If there’s one life lesson we should all learn above all else, it’s that life is utterly unfair. And, unfortunately, there’s nothing we can do about it. Some people are born with everything, while others are deprived of everything. Some have money, fame, and universal love, while others are even born with serious health issues… Why does this happen? No one can actually answer.
The story we’re about to tell you today, first told by the user u/TarryStar, can actually evoke mixed feelings. On the one hand, someone really should be responsible for the disabled child. On the other hand, why should it be the older stepsibling, who was already treated unfairly by her parents?
More info: Reddit
Taking care of a disabled person is a huge responsibility, so it could be utterly unfair when someone tries to put that responsibility on another person’s shoulders
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The author of the post is 19 years old, and 4 years ago, her father married a lady with 2 little kids
Image credits: TarryStar
Image credits: pch.vector / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One of the author’s stepsiblings is a 9-year-old girl who is disabled – she can’t talk and can’t even feed herself
Image credits: TarryStar
Image credits: ollyy / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Recently, the author’s father and stepmom asked the author if she could overtake the responsibility of caring for her stepsister with time
Image credits: TarryStar
The author’s answer was a flat-out “No,” and she even reminded the disappointed dad about his recent attempt to steal from her savings
So, the Original Poster (OP) is now 19 years old, and four years ago, her dad married her stepmom, “Bea,” a mom of two kids, “Kayley” and “Jace,” then aged 5 and 2, respectively. Unfortunately, Kayley is seriously disabled; she can’t talk, can’t feed herself, has tubes attached, and is extremely fragile. Both parents try to provide her with proper care, but they recently wondered what would happen when they themselves get old.
Jace is still too young, so the author has been chosen by the parents as the primary caregiver. At the same time, she admits that she neither considers Bea her mother (even though her biological mom hasn’t been in the picture since her very birth), nor considers Kayley and Jace her siblings. The OP lives independently, has a job, and has no intention of shouldering this burden.
In response to her father’s reproaches, our heroine reminded him of how he tried to use the savings the OP’s grandparents had given her to cover Kayley’s medical needs. And when the grandparents refused, he tried to blackmail them by threatening to forbid them from seeing their granddaughter altogether. And so, with mutual recriminations, the conversation ended.
After some time, Bea called the author back and asked if she had changed her mind. Receiving another negative response, the stepmom lashed out at the author with accusations and outright insults, claiming that her dad would never do anything good for her again. The OP again reminded him of how he had tried to steal from her and he hung up. And so, the teen decided to take this online – just to vent about it.
Image credits: nensuria / Freepik (not the actual photo)
It should be noted that there are two angles to this situation: legal and moral. While from a legal perspective, the original poster is under no obligation to be a caregiver for her stepsibling, from a moral perspective, the viewpoints may differ. Experts, in particular, note that even biological siblings are not legally obligated to take care of one another.
“The sister has no legal requirement to do so, but she may feel a moral obligation depending on the alternatives,” this dedicated post on ElderLawAnswers claims. Regardless, caring for any disabled person is a huge responsibility, and it falls primarily on parents.
“Making personal and financial decisions for someone else is an enormous responsibility,” this article on the Special Needs Alliance web portal says. Anyway, it’s worth remembering that a significant portion of parental attention in raising children is inevitably devoted to the disabled sibling, so the other kids in the family may experience mental problems because of this, the article adds.
Regarding our story, most commenters sided with the OP, although they noted that her flat-out refusal may seem cruel. However, in any case, her father’s attempt to steal from her is far more wrong and inappropriate, the responders are pretty much sure. So what’s your opinion on this case? Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.
The commenters’ views were very divided, but most of them supported the teen and agreed that it was her parents’ responsibility, not hers
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