
#79
The thing salmons don’t like about tunas is everything’s a big sea-cret.
#80
What did you think of the series fin-ale?
Well, it wasn’t the bass-ed.
#81
Fish children should piscine and not heard.
#82
Have you heard the fisherman’s anthem?
Osetra can you sea by the dolphin fish bite.
#83
What’s the best way for a fish to get to Canada?
Follow the “northern pike”.
#84
Why did one fish slap the other?
To snapper out of it.
#85
How many tuna does it take to screw in a light bulb?
They don’t. They call an electric eel.
#86
What does the salmon always say at closing time?
Time to lox up.
#87
How do you know when something is fishy in the state of Denmark?
When Hamlet’s giving a speech that begins, “Tuna or not tuna, that is the question”.
#88
What does the walleye say to let you know he didn’t appreciate your last remark?
Walleye never been so insulted in my life.
#89
Why is the cost of living so affordable for a bay scallop?
They’re small, so they’re fine with living in an e-fish-ency.
#90
What did the fish husband say to the fish wife when she asked him how she looked.
You look fin honey, now stop fishing.
#91
What does telephone solicitor fish say when the person they’re calling picks up the phone?
Cod I have a moment of your time?
#92
What does the fish say when it’s had it “up to here”?
That’s the last craw.
#93
Seems a bit fishy to me.
#94
We should dolphinitely scale back on the fish puns.
#95
We, the jury, find this site gill-ty of too many fish puns.
#96
What’s this fish pun website you’ve been herring all about?
#97
Never trust unlicensed puns – always check they’re o-fish-al.
#98
Stop carping on; you’re giving me a haddock.
#99
DJ’s aren’t allowed to work at fish markets because they’re always dropping the bass.
#100
Most fish will tell you they like their food cold, and their bait a little worm.
#101
Some people don’t like fish puns, but they are kraken me up.
#102
We whaley need to stop now.
#103
Oh you’re so sofishticated.
#104
Did you hear about the fight in that restaurant?
Four fish were battered!
#105
Where do sick fish go?
To see a sturgeon.
#106
If a fish got the main role in a movie, what would it be called?
Starfish.
#107
How do you tuna fish?
Adjust their scales.
#108
How do you keep a fish from smelling?
Chop of its nose.
#109
Why did the fish blush?
Because he saw the boat’s bottom.
#110
Why did the fish get detention?
Because he was being too shellfish.
#111
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Give it ten-tickles.
#112
Where did Noah keep all of the fish?
In the multi-story carp ark.
#113
What does a fish wear to keep warm?
A shoal!
#114
Why is a fisherman so stingy?
Because his work made him sell-fish.
#115
Why do fish swim in schools?
Because they can’t walk.
#116
What fish travels 100 mph?
A motor pike.
#117
Why is it so easy to weigh a fish?
Because they have their own scales.
#118
What type of instrument do fish love to play?
A bass drum.
#119
Why did the fish start a charity?
He was reely good at findraising.
#120
Why don’t fish go into business together?
They are always sole traders.
#121
What did the fish take to work?
A b-reef-case.
#122
What type of music is best to listen to while fishing?
Something catchy!
#123
What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals?
Autotuna.
#124
Whats the best way to catch a fish?
Have some one thow it at you.
#125
How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell a whale of a tale.
#126
What does the pope eat during lent?
Holy mackerel!
#127
Well, it’s oh-fish-ial.
#128
I would make him walk the plankton for that.
#129
Perch-ance, is this seat taken?
#130
When I grow up, I want to a bass-tro-physicist.
#131
That fish is rich and famous, but she’s still Jenny from the had-dock.
#132
When your fish boss is watching, you’d better look e-fish-ent.
#133
The thing about calamari is you can never tell when it’s just squidding.
#134
When a fish meets the love of their life, they say they’ve “met the gill of my dreams”.
#135
The first book of the fish bible is called Craytion.
#136
Why did the two fish have to “take it outside”?
They were about to have a roe.
#137
Which fish has the worst haircut?
The mullet.
#138
What did the introverted snail wish for more than anything?
That he could one day come out of his shell.
#139
What did one fatty tuna say to the other?
We’re in this together, toro and toro.
#140
Why does it seem like there are never any job openings at the fish company?
They’re scaling back.
#141
Dear Cod, I laughed so hard!
#142
Any fin is possible, just don’t trout yourself.
#143
Ahh guys, you’re krilling me now.
#144
I feel great every day of the week, barramundi.
#145
Have you thought of a fish pun yet, or do you need some time to mullet over?
#146
Create your own fish pun, don’t leave it to salmon else.
#147
I’m waiting for someone else to mussel in on this now.
#148
Cod I borrow you for a few minutes?
#149
You better not, or you’ll feel my wrasse.
#150
Keep your friends close and your anemones closer.
#151
Why did the woman make tons of fish-eye soup?
Because it will see her through the week.
#152
Why will fish never take responsibility?
Because it’s always salmon else’s fault.
#153
Why do fish always lose their court cases?
They are always gill-ty.
#154
What did the salmon say when he swam into a wall?
Damn!
#155
Oh, for heavens hake.
#156
You can’t expect a squid to answer a tough question without inking about it first.
#157
Why did the fisherman stop playing violin?
Because he was all out of tuna.
#158
What did the tuna say after the job interview?
Thanks for the oppor-tuna-ty.
#159
When do fish stage an intervention for a friend?
When they’ve hit rockfish bottom.
#160
What did one fish lawyer say to the other?
My client’s going to need a minute to mullet over.
#161
Where do shrimp go for cash in a pinch?
To the prawn shop.
#162
Why do fish try to stay on the good side of their monarch?
Well, otherwise they’d be royally scrod.
#163
What does the great white shark wear under his kill-t?
Nothing because once he’s an adult, he’s no longer focused on the bottom.
#164
I won’t be cod dead participating in this.
#165
We all just need to clam down now; I’m a bit shell shocked.
#166
Why should you never fight an octopus?
Because he’s too well armed.
#167
What did the fish say when his relationship started to flounder?
Halibut we chat about it?
#168
What did the romantic fisherman want?
A gill-friend.
#169
Why are fish so smart?
They live in schools.
#170
Who do fish pray to?
Cod Almighty.
#171
What did Dorothy the fish say?
There’s no plaice like home.
#172
What did the fish say when everyone left his party?
Tanks for coming!
#173
Why did Sally go to the Lake after her brothers teased her?
To fish for compliments.
#174
Sure, but fishing for compliments is never becoming.
#175
How do shellfish take photos?
With a clam-era.
#176
When is it time for a fish to go to an eye doctor?
When they’re having trouble sea-ing.
#177
Hoping to avoid turtle disaster.
#178
You’ve met your nemo-sis.
#179
You can tune a piano, but you can’t tune a fish.
#180
Not bad, cod do better.
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