We’re supposed to be on our best behavior at work. Show up on time, act professionally and do your best to ensure that you don’t lose that stable paycheck. But we all have bad days sometimes, and when they strike, we might find it incredibly difficult to keep it together while on the clock.
Redditors have recently been sharing stories of the wildest things they’ve ever witnessed in the workplace. From employees exhibiting unhinged behavior to team members failing to mute themselves during important meetings, this list is full of shocking and facepalm-worthy tales. So enjoy reading through these stories that might make your own office seem incredibly boring, and be sure to upvote the ones that you find most amusing!
#1
In a creche/daycare. One of the moms dropped off her baby & when handing him to one of the staff she kissed the staff member on the face and said “love you” and went off to work. Phoned a couple hours later to say “I’ve just realised what I did this morning. I’m so sorry, I was half asleep and I guess I’m so used to handing him to my husband” we had a good laugh.
Image source: Ajoc27, The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik
#2
I work in an office and thought it would be funny to put googly eyes on my coworkers desk one day. Everyone had a good laugh over it and a couple weeks I found googly eyes on all my stuff. It became a game of who could arrange googlys on peoples desk in the most creative/funny manner. It was hilarious..
Then one of the adjacent departments caught wind of the good times we were having and started doing the same. Cue a month later and there are f*****g googly eyes EVERYWHERE. It was absurd. On the drinking fountains, clocks, vending machines, garbage cans, toilets, you name it, there were googly eyes littered all over the g*****n place. The custodians started complaining that they couldnt keep up with the mess. Visiting customers would look around at the googly spectacle in disbelief of the unprofessionalism. The head managers had to hold team meetings to talk to all the teams about removing all googly eyes.. and of course since I started it, any time a rogue googly eye popped up months later, I got a stern look from my boss.
The day that I quit there (or get fired, more likely), there will be an unleashing of googly eyes that will be unrivalled. People will be f*****g *swimming* through piles of googly eyes just to get to their completely googly eye covered desks. The vents will be spitting out plastic eyeballs of all shapes and sizes. People will open their lunches they brought from home and gasp in shock as they find nothing but little beady shaky eyes looking up from their tupperware. There. Will. Be. GOOGLY EYES.
Image source: Jaydeeem89, romana klee / flickr
#3
I watched the neighbor get caught by her husband mid-cheat. This was the last home hospice job I did. The clients bedroom was at the back of the house and had a large window that faced the front of the neighbors across a dirt road. We were sitting mid morning drinking a cups and watching the birds in the low hedge when we saw a naked man suddenly sprint across the side yard into the old garage followed by the just as naked wife and a few seconds later the husband. Lot of screaming follows then the naked man took off across the field and disappeared into the orchard. Several minutes pass before we see the wife dash over to her car, still naked, get in and drive off.
My client, who was quite a spitfire of a lady her entire life, turned to me very deadpan and said “I’m glad I lived long enough to see *that*”. We didn’t stop laughing the rest of the day.
Image source: DeadSheepLane, The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik
#4
A deer ran into the office through a fire door that had been left open. Didn’t understand why it couldn’t get back outside through any of the industrial strength glass walls. It was distracted from butting the glass by the MD obliviously strolling in to see what the noise was about, and promptly decided that the MD was its arch enemy and needed to be defeated.
Utter chaos ensued.
I didn’t know the man had it in him to move so fast. He eventually ran into the server room to escape it and phoned over to beg some of the warehouse guys for help, they managed to herd the deer back outside.
It’s since became our office legend.
Image source: Comcernedthrowaway, EyeEm / freepik
#5
Teams. I was giving a presentation about my findings to a large group (30+ people) when my cat came in with a pigeon and released it in the room. I excused myself and turned off the camera but forgot to turn off the microphone. Everyone stayed deathly quiet for the ordeal…
Now I don’t swear at work, I’ll drop “gosh darn it” “ruddy”. That’s it. But trying to catch that bird while keeping my cat away from it and then releasing it on the balcony had me swearing like a right sailor.
When I turned the camera back on everyone burst out laughing.
It will forever be “the bird fiasco”.
Image source: Particular-Cow-3353, EyeEm / freepik
#6
This was when I was in high school working at round table pizza. We had some cool assistant managers that once the closing duties were finished they’d let us hit the beer taps. One of the morning guys that made dough was kinda creepy and let it be known that there was a hole over the toilet in the women’s rest room. This was pretty far back from the platform in the attic that supplies were stored so you would have to be on the rafters only. One night one of the cute asst managers went to the restroom and like 3 or 4 guys hauled a*s up to the attic to try to get a peep (gross, I never did). Well one of the idiots fell thru the ceiling and Into the stall with the asst manager. Idiot who fell and 2 other guys that were up there got fired on the spot.
Image source: hazydaz, Miriam Alonso / pexels
#7
This lady brought her goat to HR party, it ate the salad bar then her boyfriend (came *with* the goat) passed out drunk in the cheesecake. Nobody said anything ever 🥱
Image source: NorthHoustonPrepTX, freepik
#8
I was visiting our warehouse which looked pretty standard as all things go. Tall shelves loaded with pallets, conveyor belts and forklifts going to and fro, burly men and women in high vis attire pottering about.
When all of a sudden a song broke out over the PA system and every single person started dancing. Their expressions didn’t change, they didn’t stop what they were doing or where they were going, they all just danced as they went about their business. A few seconds later the music stopped and they resumed normal existence. It was so bizaare. Like they had been brainwashed to respond to the music and didn’t recognise their own conditioning.
Turns out that’s all part of their ergonomics program. Every so often the music starts up and they’re meant to move about as a form of stretching.
Image source: obscureferences, Wavebreak Media / freepik
#9
Not my coworker, but someone that worked in my downtown office building. Me and a work friend were on the sidewalk having a smoke when a big crt computer monitor came crashing onto the sidewalk, followed by glass, a computer, a keyboard, and finally a chair. Apparently a guy on the twelfth floor was left alone in the HR office after they notified him that he was getting fired.
Image source: nursecarmen, Wavebreak Media / freepik
#10
A former colleague of mine pretended to have skin cancer. He left work for treatments and wore dressings for his wounds.
He was found to be lying after six months and escorted off site by security.
We worked in a hospital known for its oncology department, so he was not popular.
Image source: TranslatorCritical11, kuprevich / freepik
#11
This was in the ’80s at a bad software company run entirely by men. Wonder of wonders, an extremely competent and popular woman programmer was appointed to a management position in Development.
The younger developers decided to have a parade. She was of Scandinavian descent, so they made for her a horned helmet and sword out of aluminum foil, and made for her a sedan chair out of a wooden chair with a couple of pieces of lumber under the arms for support.
Then they carried her outside on the chair while she waved her “sword,” and paraded her around the parking lot at the head of a long column of programmers wearing fish hats and throwing firecrackers. I never understood the fish hats. Edit: And kazoo music. I forgot that.
Those were the days…
Image source: Tall_Mickey
#12
Had an all department meeting, which should have been a Live (approx 110people). Department head thought it was a good idea to have a large meeting rather then a live, so people could speak up regarding questions.
Everyone’s camera is off, except the presenter. 5min in, another camera turns on, and its clearly mobile. Person has headphones on and rests phone on bench. They then proceed to drop their dacks to take a dump. Presenter then yelled their name and that their camera was on. Person looks up, terrified, and grabs phone and disappears.
The meeting was recorded, but was then deleted.
Image source: youwhatmaate, EyeEm / freepik
#13
There was a woman at work who needed some time off because her daughter was k**led in a car accident. Everyone took up a collection for flowers and to help with expenses to get this woman out of state.
Something felt off to a coworker and me, and we made a crack that she was probably lying. Our boss chewed us out up one side and down the other. Another employee saw the woman’s husband during the course of work and asked how everything was going. He had no idea what she was talking about. Said his daughter was fine; she was getting ready to welcome her second child.
If she needed time off for that, we would have granted it. But to make up a story that your daughter was k****d? Who does that?! She never came back to work, and my coworker and I never got that apology.
Image source: Jonaessa, pressfoto / freepik
#14
A mechanic at the chemical plant where I worked decided to steal some copper tubing by wrapping it around his chest and covering it with his jacket. But it was really cold when he clocked out and the copper constricted and he couldn’t breathe by the time he got up to the guard gate. The guards had a good laugh unwinding him.
Image source: p38-lightning, kasipat / freepik
#15
I get hired right out of college at this tech company. Building has 3 floors. 3rd floor has a channel on Teams for (mostly) men called “Gus Time”. I am not a man but a few of the guys who I am friendly with invite me to this channel because, and i quote, “you won’t believe it.” I’m like okay, weird, but who am I to deny fun.
All of the messages on this channel are basically some version of “Gus just went in,” or “Gus just left.” One day we’re at happy hour and I say wtf is the Gus channel about? So a few of the men burst out laughing and explain. Gus is on the support team and he uses the 3rd floor bathroom to publicly rub the pickle. I ask why no one has said anything. They say “how do you tell a guy to stop flogging the pope at the sink without it becoming a whole thing?”
Weeks later, we hire a new guy who somehow missed the memo and goes into the bathroom during Gus Time. He erupts from the door and goes straight to HR. A couple of days later, Gus gets a letter from a therapist saying he has a severe panic disorder and this is a coping mechanism, [legal legal legal]; Gus finds himself in a protected class and Gus is allowed to work from home.
Suddenly Gus’s performance slips. Gus is asked to come in to speak with management and HR. Gus is fired for performance reasons that preclude his protected class. Gus gets up, refuses to turn in his badge, runs away, embodiment of Paul Blart Mall Cop security guard has to chase Gus outdoors near the aesthetic retention pond. It’s goose egg season and during the foot chase they run past an active nest. A male goose begins hissing and warding them off with wing flapping. Gus slips in the grass. Paul Blart tries to grab him but unhappy goose is in hot pursuit and begins…beaking them? Paul Blart has to pepper spray the goose. We’re all at the windows at this point. HR called the police. The police take Gus away. Paul Blart quit.
TL;DR: a chronic m*sturbator leads security on a literal wild goose chase.
Image source: josk03, Stockbusters / freepik
#16
While working at a supermarket, I was walking through the dairy department and saw a fellow employee over by the eggs. As I got closer I could see him with a carton open and he seemed to be turning each egg. After doing the whole pack, I asked him what he was doing and he responded, “the manager asked me to rotate the eggs.” I facepalmed and explained what they actually meant, to which he replied, “that makes a lot more sense.”
For context, in the grocery world, to rotate means to make sure the earliest dates of expiration are towards the front of the shelf.
Image source: Greystreet21
#17
A coworker (in a cotton mill) had a heart attack and died right there on the floor.
The supervisor roped off the area around him and worked continued.
EMT, Coroner, Police were all doing their job as we worked around them.
Image source: Wrong_Answer_Willie, standret / freepik
#18
Once had a guy call 911, and the police responded, because we wouldn’t give him anything but ice chips. I work in a hospital and he was having surgery the next morning.
Image source: beejieboo, armmypicca / freepik
#19
I used to work in a 5 star hotel one and had this boss who used to enjoy pretending he was better than everyone else one time he wound up the chef so much the chef chased him with a knife around the restaurant shouting and swearing nothing came of it from what I know despite HR knowing.
Image source: Key_Programmer3412, The Yuri Arcurs Collection / freepik
#20
A girl I worked with had her boyfriend come to our job to fight one of our guy coworkers after work.
They fought in the parking lot. Security had to run out and break it up. Her boyfriend lost lol.
Image source: TazzzTM, YuriArcursPeopleimages / envatoelements
#21
I had a coworker that we will call Bob. You see Bob was a relatively peaceful guy but you knew that there was some s**t wrong with him. They’d regularly fire people from this job and, well, Bob always told everyone “if I’m ever fired it better be when I’m at home. I’d rather be called and told I’m fired rather than come to work and find out in person. I don’t want to come to work happy and prepared my lunch just to be sent home.”
Well…he was fired. All hell broke loose. He was in charge of cutting up drywall at the job, and well, he grabbed that drywall and smashed it to pieces. Smashed the saw too. Threw an empty propane tank at the wall and just destroyed so much s**t.
Eventually the Cops were involved and Bob was escorted away. Honestly, the job was horrible and he was a legend for it in my eyes.
Image source: Zalpyy-fly788, anatoliy_gleb / freepik
#22
This is in the late 80’s. I worked in a hospital pharmacy that was like the united nations. Indian, Mexican, Italian, Chinese, Korean, Vietnamese, Hatian and American employees.
The hatian woman was very Catholic, so religious, and in love with a gay Mexican man who was mostly in the closet except for a few of us who were good friends. He was in a relationship with an American pharmacist and they lived together, but most everyone thought it was as roommates. So she would cook for him, buy him gifts and have “dates” that were platonic, but in her mind he was her boyfriend. The American pharmacist hated it because he was jealous, and she was also jealous of their relationship, so they pretty much hated each other.
The hospital was pretty big and in the back was where all the overstock was kept. I was way in the front (probably about 500 feet from the back) taking care of a nurse when I heard this blood curdling scream that didn’t stop. The Haitian woman came running through the pharmacy literally screaming at the top of her lungs and ran out of the hospital screaming. Turned out they got into a fight about her ” boyfriend” and the real boyfriend told her that they were gay and she would never have him. The men broke up because he was pissed off that he was outed ( only a few of us knew what really happened) and he never forgave his boyfriend. She never came back, sent someone to pick up her stuff and we were told she went back to Haiti and entered a convent.
Image source: Fluid-Air-3151, freepik
#23
A guy got fired and he trapped himself in a cubicle with a knife threatening people if they walked past. I went in with management and “hid” (chatted with them while leaning on his desk) in one of their offices until the cops came. He usually carried a gun but didn’t have it that day.
Image source: Traviscat, beststudio / freepik
#24
I worked at a convenience store where we had a setup for hot foods, there was a huge case for chicken and corndogs, and pork tenderloins (Indiana, duh).
This guy we usually had on the fryer was over it; he had enough one day, so he walked up to the case, took out a tenderloin, stuck it down his pants, and rubbed his c****h on it while flipping off the camera – then he tossed it back into the food case! He walked out of the building while flipping a double bird at the cameras and the manager.
That s**t had to be SO hot for one, I don’t know how he could stand rubbing his d**k on a hot fried tenderloin, but he did it.
We had to empty the case, throw out ALL the food (that SOB had just dumped a load of fresh chicken in it too), and then we had to sterilize the chicken case before we could add food back into it.
The manager didn’t do s**t, it was just the co-workers he left behind who got f****d over.
Image source: Walmartian_Beta, freepik
#25
I used to work in fashion design and I had a coworker who kept a flat iron at her desk and would nervously iron her hair throughout the day. I’m amazed she never started a fire.
Image source: Hot_Probs, freepik
#26
Had a guy that was with our shop for a couple weeks, seemed cool. Well one fine Wednesday the state boys come to visit and they have friends from the FBI with them. Homie drops everything like it was a billion degrees sprints it for the emergency exit jumps the security fence gets cut all to hell on the concertina wire. And hauls a*s to never be seen again. Weird right. Then we see our shop supervisor getting led out in cuffs pale as a ghost head slung down to the floor. He and his wife were running a pdf file ring on the dark web. F**k you Carl
Image source: Spreaderoflies, reewungjunerr / freepik
#27
Worked with a guy who carried a flask on him at all times, everyone knew he had a flask, everyone knew he drank from it all day, he absolutely reeked of liquor. Once he came in on his day off to grab something from his locker and left, about an hour later his girlfriend came in looking for him, he had driven there with her and she was sitting outside waiting for him. The dude literally flat out forgot his girlfriend had driven him there and he wandered home. He flat out stopped showing up eventually, I ran into him a couple years later, he still reeked of liquor and didn’t even remember who I was.
Image source: bjwyxrs, n4talee / freepik
#28
Woman came to work extremely intoxicated. She passed out at the front desk so coworkers pushed her chair into the staff workroom. She woke up and thought she was in the bathroom so she took off her pants and peed on the floor.
Image source: MarianLibrarian1024, freepik
#29
Watching a dude’s hand melt off from sticking it into a fryer is up there on my list. Not #1, but top 10 at least. Probably.
Image source: slinkhi
#30
Someone brought h*sh brownies to an office Christmas potluck and didn’t tell anyone.
Image source: flavius_lacivious
#31
I work in a kindergarden for kids with special needs. One kid kept going for a quiet place few times a day, and we figured he just needed some time alone. This was outside in the playground where there was a little treehouse in the back behind some trees. On the third day of this happening I went to see what’s up and encourage him to talk about why he needed time alone. I found him sitting on the ground eating one big spoon full of sand after the other. We’re not just talking baby eating sand here – more like a medium sized kid shoveling sand down his stomach like it was his favourite food. So yeah this little boy probably ate A LOT of sand during those three days and probably longer.
He’s fine now – 2. Grader now – kicked me in the butt when I saw him in a grocery store a week ago.
Image source: jac0bk, EyeEm / freepik
#32
A dozen full-grown men all singing Taylor Swift’s “shake it off” in the shower together. Squad showers have scarred me for life.
Image source: YisigothTheUndying
#33
On a Zoom meeting/town hall with approx 100 people, someone forgot to mute and ripped a huge fart while the VP was giving a company update.
The noise triggered their screen to pop up, which outed them. To make things worse, the meeting was recorded and sent to everyone afterwards.
Image source: DynastyIntro
#34
Beginning of covid when everyone was still learning mute/blurred backgrounds.
Whole of department call and someone blurts out “oh, f*** off!” just as our director starts speaking. As a result she mutes participants.
Director’s naked husband (who also works at the same company) then appears in the background and proceeds to make himself lunch. Someone had to call her mobile to tell her.
Image source: Wednesdays_Agenda
#35
I received some gossip that a line cook (let’s call her Shelley) got promoted to supervisor due to a not-so-covert relationship with the Executive Chef. One day this lady working the salad station found out her daughter was getting her hours cut and sent home early since it was a slow day. Well, she went straight to the Executive Chef, and in front of half the staff she said “Why aren’t you sending Shelley home? IS IT BECAUSE YOU ARE F*****G HER IN THE P***Y???” To which the Chef told her to f**k off. This started a very lively and highly entertaining screaming match.
I also watched a guy complain about a headache, reach into his pocket and pop a pill. I asked him if it was an Advil, and he said “nah, it’s Molly”. I really wish he was joking.
Image source: Angryhippo2910
#36
Saw a lady who had been let go refuse to leave her desk. She was to go turn her badge into security and leave the campus. I dont know what she thought she was going to accomplish. Her credentials had already been revoked, so she couldn’t log in. They gave her a box for her things, but she wouldn’t pack them up. She just kept shouting, “We ain’t doin’ this today!” Over and over. Security came and told her to stand up so they could walk her out. One security guard started putting her things in the box, and she would take them out and start setting them up on her desk again. She would not get up from her chair. This went on for a half hour. Only when they told her the police had been called did she agree to be walked out. I always wondered if she thought they’d change their minds if she just stayed at her desk.
Image source: RogerMurdockCo-Pilot
#37
I was on a work trip and my boss brought a woman to dinner, was cuddly/ couple-y, etc ok fine until we were back and his wife and kids came to the office and it was definitely not his dinner date.
Image source: Just-Wolf3145, standret / freepik
#38
I was delivering pizzas I got shot 6 times in the chest by some punk kid wanting to steal my car.
The guy I was delivering to just happened to be a PJ (pararescue, think 911 for elite military units) and headed stabilitized me until an ambulance came.
I did manage to call my best friend and speak to him. Asked him to go take care of my dogs, he did. He and his dad came to the hospital as I was going into surgery.
Work kept calling my phone and finally Parker’s dad answered. It was my manager absolutely b******g about how I was fired for taking so long on the route. After my boss was told what happened, his response was, and I’m quoting from what I was told,
“Well that’s just f*****g great, now I need to find coverage for the rest of the weekend.”
Parker’s father is the most polite and well spoken man I have ever known, I’ve known him for 15 years at the time and have never once heard him raise his voice or curse.
He absolutely laid into my boss, called him every profane thing in the book, and told him that he was on speaker and an entire waiting room of my family and friends had heard him.
Luckily I made a full recovery, but he didn’t loose his job dispite basically everyone I know calling the corporate office. Last I checked he was still there, his own personal hell I guess haha.
Image source: Unyielding_Cactus
#39
I worked in a federal office with some contractors sprinkled in the mix. It was a very uptight, staunch, and high level office setting. One of the contractors had clearly never worked in an office, she was shockingly unprofessional. One day she stumbled in several hours late, obviously drunk. She ranted about an mushroom ceremony the night before and how she had met her soul mate. She cornered me and started loudly, in front of many coworkers, describing in detail what he had done to her the night before. I had to yell, “Stop please stop and let me leave!” It was some fowl stuff. Not kink shaming it was literally fowl stuff, not a typo. I ran to HR and explained that I was not participating in that conversation and that I was trapped. She is taller and stronger than I am. It is a funny story now but at the time I was mortified. That was really the crowning jewel of months of these sorts of things. They still didn’t fire her until they caught her stealing.
Edit: I forgot the best part. At one point during her rant, she grabbed her c****h and moaned, “ oh my p***y is so sore!”
Image source: Valis_Monkey
#40
Worked with a guy at a gas station who was blatantly selling d***s to the Subway employees we shared the building with *while standing at the cash register*. We even had customers who would come in and say ‘hey, pretty sure I saw the guy who opens selling d***s behind the building.’ He was not at all as covert as he had convinced himself he was. The store manager allowed it, essentially, because she didn’t want to have to get up early to open the store and he would do it for her.
Image source: PrettyBird2011
#41
Saw a young guy launch a cardboard case containing appx. 50 crystal champagne flutes. It was a s****y job at a wedding/community center and the dude just snapped suddenly. Don’t know what set him off, but I never saw the kid again. Every glass broke and the mess was crazy. (2 hrs before a fancy wedding reception) Well over 1k in damage.
Image source: OutlandishnessNo1950
#42
The director of our department got fired. When they told her, she started crying and took off out of the room. She hid all over the building, mostly in the warehouse. It took them 2 hrs to find her and escort her out, bawling all the way. Yikes.
Image source: EntertainerOk9552
#43
I run a small festival and we get a lot of volunteers. Most are incredible and we appreciate them so much.
This one volunteer was bat s**t crazy. Showed up for her 4hr shift at the gate. Asked if anyone wanted anything from the bottle shop and left the site for 3 and a half hours. She comes back, nearly runs some of our festival attendees over in her car and then proceeds to tell people she is with first aid and starts treating them!
First aid, our safety officer and security had to “fire” her on the spot.
Months later, we are still getting emails from her saying she can’t wait to volunteer for us again next year!
Yeah NO.
Image source: 40fnolongercares
#44
We had Christmas temps at an old workplace, they worked on the customer service phones. One guy was constantly late and would spend ages in the break room area on a bean bag. He was let go and afterward we found 3 litre empty bottles of vodka under the bean bag. Fair play to him getting away with getting smashed in the office as long as he did.
Image source: AreaMiserable9187, mike.shots / freepik
#45
My nursing school rotation the 1st month a med student in the hospital I worked at was having some sort of romantic issues with someone in the hospital. They got into a big fight and he took a charge nurses chair and smashed 2 computers then threw his badges, pager and stuff down and shouted “bill me b**ches” along with some stuff I won’t repeat about his (guessing ex by then) and walked out mid shift. Nothing even remotely that interesting happened the rest of my nursing rotations lol.
Image source: MindYaBusinessFam, krakenimages.com / freepik
#46
Saw the boyfriend of a coworker come in and try to stab him. He ran and the guy instantly chased after him. He survived and came back to work. A few months later I saw the cops come in and arrest the same coworker. He did not lose his job.
Image source: foxtrot_delta_tango_
#47
My first manager used to slap everybody’s a*s when he first saw them on any given day.
Not lightly either – like a full blown smack. I literally had a red mark for a few hours once. Needless to say he didn’t last long.
Image source: anon
#48
We had a m***head living in our attic for weeks without us knowing. One day he fell through the ceiling in the dry storage, locked eyes with the head chef sitting at his desk, and then just booked it out of there. On his way down the dude knocked down a shelf, f****d up our can rack, broke our A/C, and then kicked a hole in the drywall for good measure.
We’d been coming in at 8AM to find dishes in the sink, fryers and grills left on, food missing, etc. We figured it was just the night crew coming in for a snack, it’s terrifying to think of how long he was up there without us knowing. Some guys had even gone up to get stuff, walked right past him without noticing.
Image source: ASK_ME_FOR_TRIVIA
#49
I’ve worked in commercial kitchens for basically my entire adult life, it would be easier for me to do an AMA.
The scariest dude though, we actually had a safe word after he walked out. Called him Lt. Dang because he never swore and that is a huge f*****g red flag in a kitchen. I asked him why one day and he said he liked to save dirty words for when he’s really angry.
The weirdest part is he walked out arguing over how traditional tiramisu is made. Started screaming about how we’re a bunch of d*****s m***********s even though he was one of the stupidest, most worthless cooks I’ve ever worked with.
Image source: Queef-Supreme
#50
Guy was arrested for shoplifting/retail theft and threw an absolute screaming, frothing at the mouth, pissing his pants, out of control fit that lasted for 30 minutes. This was in the US; he was English and afraid he would be deported. He defined the word ‘hysterical’. Jesus! Don’t steal if you’re worried about being kicked out. And this was a long time ago, he might well be deported now.
Image source: MissHibernia
#51
I had the chief accounting officer tell me that my family was waiting for me in the lobby at my previous job 🤦🏻♀️ It was a group of Asian women that had come in that day to look at the CNC machines that were for sale.
I told her my family doesnt know where I worked and they would tell me theyre visiting BEFORE showing up. And this happened on a Friday afternoon so I had all weekend to think about what had just happened.
Went in on Monday and my spoke to my supervisor and all he said was “this is not who we are”. Sure, dude, sure. Then spoke with HR. Who also said the same thing.
Left a few months later to a better job, better manager and better company.
Image source: kimora_ness
#52
One guy did a spicy wing challenge at lunch. Later that afternoon he was on the floor of his cubicle moaning and crying and saying F**k so many times (Very loudly) We tried to call an ambulance but he was adamant that he was going to be fine.
Image source: DeeMountain
#53
I actually wrote up a whole encounter with my strange russian coworker the other day, but I can’t get to tumblr on my work computer. My weirdest counter with him though was I had to go into the lab during lunch and he was in there:
* with all the lights off
* wearing nothing but an undershirt
* lifting a single weight
* with Let’s Grove by Earth, Wind, and Fire at full volume playing from his computer.
Also his desk neighbor has had to make one of his monitors vertical because Igor will change at his desk in the middle of the office.
Edit: I’ve added below the tumblr post I wrote about him
I’m sure many of you are familiar with John Mulaney’s ducklings bit. Today I’d like to tell you all about the Henry J. Finch of my workplace. He’s a small old Russian man named Igor. Normally I change people’s names when I tell stories about them on the internet. However, given this guy is literally a Soviet era Russian named Igor, it would be a disservice to the story to tell it any other way. Ridiculous s**t happens with him all the time, [story from above].
But today, I want to recount just what happened in a single software review with this guy. It started out great when he showed up half an hour late to an hour long meeting because he didn’t realize that we were having our weekly software review at the same time on the same day that we always have it. The department manager asked him where he was, and he said “in a machine diving”. Now Igor has a very thick Russian accent, so it’s reasonable to assume that you misunderstood something when what he said doesn’t make sense; and we work on non-aquatic trains, so diving really doesn’t make sense. The department manager asked “driving?” and Igor said “no, diving!” and mimed swimming. The department manager decided to leave that one alone.
A few minutes later we were talking about having to send someone up to Richmond to meet with a company there. Igor interrupted everyone to say “Richmond is the capital of Virginia”. And y’know what? He’s right. It sure is.
Eventually we got to reviewing his tasks, and every single one was on the backlog save one, which was on hold. He wasn’t actively working on any of them. And only one of them had a projected end date: February 28, 2022. Now I know that most people aren’t software engineers, so let me explain that these tasks should usually be anywhere from a day to a week, maybe a month if it’s a really big one. Not 25 months. But this kind of thing is normal for Igor so let’s move on to the next thing. He croaked. It sounded just like a frog. He opened the corner of his mouth and croaked. And absolutely nobody acknowledged it.
A few minutes later someone asked who the cube avatar was. Every person in this system has an avatar that shows up on all of their tasks so that you can tell who each task is assigned to. Since the mine was the cube avatar I let the asker know, then Igor perked up and said “A cube! Square on all sides!” Then he let out a slight chuckle and settled back down in his seat, and continued “born perfectly…”
All of this took place inside the half hour that he was actually in the meeting, and barely any of it was acknowledge by the more senior employees.
Image source: StylishSuidae
#54
A large heavy set man falling down a set of stairs what seemed to be in slow motion and once he got to bottom he screamed MY BALLS! Then he got up, picked up what ever fried snack he was eating and casually walked away as if it never happened.
Image source: GOAT188
#55
I worked in a small office. There was a front lobby area with a conference room off to the side. It was separated by a door from the rest of the office. So I’m sitting at my desk, just working, and I hear screaming from the front lobby area, like straight up someone is being m******d screaming.
Everyone in the office area is freaking out, assuming there was a robbery or something horrible happening in the front. I hear someone shrieking for help, so I’m like okay this is clearly not a dangerous situation, it must be a medical emergency or something like that. I tell one of my coworkers to call 911. I proceed to open the door quietly and walk towards the lobby. I do not see anyone, even the receptionist, but the screaming is still going on from inside the conference room. I slowly open the door and find about 8 people on top of the table, including the owners of the company and a couple clients. I’m just staring at them, seriously confused about what I just walked into.
I look down and see a tiny little field mouse hopping around in circles around the table. I picked the little guy up and became the hero of the day. 911 dispatched a couple of police officers over a tiny mouse. My raise that year was substantially higher than usual.
Image source: raven_darkseid
#56
Two things come to mind from when I worked at department store in college:
– A woman came into the store, went through the perfume aisle, took a few bottles into the layaway storage room, and drank them. This was all right before closing, maybe 10 minutes, or so. Watching this on camera was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
– Some dude came in strumming a banjo as he followed his SO around as she shopped. I, and all of my coworkers, searched for someone with a camera to see if it was some sort of gag, but nope. Dude just walked the aisles with his girl playing the banjo to keep himself occupied.
Image source: HuhWhatQue
#57
My old office had these giant floor to ceiling windows that would get washed every month or so. One month the window washer was outside the window I faced with a long pole to wash the second story windows. He let it fall away from the building too far and it hit a power line right in front of us. We all thought we had watched him die, but he ended up getting into the ambulance unassisted to go get checked out.
Image source: taylaj
#58
This lady I work with is bat s**t crazy. Like used to scream and throw people’s things. Crazy. One day I came back to my cubicle aisle (it’s just me in the aisle) and she’s fully getting fitted in a nice gown. I stop and turn to leave and she’s like no no come back. “How do my b***s look in this? It’s for my sons wedding.” I was like uhhhh goood…? She came into work 4 hours late and had her cousin come to hem her dress AT WORK. So anyways, I’m trying to ignore this and I go back to work. About an hour later, she walks past me FULLY CLOTHED in her work clothes. Like she completely changed in the middle of the office. It was bizarre to say the least.
Image source: grygrl
#59
Happened this morning…
2 male coworkers of mine got in a physical altercation over…**wasting copy paper.**.
Image source: AJandSJ
#60
While my opponent was cross examining my client in a family law matter over Teams during lockdown and he raised the issue of her evident failure to pay appropriate tax on certain incomes her husband who was for some reason visible throughout crossed his eyes, fell from his chair, had a heart attack and died.
He was later resuscitated by his own barrister taking instructions over the phone and then the fire brigade, luckily he lived 400m from a hospital. A real flog but I felt a bit sorry for him.
Image source: Special_Return5776
#61
Two co workers had some personal beef that I don’t quite understand to this day. Some misunderstanding or another and they decided to walk into the cargo elevator for privacy. Not realising the cargo elevator sits inside a massive shaft that runs up and down the entire building, their yelling and screaming could be heard by everyone everywhere. Not much came out of it other than a stern finger wagging that they should maintain professionalism and not bring personal beeves into the work place. Still it was pretty funny seeing them walk out of that elevator and for a few seconds thinking nobody knew they were arguing until they realised everyone was staring at them.
Image source: PckMan
#62
Used to work at a longhorn steakhouse and I watched a lady walk in to a birthday table and pick up the cake and throw it at the girl and proceed to beat her a*s. Wild. I dont get paid enough. Glad it wasn’t my table.
Also one time a lady got so blackout drunk at the bar, her date left her and she was near passed out holding hands with my manager while I held her up in her barstool. Lol. She was a cop, too.
Image source: Aggressive-Phone3868
#63
Worked at big outdoor activities centre a few summers, there’s lots of behind-the-scenes areas where the public can’t see. Saw a new guy (who was definitely some friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend ‘favour’ hire from someone higher up) not know where the toilets were so just take a s**t in a hedge behind scenes (I found him mid-s**t). He proceeded to make really crude moves on all the women and I later found him receiving a blow job from a guy in *the same hedge*. He was asked to leave.
Image source: XyloArch
#64
Coworker came in and found a chunk of his desk missing. After investigating we found a bullet, and a bullet hole above his desk. I ended up on the roof patching the hole.
No idea who decided to shoot our building in the middle of the night.
Image source: fievelm
#65
Was at technical school, but I had that friend who was setting up a firewall for schools of the region. It meant that he had to check if p**n sites were blocked, they were not. Most striking is having my friend and our teacher behind him looking at p**n sites during class.
The good old days…
Image source: sugarthnder
#66
So I used to work at a small grocery store and one day my boss says he wants to show me something on the camera and I’m like bet alright and follow him up to the office. There’s a couple other people there and we all gather round as my boss hits play on a tape from the day before. There’s an old man walking through the produce department and all of a sudden we see him stop, reach around, pat his a*s, and then shake his leg until BALL of S**T plops out onto the floor. He then panics and tries to kick it under a produce display but accidentally steps on it and smears it all in the rug we put in front of the displays. Then he decides thats good enough and just continues shopping and then leaves without telling anyone or buying adult diapers.
We also had a lady two days later who was a known alcoholic steal two small bottles of wine by drinking both of them in the store bathroom and then hiding the bottles very visibly behind the toilet where my manager could see them. This same woman was also known for buying copious amounts of vanilla extract like 9 bottles at a time so that she could drink them in her car to get a buzz. I swear grocery stores are one of the best places to find some wild people.
Image source: LastofFelix
#67
Not auscorp but during remote learning as a high school teacher I had:
– a time I went to sit down in my chair and the chair broke, with me just disappearing off screen,
– my learning support officer’s cat jumping at a bird outside as I was teaching and getting stuck on the flyscreen, leaving the LSO to try and subtly remove her without the kids noticing,
– a kid turning their camera off for 15 minutes and then turning it back on with a full face of KISS style makeup,
– the same kid doing this with clown makeup,
– the same kid doing this with witch makeup,
– more cat buttholes than I can count,
– parents walking in the background holding their kid’s freshly folded underwear, with the kid immediately appearing mortified,
– a dog s******g on the tiles of a kid’s house because nobody was watching it,
– a different dog pissing on the rug in the background, on two different occasions,
– a kid sharing his screen and all of his most visited webpages being websites for bongs,
– catching a kid cheating because I could see them switching between two different documents in the reflection of their glasses.
I do not miss remote learning.
Image source: ObjectiveStudio5909
#68
An unmuted colleague suddenly shouted “That was offside, you blind c*nt!”
Note to meetings organizers who work for multi-nationals – check football schedule in UK before picking a timeslot.
Image source: Profusion-of-Celery
Follow Us
