Unfortunately, we’re not mind-readers—at least… most of us aren’t. That means that if we want somebody to know something, we have to vocalize it. Or hope beyond hope that they’ll pick up on the trail of clues we leave in our body language.
The men of Reddit have come together and shared the things that they wish women knew and the things that are important to them, in the context of romantic relationships and beyond. They opened up about cute things like the fact that men really do enjoy hugs and compliments and also broached practical topics like the need to be alone from time to time. (Hey, boundaries are important, especially in relationships.)
As you’re scrolling down, upvote the posts that you agree with. And you should also swing by the comment section to share the things that you wish your partners knew, too, dear Pandas. Bored Panda spoke about the dynamic between men and women, and why it’s important to communicate about what’s most important to us with dating and relationship expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man. Scroll down to read what he had to say.
#1
Just say it straight. Don’t make me read between the lines or trying and take a hint. How in the heck am I supposed to know you’re into me if you don’t say it. I don’t know you well enough to read your brand of body language, but I’m interested in you cause you seem cool.
If you respond with a “no” to my interest I will respect your boundaries, don’t expect me to “try harder”. No means no.
Verbal communication is way better.
Image source: [deleted]
#2
You know that complaint that women sometimes have that just because they are polite to you doesn’t mean they’re interested in you?
Yeah, that works both ways. I’m not saying “good morning” because I want to bed you, I’m not holding the door for you because I think you’ll reward me with some nookie for doing so, etc. etc.
I’m doing so because, like you, I’m a decent human being and am being polite.
Image source: just_some_a–hole, chris_jolly
#3
Women body shaming men is just as bad as men body shaming women.
Image source: NoodleBoy456
#4
Girl: I’m dropping so many hints! Why doesn’t he get them?
Boy: I think the girl is dropping hints but I’m not sure I want to risk my friendship and embarrassment, so I’ll just ignore them.
Image source: Qepperoni, Ekaterina
#5
Please ask us out. It makes us feel wanted and loved.
Image source: SalFunction12, Hac Hai
#6
Just because I’m not talking, doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying my time with you.
Image source: Denmasterflex, Jonas Weckschmied
#7
We like random gifts, we like random hugs, we like random signs of affection and love — sometimes just a cup of coffee in my favorite mug is enough to convince me it’s going to be a good day.
Image source: Additional_Breath_89, Anastasia Sklyar
#8
We don’t know where we want to eat either.
Image source: NorthYorkJoe, Chan Walrus
#9
Sometimes stuff is just difficult. For no reason I can also be sad, just because I don’t cry doesn’t mean I’m not sad.
Also
We don’t want to be the ones who always initiates sex, it makes us feel creepy sometimes.
Image source: Psychological_Pay_36, Gadiel Lazcano
#10
When we’re start dating, all other women don’t magically become unattractive. No, I don’t want to be with them, but some are still pretty. I will look. I won’t stare. It means nothing and has no influence on my feelings for you. Btw, I’ll probably look at that guy with huge arms too, and it won’t bother me if you do the same. Attractive people are just beautiful things in nature like a sunset or a mountain view. Go ahead and look. Enjoy. I don’t want to stick my d**k in any of them.
Image source: TMAC77TNM
#11
We need just as much support as you do, it’s always a shock when a guys kills himself until you look back at all the subtle cries for help. We’re screaming on the inside and we need someone to let us know it’s okay.
Image source: fosterdylan, Daniel Reche
#12
Men love being the target of a romantic gesture. Many men never have been.
Image source: GamerFromJump, Brittani Burns
#13
We aren’t great with hints. Communication is king.
Image source: I-moth, Juan Pablo Serrano A
#14
We actually really want to be complimented too. A 60 year old women complimented me 5 years ago and it still makes me feel good, which just shows how little we get compliments.
Image source: Snoo_95427, Marina Abrosimova
#15
Get away from me at night in the summertime, I still love you. I’m just hot and don’t want to snuggle.
Image source: Ragnaroknight, Jess Bailey Designs
#16
It’s ok to make the first move. Guys can be shy too. Come talk to me instead of staring at me.
Image source: qualitygoats**t
#17
If you don’t want to hear the truth about something don’t ask me to tell you the truth. Because I’m going to tell you the truth every time.
Image source: absurd-comment
#18
When we say we’re thinking about nothing, the majority of the time it literally is just nothing or ridiculous scenarios that we make up that sound stupid when said out loud.
Image source: yeetgodmcnechass, Jason Strull
#19
When we tell women that we don’t know how we feel about something it’s usually true and we genuinely don’t really understand how we are supposed to feel. I personally wasn’t allowed to express emotions growing up and it turned into me not being able to understand my emotions.
Image source: rb2130, Adrian Swancar
#20
I really like to hang out with my friends because I love them. Not because I don’t want to spend time with you.
Image source: haankip, Stephan Seeber
#21
We aren’t unemotional, we just may not show it as often. It hurts when I’ve had to hear from my mother or sister say things like “you’re a guy, you aren’t good with your emotions” or “you don’t understand being emotional”. I do. I absolutely do. Saying things like “I don’t understand” in such an arrogant, condescending tone only makes me want to show them less.
Image source: TheMando9
#22
All the hurtful things they say don’t just magically disappear from men’s memories. We have feelings too. And criticizing a man for being honest with feelings as not being manly is not only cruel but also highly ironic considering there’s a constant yearning for men with emotion.
Image source: TheGhostofYourPast, Ekrulila
#23
Not all men of course, and some women have it too but…….The nothing box is real.
The nothing box is a small section of the brain that contains absolutely nothing at all. When we enter the nothing box we genuinely are not thinking a single thought. There is no song playing in our head, there is no thought process, there’s so much nothing that we don’t even recognise at the time that we’re not thinking anything, because to do so would be a thought. If someone looks like their brain has just checked out and they have a dead-eyed stare into middle distance then they’re probably in the nothing box.
The passage of time ceases to exist, no physical sensation makes it through. Once in the nothing box, you stay in there until some external stimulus or the formation of an errant thought pulls you out of it. Leaving the nothing box is the first time that you are even aware you were in the nothing box.
It’s like a nap for the brain while all other functions remain.
Image source: Mischief_Makers, Ümit Bulut
#24
I want real knight armor for my birthday but I’m not allowed to say so because society forces me to hide it.
Image source: FortniteKevin, wikimedia.commons
#25
If I’m lying in bed with someone, just enjoying the moment together, I should be able to just enjoy the moment and let my mind drift to wherever it’s going. If you want to talk about the future of the relationship or something, that’s great and we can do that if you start that conversation, but if you ask me out of the blue what I’m thinking about, and I say Bolbi’s “Slap slap slap” song from Jimmy Neutron, then you shouldn’t get mad at me just because it’s not the thing you wanted me to be thinking about! Just tell me you want to talk about the relationship and we can do that!
Image source: SolarisIX, Edward Eyer
#26
Playing “hard to get” does not work for a lot of people.
Image source: LavaTGP, Tirachard Kumtanom
#27
If you take the initiative and ask an average looking dude out, there’s like a 99% chance he’ll say yes.
Image source: Mizar97, Clay Banks
#28
When I get angry at my video games I’m not an angry person. I just f**kin suck at Dark Souls.
Image source: MrDrewE
#29
Sometimes men just need some alone time. (From everyone and everything)
Image source: ToastyTheToastr, Priscilla Du Preez
#30
When I say “I don’t mind,” I really mean it. If I did mind, I would say so.
Image source: MaygarRodub, cottonbro
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