In one of her pieces for The Guardian, writer Gaby Hinsliff argues that it’s time for people to stop rolling their eyes whenever they hear someone say “modern male struggle”.
To get a better understanding of what it entails, let’s take a look at a Reddit thread that asked the platform’s men what they want to stop being judged for.
From their physical features to how they behave in public, continue scrolling to check out some of their top-voted replies.
#1
Being short. Literally no one has control over their height. Judge people for the things they *can* control.
Image source: Ourobius, jinto mathew
#2
Drinking cocktails instead of beer. Or “girly drinks”. It’s my money dammit and I’m gonna drink something that tastes good
Image source: Tebowtime195, Helena Lopes
#3
Interacting with kids. Especially younger kids, the majority of men arnt pedophiles.
Image source: Cautious_Travel_4762, Anna Shvets
#4
Seeking support with mental health. I grew up in an environment where this wasn’t ok, but in adulthood I very much needed help working through things and didn’t have the tools or understanding to do it alone.
Image source: wolf_talon, Alex Green
#5
complimenting another man.
Image source: Overall_Sandwich_671, Anna Vander Stel
#6
Having hobbies people define as effeminate.
Such as baking, gardening, textiles, stuff like that.
Elaborating, I love gardening myself, I have a growing garden myself and it has helped immensely with anger issues I used to have, and I’ve had guests over who always assume it’s a product of my wife’s work, which is why I mentioned it.
Image source: Foxtrot-Actual, Jamie Fenn
#7
Taking their full paternity leave as permitted by their employer.
Image source: gloebe10, Kelli McClintock
#8
Showing emotion, or not showing emotion. We should get to choose how we feel.
Image source: Crossfyre13, Andrew Neel
#9
Not being in the mood for sex. Women (or men) can take it so personally. Sometimes we’re too exhausted.
Image source: jayeskimo, cottonbro studio
#10
Taking long showers. I wish that I was able to take a long shower without everybody in the household thinking I’m having a wank.
I just want to enjoy hot water, it’s relaxing.
Image source: Androtical, Victor Furtuna
#11
Stoicism. I get it’s the modern era and people wanna be open about their feelings and be free to cry. But it cuts both ways. If a man wants to keep their emotions private and in check, he shouldn’t be judged as being regressive or cold.
#12
not peeing standing up. sitting is so much more comfortable
Image source: aleee_j0, Miriam Alonso
#13
Being shy
Image source: RadiantHC, Anna Shvets
#14
For not having a house, not having a car, or not being financially stable. I’m doing what I can, ok?
Image source: Axolotl_SAM, Ahmet Polat
#15
Getting physically taken care of, for instance massage, spa that kind of thing. Why should women be the only ones to get that stuff? Massages are the best thing…. especially if you do lots of heavy lifting, sports, you know “man” stuff
Image source: Ginger-Beefcake, Emiliano Vittoriosi
#16
Expressing ourselves.
My wife is pregnant and has a full time job, since she’s been pregnant I’ve taken on doing 100% of the cooking, cleaning, errands, groceries, rubbing her feet, taking care of her (When she gets home from work, I put on her favorite show and have her relax the rest of the day, I refuse to have her do any work) etc. This is additional to me already working my job where I pay all our bills, do yard work, vehicle maintenance, etc. I work from the time I get up to the moment we go to bed.
I love my wife very much and want this time for her to be as easy as possible because I know she’s having it tough. She knows that I’ve been busting my a*s lately, but anyone on the outside think men do nothing during this time. Conversations with other people usually go in the way of berating me (Or men in the relationship) by insinuating that I need to step it up more, I’m not doing enough, and if I dare bring up the fact that I’m overwhelmed I’m seen as weak and unfit to be her husband.
I get it though, there are some really s****y guys out there and they’re taking their frustration out on me, but for those of us who are actually putting forth an effort, it’s demoralizing. This type of behavior is why a lot of men simply say nothing because we’d rather not say anything for 15 minutes than deal with hours of drama.
Image source: Krieger8907, Ivan Samkov
#17
Parenting kids, Working in primary education and being babysitters. People just automatically assume that when a man is doing these things that he’s a pedophile and not to be trusted. But women are never suspect? It doesn’t make sense. If you are concerned with protecting your kids from unsavory individuals, do a background check.
Image source: Argreath2, Tatiana Syrikova
#18
Existing.
I’m not a rapist because I’m out at night. I’m not a predator because I have a child in my company. I’m not dangerous because you’re defenseless. I’m not a creep because you can’t tell why I’m there. I’m not an incel because you don’t have empathy for men.
Image source: LoanerPersonality
#19
Getting a sports car or new clothes or s**t. I couldn’t afford the cars I wanted when I was younger. It’s not some phase or a mid-life crisis. Stop labeling men as immature for enjoying things they couldn’t when they were younger. Maturity is not defined by one’s hobbies or interests. And I just like the car.
Image source: Envy_The_King, Jan Kopřiva
#20
Taking the sudden wide step to free our balls from sticking to our thigh
Image source: AJSK18, Tom Sodoge
#21
Having trust issues with women. We are suppose to accept women have trust issues with men, but guys are taken less seriously even when they have solid reasons.
Image source: Acryllus, cottonbro studio
#22
Being close to their parents. Just because a man is close to his parents/ mother doesn’t mean he’s a “mamas boy.”
Image source: Avocadofarmer32, cottonbro studio
#23
Bringing up something that bothers them about their partner, from the major to minor issues.
Honestly, having to deal with the 2 hour long fallout about how said issues make YOUR PARTNER FEEL after they hear it, makes it not worth it. So that s**t gets bottled up.
Image source: JustLetItShine, Diva Plavalaguna
#24
Having a tea party with their daughter.
Image source: demi1z
#25
Being lonely and depressed.
Image source: AageKush, Nik Shuliahin
#26
“Patriarchy” or being a sucessfull white man even though I was born in poverty..
It’s not my fault the world was how it was before I was born.. I don’t belittle women or think they are lesser..
Image source: NonBinarySvinja
#27
Being happy. Idc if we’re wearing PPE and everyone on this jobsite is a depressed alcoholic, I’m gonna whistle once in a while and wear my SpongeBob socks.
Image source: van_Beardenstein
#28
Not being comfortable around kids. It doesn’t mean they can’t handle kids or don’t like kids. Most likely, it just means they’re new to it.
Image source: YeePepper, Mizuno K
#29
Complimenting women. I was walking past this lady with brilliant bright pink hair and said “I love your hair”. She looked at me like I was insane… :(
Image source: Illumi_Zoldyck1
#30
I’m a woman but Id like to share based on what I’ve seen other women judge men on that they genuinely should not be. There’s more but these are the most immediate thoughts.
-liking to spend time with their SO. It’s amazing how many women think it’s weird their man actually wants to spend a lot of time with them
-wanting to/hanging with the boys
-liking/playing video games
-liking/playing with toys
-taking care of themselves (grooming, self care)
-not being handymen
-crying, being vulnerable
-seeking or needing help with mental health issues
-not wanting kids
-not being financially stable or secure or just generally not having their career life together by a certain age
-still living with parents in late 20’s+
Image source: thoughtsofalo
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