Alcohol and good decisions famously don’t mix well. But at the very least, their messy relationship tends to produce some truly entertaining stories.
Internet personality Ryan Maxwell has been gathering people’s wildest and worst drunk moments and sharing them with the world. The results range from painfully awkward to laugh-out-loud funny—so much so, you might just feel grateful they didn’t happen to you.
Scroll down for a dose of secondhand chaos, and remember: please drink responsibly.
#1
Lost my keys, called a 24hr locksmith at 2am to get into my apartment, and then hooked up with the locksmith.
Image source: ann, photovs / Envato
#2
I walked up to the police, asked if they REALLY were man’s best friend and once they confirmed asked them to bring me home. They actually did.
Image source: stepperdestep, BrianAJackson / Envato
#3
I watched the entire Titanic movie on mute and cried because I thought I was deaf.
Image source: cultofsimba, borodai / Envato
#4
Instead of ordering an Uber to go home I signed up to be an Uber driver. I don’t even have a license.
Image source: dragonslayer1954, YuriArcursPeopleimages / Envato
#5
Got drunk at my friend’s house and accidentally got into his parents bed with them.
Image source: courtneymason220, NomadSoul1 / Envato
#6
Ubered myself to my ex’s house without permission and he came home from work and I was just in his bed.
Image source: lena, s_kawee / Envato
#7
I thought I was Meredith grey and kept telling everyone about med school (never I been) and people started to think I had schizophrenia.
Image source: Ponies1982, zamrznutitonovi / Envato
#8
I found a tire in the parking lot of my apartment complex, I carried it to my neighbors door, knocked, and rolled it in when they opened the door and ran.
Image source: gibs, Satura_ / Envato
#9
I traded my phone for a panini. They didn’t ask for my phone… Or literally anything in return.. But I insisted. I woke up with an unwrapped panini in my purse the next day. I never took a single bite out of it.
Image source: kyleeturzinski, jdvolcan / Envato
#10
Screamed across the bar at a 50 yr old man calling him an outfit repeater bc I had seen him the weekend before in the same outfit
Image source: emily, Nereid Ndreu / Unsplash
#11
Drunk texted my pastor.
Image source: residentfangirl, seventyfourimages / Envato
#12
I got drunk at a friend’s house and passed out and on the way back from the bathroom thought I was in my house and proceeded to climb over her husband and got in to bed with them both on their anniversary weekend.
Image source: rachel Mc, Getty Images
#13
Went for a wee while at a friend’s house, came back down and he said “where you been?” Turns out I’d left the flat, gone upstairs to a different flat, and used their bathroom.
Samantha Tomori:
I can’t stop laughing.
OP:
already used his toilet several times that night. I did wonder why there were loads of women’s knickers and clothes scattered around my single male friend’s bathroom floor
Image source: louise, tabitha turner
#14
About two days after getting wasted I received a black and white wig, a day later, a black dress, then a polka dot fur coat. Apparently I thought I needed a cruella de vil costume in July
Image source: Antonia Humphrey, ting-en
#15
I stole a big hay bale they used for seats outside a bar, then dropped it off on my bosses porch with a note saying “just wanted to say hay”
Image source: Sarah
#16
Drunk kissed my toilet seat and called it my only best friend while I was going through a breakup and sent a video of me doing this to him to show I’ve moved on.
Image source: shreyxonlyfans, gpointstudio / Envato
#17
Called my grandma at midnight to yell/sing happy birthday. Half the bar sang with me. It was not her birthday.
Image source: Ann
#18
I unloaded my dishes from the dishwasher into the refrigerator
Image source: Stephanie
#19
I ate an entire box of chicken wings and then cried and accused my own own reflection of eating them all bc I didn’t realise it was me in the mirror (don’t ask).
Image source: rasbrrie, Farknot / Envato
#20
Walked into my neighbors LIVING ROOM (uninvited) to say hi because I noticed that their lights were still on. On a Monday night.
Image source: aurora, dmitrytph / Envato
#21
Locked myself in a bathroom drunk Instagram DM’d an old situationship telling him it was going to be us in the end and he responded saying “no it won’t be” and blocked me.
Image source: liv, gpointstudio / Envato
#22
Walked into a wrong house after a house party and started rooting through their fridge. They caught me eating a block of cheese before they threw me out.
Image source: aj1011, Toa Heftiba
#23
Halloween night out called the police to report someone breaking into my house, found out the next day it was me that climbed through my window after losing my keys and had a voicemail to attend.
The station on Monday morning for wasting police time 🤦♂️🤦♂️
Image source: McBinYaBass, Ahmet Kurt
#24
I ordered a patio table & chairs. I was so proud of how cheap it was! When it arrived it was a kids’ toy set. My son used it for his Littlest Pet Shop toys.
Image source: Catarina10, leo lei
#25
My drunk friend was MC on a cruise wedding and woke up in the bridal suite in between the couple.
Image source: LJ, Meg von Haartman
#26
Took an Uber home and started singing the star spangled banner at the top of my lungs while making the driver put it hand over his heart. Then ordered an applause.
Image source: Brooklynn Box, Kovina Đurić
#27
I almost missed my own wedding.
Image source: Kendra, Gabor Szucs
#28
My friend and her boyfriend were doing the nasty and I crawled on the floor in the dark and grabbed his foot.
Image source: strawbabl 3
#29
Dropped a homeless person at ex’s place
Image source: affyyy777
#30
i saw a fox on the walk back from the pub and decided to go up to it, i didn’t know the fox had pups behind it so it hissed at me and starting chasing after me so at 4am i was full on sprinting away
Image source: anon
#31
Jumped out of a moving car because I was being forced to go home.
Image source: sandra, Jayson Hinrichsen
#32
I just moved to an apartment complex and I was trying to unlock my door at 10 pm, the key wasn’t working. After about 5 mins, a lady opened the door wondering why I was trying to break in to her apt.
Image source: Zani, Parker Coffman
#33
I used to get drunk and swap my neighbor’s porch furniture with the other neighbor. Then they got Ring
Image source: inagotadavita, Caique Morais
#34
After a night out & walking to my car saw a stray cat i went to rescue it, 2 feet away noticed it was a porcupine and raised its quills to attack. Rolled my ankle running away.
Image source: Evie E, MTPokitz
#35
Washed my eyes with vodka to convince my dad it’s water.
Image source: anushreee.guptaa, Behrooz
#36
I cried during Magic Mike because the dancing was beautiful.
Image source: CountrvCutie
#37
Called the cops on myself … Because I thought I was being kidnapped but it was just my friend driving me home
Image source: niecyy_28_
#38
Tried to run from the cops. They weren’t even after me, they were after my dad.
Image source: NikkiDerringer
#39
I let a random man help me put my shoes back on after leaving the bar (i have no idea how they got off) and then he tried to kidnap me and my friend had to save me bc I was letting him
Image source: Flagchess
#40
Drunk ordered a blonde wig off tiktok shop
Image source: Katy
#41
I got on the wrong train and as I was getting off grabbed somebody else’s hold all and ended up 30 miles away from home with a bag full of jockstraps
Image source: VikkiLou
#42
drunk text my housing officer to see if they were on the sesh
Image source: Ross Stewart
#43
My friend an I were drunk and trying to see mars through a telescope…we wondered why couldn’t see anything then realized the lense cover was still on! Then fell over the chairs of laughter
Image source: cynthiasmith5235
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