“The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack” was far from dull: the hilarious Sophie Winkleman, as Walden’s girlfriend Zoey, made this episode the highlight of the season so far. Sure, it’s partially due to her British accent, but Winkleman has been a great addition to the cast since her first appearance. There is a sweetness to both Zoey and Walden, and it gives Two and a Half Men a nice new vibe.
Walden only has two concerns about his relationship with Zoey. The first is that she refuses to let him meet her daughter: when he stays overnight at Zoey’s house, he is forced to hide in a closet, then under the bed, then on top of a dresser in a Spider-Man-style pose. The second is that Zoey has a lack of enthusiasm about their sex life: it’s not that it’s bad, he just doesn’t like that she seems to be able to take it or leave it.
Walden goes to Alan for advice, who is in the midst of explaining to Jake that even if he did marry Eldridge’s mom, that doesn’t mean that Jake and Eldridge could swap places to fool people–that’s for twins only. Alan tells Walden to talk to Zoey about their sex life, because that’s one of two problems in a relationship that won’t go away on its own (we never find out what the other one is, because in comparison it doesn’t matter). Walden brings up the topic when he’s video chatting with Zoey. She will talk about anything except that, and especially doesn’t want to discuss their “carnal interludes” when someone could be listening–and Berta is. Walden suggests role playing–he could be a pool boy–to which Zoey responds, “How is you cleaning an imaginary pool supposed to be erotic?” Zoey’s British accent makes conversations like these, well, awesome. She is “fine and dandy” with their carnal interludes.
Berta gets in a couple of zingers, calling Zoey “Mary Poppins” and “the Duchess of Dull-in-Sack” before offering Walden some of her special brownies in an attempt to help Zoey relax. The brownies are for Berta’s glaucoma, of course. Walden doesn’t want to get Zoey loaded; Berta doesn’t understand what’s wrong with kids these days.
The next time Walden and Zoey are in bed–finishing up a Hugh Grant movie–Walden wants to make sure they don’t do anything unless Zoey wants to. Their sweet-but-awkward conversation ends up with Zoey attempting to try Walden’s role-playing suggestion, “My, what a big chlorine bottle you’ve got!” Best line. Walden decides it’s time for some assistance, and asks Zoey if she wants some of Berta’s special brownies. She agrees to try them; she did in university once and “had a bit of a giggle.”
The brownies kick in too much, too quickly, because in the next scene, Zoey is cowering in the corner thinking she’s hearing police sirens (“Dear God, they’re from France!”), while Walden is chilling out on the bed wearing sunglasses. Zoey runs out on the deck and down the stairs, past Jake and Eldridge who have obviously found the brownies. Walden wanders the beach, yelling for Zoey, trying to find her. He offers the kids $100 to whoever finds Zoey. They decide if they were stoned and freaked out, they would go to Taco Bell, so they’ll check there. Walden continues to the beach, forgetting he already checked there.
Zoey is exactly where you could expect to find her: in the kitchen snacking on whatever she could find. Alan comes in, and Zoey talks about how Americans call crisps “chips,” and chips “French fries,” and to not get her started on the French. She asks Alan where Walden is and then spills herself to Alan, telling him that it’s hard for her to really give herself to someone until she really trusts them. Then she apologizes for never being that warm to him, because “I don’t care for you very much.” The British accent wins again, and Alan can hardly take that as an offense. It’s the most polite insult he’s ever experienced.
Walden finds his way back home and learns Zoey is already there, but in addition to the real Zoey, Jake and Eldridge have found another woman named Zoey and would like to collect the reward. They do this a few more times, desperately wanting the $100. Apparently any woman will go to a strange house with wasted teenagers as long as they are promised that a billionaire will be waiting for them.
The next day, Walden accidentally meets Zoey’s daughter when they return to her apartment and the girl is there with Zoey’s ex-husband. If there’s one thing better than Zoey in this episode, it’s her daughter. The adorable little girl loves Walden instantly, and she takes him to get a glass of water while her parents proceed to their regularly scheduled fighting. She pronounces herself Queen, and when Walden introduces himself, she says, “I shall call you Sir Schmidt!” Very cute. It’s a happy ending from there: Walden goes with them to the zoo, and now that Zoey knows how good he is with her daughter, their problems with carnal interludes are fixed. Walden, however, thinks the fix was the zoo, so he’s planned a trip to the San Diego Wild Animal Park.
The biggest disappointment of recent episodes of Two and a Half Men is that Jake has been reduced to a kid with a drug problem. We get it: he was never the smartest kid on the block, and his intelligence can be taken to a whole new low when he’s wasted. There needs to be something else for Jake, even if it’s a trip to rehab.
What did you think of “The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack”? Watch Two and a Half Men Mondays at 9pm ET on CBS.
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