Between endless news about wars and protests, it is easy to feel like life has never been worse. But today’s headlines feel uncomfortably familiar when you look at history’s nastiest, most selfish moments.
For example, invaders capturing land without any provocation. Remind you of someone from today? Or American engineer Thomas Midgley, who knew putting lead in gasoline was a jerk move but did it anyway for money. His inventions caused widespread lead pollution and significant damage to our ozone layer. Today’s billionaires seem to have definitely taken a leaf out of his book.
Recently, internet users started trading stories about the worst and most selfish acts in human history. We gathered the infuriating and occasionally absurd ones — because if we are doomed to repeat the past, we might as well roll our eyes at it together.
#1
France asking Haiti for a compensation after Haiti overthrew the colonial administration. It took 143 years for Haiti to pay off that debt.
Image source: anon, Bailey Torres / Unsplash
#2
Russia telling Ukraine to give up their nukes for peaceful independence only for Russia to take back Crimea a couple decades later.
Image source: anon, Matti Karstedt / Pexels
#3
Opium wars were pretty d**kish. You don’t wanna buy hard d***s from us and turn your population into useless a***cts? Fine, we’ll invade you and bombard your cities until you start buying!
Image source: Changoq, wr heustis / Pexels
When we try to explain modern cruelty, we often say we are acting like “savages” or returning to the “Stone Age.” The popular story goes that our ancient ancestors lived in constant conflict driven by starvation and the total absence of laws.
Except research tells a completely different story.
When archaeologists look at the actual physical evidence from the Paleolithic era, they do find signs of violence — mostly tied to ceremonial cannibalism or isolated, personal fights. What they do not find is war. There is virtually no evidence that early human groups gathered to systematically slaughter one another.
Instead, for hundreds of thousands of years, humans managed to live without mass warfare. Early populations were tiny, food was abundant, and groups moved freely across open land. Society was largely egalitarian, meaning no ambitious kings or warlords existed to order armies into combat.
#4
Thomas Midgley invented freon and putting lead into gasoline. He knew that putting lead into gasoline was a d**k move and he did it anyway for money. He knew because he got lead poisoning himself and still lied about its effects on people.
Environmental historians have said that he has had the single largest impact on the Earth’s atmosphere of any single organism in the history of the planet.
Not to mention that lead levels directly correspond to lower cognitive abilities in the general population and you can look up the dates to know who would have been affected.
Image source: Mordanzibel, the Science History Institute / Wikipedia
#5
So the story goes that there’s this people in southern Iraq who’s agriculture, economy and way of living were built around them living within the swamps. They were not very fond of Saddam Hussein and his regime and did a protest march towards Baghdad. So meanwhile they moved towards the capital, Saddam took some excavators and drained the whole swamp.
Problem solved.
Image source: TheFinalResolution, حسن / Unsplash
#6
ISIS and/or whatever Muslim or Asian group in power, going through ancient temples and destroying millennia old Statues and works of art simply because they represent a different philosophy.
The thought of destroying some 2000 year old statue just because I don’t believe in their philosophy is beyond criminal to me, it is a crime against all of humanity. I mean, who the f**k are you to think you are so important you can destroy something so valuable?
EDIT: My apologies, didn’t mean to single out Muslims or infer ISIS is synonymous with all Muslims. The only examples that came to mind for me were the Middle East and Asia since so much has been destroyed there. I will freely acknowledge Christians have also done their share of this b******t as well. And I saw the Australian example that happened just this decade. Man, we f*****g humans suck.
Image source: Anon, Max Harlynking / Unsplash
Survival for early hunter-gatherers was a team sport. Small bands depended entirely on cooperation, sharing food, and sticking together just to stay alive and raise the next generation.
The image of the club-wielding, bloodthirsty caveman is actually a modern fiction. Thinkers and artists in the 19th and 20th centuries essentially invented the “savage prehistoric human” myth to brag about how much civilization had improved humanity.
Studies show that the real shift toward widespread conflict came during the Neolithic period — the moment humans stopped roaming and settled down.
#7
Whoever decided that healthcare should be for profit.
Image source: sweet_chick283, Kerim Eveyik / Pexels
#8
When the Mexican government rounded up thousands of Yaqui natives, made them walk over 300 km to the coast, put then on boats, and sold them as s**ves for about 25 cents. Most ended up on plantations in Veracruz where they were worked to d***h. S**very was already illegal in Mexico at the time.
Image source: vaishuallinone, Thato Moiketsi / Pexels
#9
Probably when they relocated Rasputin’s shlong from his body to that jar.
Image source: BootShapedMcNugget, Unknown author / Wikipedia
As the climate warmed, people began farming, breeding livestock, and hoarding extra food. Populations spiked, permanent towns formed, and powerful ruling classes emerged. Suddenly, groups had valuable land and resources to defend — and strongmen eager to grab more.
It turns out large-scale violence didn’t start with primitive instincts. It started when humans created stuff worth fighting over.
“Violence is not inscribed in our genes. Its appearance has historical and social causes – the concept of ‘primordial (original) violence’ is a myth. War is therefore not inseparable from the human condition, but is the product of societies, and the cultures it generates,” says Marylène Patou-Mathis, a research director at the French National Centre for Scientific Research.
#10
Those m***********s evolving to suck mammal blood and now we got to worry about mosquitos, leeches, ticks, etc.
Image source: OnionMesh, Shyamli Kashyap / Pexels
#11
Around the formation of the Persian empire:
Herodotus tells the story how King Astyages, the last king of Media, had a dream that his daughter would give birth to a king who would overthrow him. So he orders his General Harpagus to k**l the child at birth. Harpagus doesn’t want to k**l the baby/spill royal blood, so he gives the child (Cyrus) to a shepherd to raise.
Ten years later Cyrus is discovered alive. King Astyages fakes being happy that the kid is alive, suggesting he always regretted issuing that order. To celebrate he plans a feast and tells Harpagus to send his son over to play with Cyrus.
During the banquet, King Astyages has the son of Harpagus k****d, cooked, and fed to Harpagus. When the act was revealed, it is said that Harpagus did not react other than to gather the pieces of his son and remove them for burial.
Harpagus bides his time.
Much later, Cyrus is gathering forces against King Astyages. Astyages orders Harpagus, as his primary general, to lead the army against Cyrus. After a three-day battle, Harpagus took his revenge for the d***h of his son by turning on the battlefield in favor of Cyrus, resulting in Astyages’ defeat and the formation of the Persian Empire.
Image source: beltenebros, Maximilien de Haese, Jac. van der Borght / Wikipedia
#12
That time a fish evolved legs and crawled out of the ocean. Things just went downhill from there.
Image source: Bobik8, Anshu Kumar
To turn mass violence into a tool of policy, society had to invent something beyond ownership, borders, and wealth: a mechanism that allows ordinary humans to harm each other without remorse.
That psychological engine is dehumanization.
Before people can systematically destroy another group, they must first convince themselves that their targets are not truly human. History shows a chillingly consistent pattern of how this works. During the Holocaust, Nazi propaganda systematically labeled Jewish people as “rats.” Before the 1994 genocide in Rwanda, Hutu radio broadcasts repeatedly branded Tutsis as “cockroaches.”
#13
Before 1965 Indonesian Government sent academicians, especially STEM graduates to study in Eastern Europe. After the supposed communist uprising in 30th September 1965 the government revoked their citizenship and declared them stateless. They risked persecution and possible t*****e and m****r if they insist on returning. These nuclear physicist, master engineer, and PhD graduates take menial jobs, becoming janitors and wait tables to carry on living with virtually no possibility of return to their country.
Image source: ilhamalfatihah16, Phạm Trần Hoàn Thịnh / Unsplash
#14
The original White Elephant gifting from the King of Siam. This person would give this royal gift to people he found irritating and be entertained by the recipient’s failing efforts to upkeep such an animal.
Why don’t they just give it away you ask?
Back in the day, receiving a gift and giving it away was perceived as an insult. Go figure. And giving away a gift from a neighboring kingdom is, well, that much BIGGER of an insult. So no dice.
Economies apparently have failed in order to upkeep a royal gift like this. Honestly, d**k move King of Siam.
EDIT:
I’m seeing some comments about giving away the elephant, k*****g it, or letting it d*e so I’m going to clarify something.
If you are given a gift, out of respect you take care of that gift because failing to do so would be taken as an insult from the gifting party. The King of Siam knew this and, for his pleasure, gave his opposing neighbors this annoyance of an animal; an ultimatum. Either fulfill the upkeep of this economy sucking, worthless elephant or I come invade your kingdom and s***ghter you and your people. Being as powerful as he seemed to be, he probably sent delegations to these provinces to ensure the elephant was still around for years to come.
LPT: Keep that elephant alive.
Image source: 7113dEv, Van-Es Flores / Pexels
#15
Ray Kroc stealing McDonalds out from under the brothers and not even paying them royalties.
Image source: anon, Eddie O. / Unsplash
Dehumanization is not a recent tactic. Traces of this rhetoric appear in the earliest surviving writings of ancient Mesopotamia, Egypt, and China, where conquerors described their enemies as subhuman.
In his book ‘Less Than Human,’ philosopher David Livingstone Smith notes that understanding this mental shift is critical to preventing future atrocities. It goes far deeper than insulting language or dramatic metaphors. “When people dehumanize others, they actually conceive of them as subhuman creatures. Only then can the process liberate aggression and exclude the target of aggression from the moral community,” he says.
Resource hoarding during the Neolithic era might have created the first reasons to fight, but dehumanization provided the moral permission. This proves once again that cruelty on a grand scale is not an ancient instinct, but a carefully constructed social invention.
#16
That lady who stole the unborn baby out the other lady.
Image source: toodadooo, Ron Lach / Pexels
#17
When a British officer was talking to Robert Surcouf, he said “We British fight for honor, you French fight only for gain!” To which Surcouf replied saying “You are quite right, each fights for that which he does not possess.”
Image source: Corleone_Michael, Joe Ambrogio / Pexels
#18
When god told Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac, and right when Isaac was begging for his life and his dad was about to drive a knife into his chest, god said “PSYCH!!!! I got you good bro, k**l that ram over there instead.”.
Image source: Nemo1ner, Caravaggio / Wikipedia
At the root of almost every historical betrayal, land grab, or selfish act is a far simpler trait: unchecked self-interest. In the 1600s, English philosopher Thomas Hobbes famously argued that self-interest is the most fundamental human motivation. But that is only half the story.
Modern research reveals that human behavior is rarely so one-dimensional — we are driven just as much by altruism, empathy, and deep moral considerations as we are by personal gain.
So what makes certain individuals cross the line into total selfishness? According to experts, a big piece of the puzzle lies in emotional intelligence.
“Emotional intelligence exists on a spectrum, and some individuals are higher in emotional intelligence than others. One symptom of low emotional intelligence is the tendency to be self-absorbed, or exclusively concerned about what you’re thinking, feeling, needing and wanting, instead of the thoughts, feelings, needs and desires of others,” explains Psychologist Lisa Marie Bobby.
#19
The burning of the library of Alexandria.
Image source: anon, Alex Azabache / Unsplash
#20
Trojan Horse.
Image source: nunped, Zeki Okur / Unsplash
#21
The Japanese believed it would have been dishonorable to surprise attack an unexpecting enemy, so they sent a declaration of war to the US 30 minutes before the Pearl Harbor attack. However, the upper military brass delayed that message until 20 minutes after the attack had begun.
D**k move to both sides of the conflict there.
Edit: I meant the Japanese upper brass delayed the message, not the US one. The US was caught completely off guard as they were expecting sabatoge, not a full scale offensive.
Image source: The_Presitator, Curtis Reese / Unsplash
History is littered with shocking acts of greed, but research shows that cooperation, not conflict, is what actually allowed humans to survive and thrive. We are not genetically programmed for endless cruelty. Instead, our greatest superpower as a species has always been our ability to work together, share resources, and protect one another.
Yet, as these historical stories prove, our capacity for cooperation comes with a dark counterpart. Recognizing these patterns is our best defense against repeating them. These stories also show us just how quickly individual greed can become a collective tragedy when power goes unchecked.
#22
Mao Zedong’s Cultural Revolution. Basically Mao’s return to power after the failure of the Great Leap Forward and an opportunity to purge political rivals. The Cultural Revolution is estimated to have k****d another 20 million, on top of the 30 million from the famine that followed the Great Leap Forward.
Image source: dominiquec, Chen Zhengqing / Wikipedia
#23
I always thought the Fed putting Andrew Jackson on the $20 felt like a big “F**k you” since he hated the idea of a centralized bank.
Image source: otiswrath, Elsa Olofsson / Unsplash
#24
Brutus pretending to be Cesars best friend and then literally st**bing him in the back.
Image source: PerPuroCaso, Vincenzo Camuccini / Wikipedia
#25
Phillip of Macedonia threatened the Spartans “If I invade Lakonia, you will be destroyed and never rise again”
The Spartans replied with “If”.
Image source: BarkingMad14, Ellis, Edward Sylvester, Horne, Charles F. / Wikipedia
#26
Having an oversees girlfriend, haven’t been able to meet for 8 months, being desperate to be reunited during corona only to find out to see her getting engaged with another dude
Edit: Thanks all for the support and thanks for the rewards! As you might suspect, I’m absolutely devastated by this but I’ll also get over it in time.
Image source: The_Schnaffle, Ron Lach / Pexels
#27
Making the woman who had HER LABIA MELTED TOGETHER due to McDonald’s not wanting give people refills, look like a thieving b***h because she was in the right and ONLY WANTED HER MEDICAL BILLS PAID .
Image source: NekoNegra, Erik Mclean / Pexels
#28
Late, but forcing Alan Turing to take hormones to “cure” his homosexuality. That’s horrible in general, but especially after all his help in cracking intercepted messages during WWII and helped the allies defeat the n*zis.
Image source: Kelpiesterrifyme, Unknown author / Wikipedia
#29
The White American conquest over the native populations is probably a strong contender.
A large majority of Native American tribes were quite welcoming of newcomers in need. There’s an entire holiday about being thankful for the kindness and the generosity of the Native Americans.
In return, they were gifted with smallpox and other lethal diseases, had every one of their treaties ignored (and were wiped out whenever they tried to complain about it), had their primary prey species deliberately hunted to extinction, had their culture reduced to primitive shamanism and a few totemic symbols, and those that weren’t k****d outright were forcibly marched across the continent to poorer land in an even known as the f*****g *Trail of Tears*.
Image source: TheGentlemanDM, Boston Public Library / Unsplash
#30
In terms of deaths, several seemingly simple events triggered WW1. That’s 40M deaths that a sandwich sale or an auto mechanic, or even a grandma could have averted. (Many world leaders were related, and several said if their grandmother was still alive she would have put a stop to it before it spread.) WW1 lead to WW2.
China’s Great Leap Forward had about 30M direct deaths and another 20M or so indirect deaths.
On smaller scales, history is littered with betrayal and intrigue. Who knows what treasures were lost, and what discoveries and inventions we don’t have because of them. Do we not have flying cars and hover boards due to some greedy jerk? Was world peace and global lives of ease lost because somebody made a d**k move? We may never know.
Image source: rabid_briefcase, Valleluce / Unsplash
#31
Mother Theresa made children suffer because she thought suffering was more Christlike than healing.
Image source: anon
#32
Calling the potato genocide the potato famine, there was enough food, they just didnt want any of it going to the Irish.
Image source: dingdongdudah
#33
Executive Order 9066. When the US put US citizens in camps. Japanese Amercians had homes, business all taken away so they could be shipped off to camps out in the middle of nowhere.
Image source: zippeduppup
#34
Tuskegee Syphilis Study, besides the horrible study and the ethics violations, it has created a horrible distrust by minorities of any health program that could be helpful to the community.
Image source: jorhey14
#35
The burning of the library of Alexandria.
Image source: derger11
#36
The repatriation of Eastern European pilots who fought for the RAF during the Battle of Britain. Straight into Stalin’s tender grasp.
Image source: Edgy_McEdgyFace
#37
Andrew Jackson disregarding the Supreme Court and starting the trail of tears.
Image source: Ellietoomuch
#38
Alan Turing was a British mathmatecian who solved the German code language and effectively ended the war. But he was a homosexual, so he got no credit. He was chemically castrated by the British government and k****d himself alone in his apartment.
There are all kinds of stories like this. One time a gay man saved US president Gerald Ford from being shot in the 70s. Literally wrestled the gun away from a woman. His name was Oliver Sipple. If he was striaght, everyone would know his name. He’d have become a super star. He was a freaking former marine. How much more of an American hero can you be? But the media caught wind that he frequented gay bars and outed him. Like many gay men in the ‘70s, Sipple was in the closet. His mother learned about his sexuality in the news and then disowned him. President Ford made sure to not invite him to the white house or publically praise him, instead sending him a 4 sentence letter thanking him.
Luckily there is a happy ending to that one though. Sipple got 15 MILLION dollars from the San Francisco Chrinicle for outing him as gay in a huge legal case.
Image source: anon
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