Every stepparent has a learning curve at the start of their relationship, wherein they slowly have to adjust to their loved one’s children. It might be tough to take on a new role and manage expectations, but the support of one’s partner can make all the difference.
Unfortunately for one woman, she soon realized that her fiancé was okay saddling her with all of the parenting duties while he did nothing. Although she enjoyed caring for his son on her own for a while, she wondered if every day would soon turn into that.
More info: Mumsnet
Parents and stepparents need to be a team and work together to look after their children, instead of one person having to take on all the responsibilities
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster explained that she’s going to get married to her fiancé soon and that even though they have no children together, she enjoys spending time with his kid
Image credits: Petro Seniv 888 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One day, out of the blue, the poster’s fiancé told her to babysit his son while he went to check out a business premises, so she entertained the kid for hours
Image credits: sviatkovskyi / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the man returned, he immediately went for a shower, demanded food, watched television, and scrolled on his phone without acknowledging his kid or partner
Image credits: tokoyo
Although the woman didn’t mind looking after her stepson, she felt that her fiancé should at least thank her for stepping in and helping him with childcare
The poster and her partner had been in a long-term relationship and were set to get married soon, meaning that they knew one another well and were integrated into each other’s lives. The OP also got on nicely with her fiancé’s 4-year-old son and spent a lot of time with the little boy whenever she got a chance.
The only problem she faced was when one day her partner told her to babysit his kid while he went to check out a potential work premises. She agreed to do so, but when her fiancé returned, he expected her to continue with the childcare while he just scrolled on his phone and relaxed.
Although the woman was shocked by her partner’s behavior, many stepmoms say that they are often made to feel like babysitters. Their husbands or boyfriends are quite content to let them take on the burden of parenting, and very soon, that might become the dynamic of the household.
Initially, it might feel great to know that your partner is trusting you to look after their kids, but experienced stepparents state that this can create an imbalance in the relationship. It’s therefore important for stepmoms and stepdads to speak up and create a set of boundaries early on so that they don’t feel taken advantage of.
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster felt put off by her fiancé’s behavior and couldn’t believe that he didn’t even thank her for looking after his son for so long. Instead, the man behaved rudely with her, demanded she give him food, and kept scrolling on his phone instead of interacting with his kid or partner.
Very often, stepparents find themselves in a gray area like this, where they might have to take up extra parenting duties to prove themselves or else risk being shut out. Experts believe that the best thing to do when one reaches this point is to be direct and open with one’s partner and figure things out together.
According to folks in blended families, the primary parent needs to take an active role when it comes to parenting and ease the stepparent into those duties. The main parent cannot take a passive role and push their responsibilities onto their partner, like the man in this story seemed to be doing.
That’s why the OP was justified in being concerned about her fiancé’s behavior, and after listening to all the advice from people online, she knew she had to do something about it. Hopefully, she and her fiancé will discuss these responsibilities and figure out how their parenting roles will look in the future.
What advice do you have for the woman in this story? Do let us know in the comments below.
Most people felt that the man was taking advantage of his fiancée and that she shouldn’t just do all the childcare for him
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