At some point in every long term relationship, both parties are going to have to decide how they handle money. It’s sometimes uncomfortable, it’s an easy way to get into a fight, but it’s an element of life that has to be managed.
A woman’s boyfriend suggested she move in with her to save money, but she decided to renew her lease because she liked her rather fancy apartment. This predictably created tension in the relationship so she went online to get some suggestions from the internet. Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with clinical psychologist Stephanie Sorensen, PsyD, who kindly agreed to tell us more about couples moving in to save money.
To save money, some couples may consider moving in together
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / envato (not the actual photo)
However, this woman refused to give up her luxury lifestyle and even expected her boyfriend to pay for it
Image credits: Max Vakhtbovycn / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: throwRa_ript
“Saving money is a common motivator for moving in sooner than usual, especially in a high-cost-of-living city”
Image credits: karandaev / envato
A person living alone who wants to reduce living expenses might find it tempting to move in with their partner. Together, they save on higher costs like rent and utilities and can also decide to evenly split internet, streaming subscriptions, furniture, and food expenses, pinching pennies even more.
A Realtor.com survey revealed that 80% of Gen Z and 76% of Millennial respondents were largely motivated to cohabitate with their significant other because of money and logistics. 56% of Gen Z and 44% of Boomers agreed with this as well.
The larger part of participants admitted to saving up to $500 a month, while 20% said anywhere between $500 and $1,000. However, 42% said that they regretted making this decision. Reasons for it included feeling rushed into it, realizing they weren’t compatible, and that living together made it harder to separate.
“Saving money is a common motivator for moving in sooner than usual, especially in a high-cost-of-living city (such as New York City, where I’m based),” says clinical psychologist Stephanie Sorensen, PsyD, to Bored Panda. “I’ve seen a neutral-to-positive effect for couples who are feeling squeezed financially—money issues are one of life’s major stressors, and it can positively impact mood to relieve that pressure.”
Couples should be capable of successfully resolving conflict to make cohabitation work
Image credits: djoronimo / envato (not the actual photo)
Even though moving in with a romantic partner might reduce financial worries and bring the couple closer together, it can negatively affect the relationship if it happens too soon. “Are you ready to add in the day-to-day negotiation of the unromantic logistics of how often to clean the toilet and where it’s acceptable to clip your toenails?” asks Sorensen.
“These daily intimacies can deepen closeness in a relationship, but if navigating a high volume of these little points of friction comes in too early in the relationship, they can deprive couples of that beautiful, mysterious, idealizing phase–a time to be savored and which can serve the couple as a point of recall and shared point of positive reference long afterward.”
So how does one know if moving in with their partner is the right thing to do without being blinded by the idea of saving some bucks? Sorensen says that if couples can successfully work through conflicts, then they’re in an emotionally mature relationship to be capable of making cohabitation work.
“This means hearing the other person’s perspective, sharing their own feelings as honestly and vulnerably as possible, and finding that each person is capable of giving the other the advantage on the issues that matter most to them (rather than seeing it as a power struggle with a win-lose outcome).”
Sorensen concludes by saying, “Moving in is an exciting step, and it’s important to take a moment to take stock of your own readiness to be with your partner in a much more bounded environment. Planning for and communicating your own needs for solitude, as well as strong lifestyle preferences such as a sleep schedule or the desire to maintain certain social commitments with friends, can go a long way in facilitating a smooth transition.”
Readers sided with the boyfriend in the comments
After some time, the author came back with an update
Image credits: throwRa_ript
Readers further accused the woman of using her boyfriend
Follow Us
