None of us chooses to be brought into this world. So you’d think the people responsible for raising us would at least give us a safe and loving home. Sadly, plenty of children end up in families that make their lives much harder than they ever needed to be.
Over on the Narcissistic Parents subreddit, users share what growing up with an entitled mother or father can be like. Many call out the things they went through, while others use humor to cope. We’ve rounded up a selection of their posts below. Scroll down to check them out.
#1 Louder Please !
Image source: damnsonwheredidya_
#2 Saw This On Instagram, Thought It Belonged Here 😂
Image source: ITconspiracy
#3 Thought You All Would Appreciate This One
Image source: BirgundiBaker
When you grow up with narcissistic parents, you often don’t realize anything is wrong at first. To you, getting blamed for things that weren’t your fault or being made to feel guilty for having needs can simply seem normal.
Then, at some point, you realize other families don’t work like that. And that realization can hurt. It can feel lonely too, almost like everyone else got a head start in life while you were left trying to catch up.
#4 Eventually You Just Accept That There’s No Point
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#5 Own Up To Your Mistakes For Once
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#6 I Felt This Post
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That comparison isn’t even much of an exaggeration. Difficult experiences in childhood can actually change the way your brain learns to understand the world.
“If you have a whole bunch of bad experiences growing up, you set up your brain in such a way that it’s your expectation that that’s what life is about,” James Perrin, former president of the American Academy of Pediatrics, told The Atlantic.
#7 True
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#8 Thought This Would Belong Here
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#9 Same. Now I Just Talk Back And Defend Myself 🤷🏻♀️
Image source: Weekly-Coffee-2488
Sadly, childhood trauma is far from rare. According to a 2014 study published in Health Affairs, 48% of US children experience at least one adverse childhood event, while 23% go through two or more.
These can include witnessing domestic violence, living with someone who has a substance problem or having a parent with serious mental illness.
#10 Nice Name Bro, Couldn’t Crosspost
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#11 This
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#12 Here’s A Picture I Really Liked
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Children exposed to at least two traumatic or highly stressful events are 2.5 times more likely to repeat a grade or become disengaged from their schoolwork than those who haven’t faced any.
They are also more likely to have chronic health conditions, including asthma, ADHD, autism and obesity.
#13 Happy Mother’s Day
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#14 Kids Aren’t Responsible For Their Parents
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#15 Yup, Same
Image source: ILLUMINUSNUMBx
And growing up doesn’t necessarily mean leaving all of that behind. The habits you learn as a child can follow you for years.
According to Healthline, adults raised by narcissistic parents may struggle to put their own needs first because they spent so long learning that someone else’s feelings mattered more.
#16 Bought My Own Car So My Nparents Can’t Use Taking My Keys As A Manipulation Tactic Anymore :)
Image source: gr26ko
#17 Say It Louder For The People In The Back
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#18 The Logic Is Impeccable
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As a result, they may deal with a lot of self-doubt and struggle with low self-esteem. That can make it harder to trust their own abilities or speak up for themselves.
They might hold back from applying for a better job because they assume they won’t get it. Even asking a coworker for help can feel uncomfortable, so they may end up taking everything on by themselves instead.
#19 I Thought This Was Normal And Wondering Why I Hate Staying With My Mum
Image source: kaatiewoods_
#20 Pretty Much
Image source: Specific_Expression7
#21 This Is Literally How I Realized In My Mid 20’s That We Grew Up In An Emotional Abusive Household Wrought With Mental Illnesses
Image source: niketyname
When toxic parents don’t respect their children’s boundaries, those kids can have a hard time setting their own later on. Saying no might feel scary, especially if it used to get them punished or cause an argument.
They can also turn into people-pleasers after learning that keeping a parent happy was the easiest way to get affection. That habit can stick around in friendships and romantic relationships, where they may keep putting someone else first.
#22 LOL Yeah I Think This Applies Here
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#23 Why Are You Angry With Me ¿
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#24 Saw This On Facebook, Thought Of This Sub. Good Day!
Image source: bluental
Of course, growing up with a toxic parent doesn’t mean you’re doomed to deal with the effects of it forever. People can work through what happened, unlearn the things they had to do to survive and build a much better life for themselves.
The important part is not pretending that kind of childhood was no big deal. Narcissistic parents can make life incredibly hard for their kids, and it can take time to untangle all of that later.
#25 I Choose Peace!
Image source: DominoCasparo
#26 I Feel Like This Can Hit Close To Home With Many Of Us Here
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#27 Mind Blown But Its Soo True!!
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#28 Literally Every Night When I Lived With My Nparents
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#29 Not Mine But I Thought You Would All Appreciate It
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#30 Wish My Parent Knew This
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#31 It Do Be Like That
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#32 Anyone Who Grew Up With Narcissistic Parents Would Understand
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#33 You’ve Changed (Condescending Tone)
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#34 Louder For The People At The Back
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#35 Whoop, There It Is. The Truth Uncensored
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#36 Anyone Else?
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#37 Indeed
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#38 The Feeling Of Utter Dread
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#39 Exist For Yourself!
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#40 Or Even Better, Facts From My Little Brother When He Was 9
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#41 We Made Ourselves Kind!
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#42 Mine To A Tee…
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#43 It Took Me Until I Was 31 To Even Recognize What My Favorite Color Is. Who Else Had Nparents That Tried To Sabotage The Formation Of Your Identity?
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#44 Found This On Ifunny, Thought You Guys Might Like It
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#45 Finally Moving Out
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#46 Yup Pretty Much
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#47 Seen This On Facebook And Thought It Belonged Here :)
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#48 I Feel Like This Belongs Here Because We All Know This Pain
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#49 Anyone Who Gets This Too?
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#50 Untitled
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#51 Homework Time Was Always Hell. Got Hit With Textbooks Like That Would Help Me Understand??
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#52 This… Makes A Lot Of Sense For Me. I Always Agree That My Parents Could Be Worse And I Do Wish Things Were Worse So I’d Feel Justified
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#53 This Made Me Burst Into Tears
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#54 Good For O.p
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#55 Just Cried A Tear Of Happiness After Reading This. I Broke The Cycle Finally. My Kid Does Not Have To Go Through The Pain Of Dealing With Nparents
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#56 Pretty Much
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#57 I Feel Like A Lot Of Us Need To See This…
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#58 Oh The Invalidation And Pain We Go Through
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#59 💯💯
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#60 I Considered It Relevant
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#61 I Need To Keep Telling Myself This
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#62 Acting Dumb
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#63 That’s It, That Is The Excuse
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#64 I’ve Been Doing Research In My Free Time To Un-Learn All The Negativity And Toxic Behaviours. Thanks For Nothing
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#65 I Felt This
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#66 I Feel Attacked Rn 🙃
Image source: CharmandertheLegend
#67 Man If This Aint My Parents
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#68 Guilty
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#69 I’m Walking On Eggshells, Oooh
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#70 Something A Lot Of People Here Have Heard Before
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#71 The Long Term Affects That Are Engraved
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#72 Is This A Common Thing?
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#73 Anyone Been Through This
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#74 Saw This And I Thought Of You All
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#75 I Always Thought I Was The Only Person Who Had Created A Different Version Of Myself To Be Around My Nmom. Grateful I Found This Group
Image source: EarthBaby87
#76 Saw This On 9gag
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#77 Meeting My In Laws And Seeing What Real Families Are Like
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#78 Thought Of My Nmom When I Saw This
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#79 One Day At A Time
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#80 Like This
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#81 Hmm
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#82 Not Necessarily Narcissistic But Definitely Displays A Lack Of Respect/Boundaries
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#83 So True
Image source: PresidentMayor
#84 Saw This On Twitter, It Reminded Me Of When Nparent Used To Go Through My Phone And Diary Even When I Was Like 6. Did Anyone Else Have Any Experiences Like This?
Image source: iIiwys
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