On the surface, infidelity seems like it’s easy enough to define. It’s a simple binary of doing or not doing certain things. Either you cheated or you didn’t. However, life is a lot more complicated than that. Someone can have not “done anything,” but still cross their partner’s boundaries.
Someone asked “What’s not really cheating but can count as cheating?” and netizens shared their best examples. We also got in touch with the person who started the thread to learn more. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorite examples and be sure to comment your own thoughts and ideas below.
#1
If you wouldn’t do it with your partner standing right there, don’t do it. You know where the line is. You know when you’re toeing it. You know when you’ve crossed it. Don’t play dumb.
Image source: Scared_of_the_KGB, ira / pexels (not the actual photo)
#2
Intentionally deleting texts so your partner doesn’t see them. If it needs to be hidden, it’s already shady.
Image source: fairytaalecassy, Pixabay / pexels (not the actual photo)
#3
In a relationship, if my partner knows that I would really like to do something with them and they don’t want to do the thing with me, but then do the exact thing with someone else.
For example: If I am a bike enjoyer and I always ask my partner to come with me for a bike ride and they always say no and that they don’t like riding bikes, but then the one time a friend asks them for a bike ride together they go.
Image source: Impossible_Form_2826, Munbaik Cycling Clothing / pexels (not the actual photo)
#4
We went to brunch with a group of friends. My wife couldn’t finish her meal and said “does anyone want my bacon?” instead of immediately defaulting to offering it to me, her husband. Still haven’t forgiven her.
Image source: Accomplished_Egg6239, Vincent Rivaud / pexels (not the actual photo)
#5
Having a work wife/husband. The only people I’m aware of doing this, yeah they were cheaters.
Image source: RavingSquirrel11, Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo)
#6
Stopping at Dairy Queen for the Blizzard of the month, and savoring every delicious bite in your car before bringing home all the healthy food for your hubby’s diet.
Image source: CrabbyPatt111, Sarah Stierch / flickr (not the actual photo)
#7
Flirting with someone online and calling it harmless fun.
Image source: Galactic_Goose_3, Monstera Production / pexels (not the actual photo)
#8
I guess when I found out he had taken another girls underwear from her bathroom floor because he liked her. Technically not cheating, but I kinda wish he had cheated rather than that.
Image source: Far_Change9253, cottonbro studio/ pexels (not the actual photo)
#9
Emotional infidelity. People know when they’re giving something to someone else that is sacred to the relationship.
Image source: pastyoureyescheese, Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo)
#10
Suggesting opening up your relationship with someone specific in mind.
Image source: SadlyNotDannyDeVito, Budgeron Bach / pexels (not the actual photo)
#11
My partner made a whole plate of nachos while I was taking a nap and didn’t save me any, he might as well just have an affair at that point honestly.
Image source: awholedamngarden, Karolina Kaboompics / pexels (not the actual photo)
#12
Allowing someone to think they have a chance with you (in other words, leading them on), or not shutting someone down immediately when you’re in a relationship and intentionally withholding the fact that you’re taken out of the conversation…
Source: Been There, Done That ✔️.
Image source: adeduedemballa, Bethany Ferr/ pexels (not the actual photo)
#13
When you know the person wouldn’t be okay with it if you told them or asked them about it, so you don’t tell them so they won’t say no and you can pretend it’s the same as if they agreed to it.
Image source: 4URprogesterone
#14
Getting coffee with Marisa Tomei when you find out she’s into short, stocky, bald men.
Image source: rob_s_458, Columbia Pictures Television
#15
Keeping pictures of your old crush on your computer with her husband and kids cut out of them.
Image source: PinkMonorail, Karolina Kaboompics / pexels (not the actual photo)
#16
I read a fun Reddit post about a woman who developed a fake relationship (sexting included) with an AI version of Arthur Morgan. She stopped spending time with her partner and only confided with the AI about problems.
Is it cheating if it’s not a real person? Does the answer matter if the feelings are real?
Image source: add0607, Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo)
#17
Flirting with someone to the point where it crosses emotional boundaries—it’s like playing with fire without getting burned.
Image source: kennagiveahug, cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)
#18
Watching advance episodes that you and your partner both watches.
Image source: TooStrong4U1991, cottonbro studio/ pexels (not the actual photo)
#19
Allowing yourself to be in a situation where you have the option to cheat.
You can stop that well in advance.
Image source: dasaigaijin
#20
Secretly paying for Only Fans behind your partners back.
Image source: gibtnlb, Eren Li / pexels (not the actual photo)
#21
When my wife goes to Taco Bell without me.
Image source: luckynug
#22
“Monkey Branching”, aka approaching a romantically compatible partner to pursue a friendship with them that’s entirely innocent and platonic and is not breaching any sort of boundaries in any way – but the itended goal is to keep them in the loop and stay in touch so that you have an exist strategy should your current relationship go south.
Image source: Reasonable-Mischief, RDNE Stock project/ pexels (not the actual photo)
#23
My first serious relationship I made friends with a coworker at work. On my side, it was nothing more than friendship so I did not understand why my ex was upset. This actually ended our relationship. A few days after my coworker made her move.
I didn’t see it at the time because I only saw her as a friend. But apparently being friends with someone who likes you is cheating.
Image source: SeesawOne485, Artem Podrez / pexels (not the actual photo)
#24
My wife had a dream I hooked up with her friend and was mad at me for weeks. Not sure if that counts or not.
Image source: Thrillhouse801, Craig Adderley/ pexels (not the actual photo)
#25
Having dating apps installed but stopped using them.
Image source: No-Cauliflower-4727, Nik / unsplash (not the actual photo)
#26
Using pet names that you use with your partner….especially with someone your partner already doesn’t trust.
Image source: Spiritual_Vacation62
#27
One of my friends once found messages from his gf telling some guy she was online friends with how if she gave him a lap dance her moves would make him bust in his pants lmao he was like “is this cheating,” i said bro that’s basically sexting and emotional cheating, you can’t be telling some guy you’d make him flood his khakis with a lap dance that’s crazy.
Image source: realfakejames
#28
Being nice and still hanging out with someone who is obviously trying to get with you.
Image source: SexyAriana532, William Fortunato/ pexels (not the actual photo)
#29
Lying about your past. A sexual relationship is founded on certain terms, one of which is your past. If you have lied about those terms, then you have broken the basic contract.
Image source: teraza95, Diva Plavalaguna/ pexels (not the actual photo)
#30
Deep emotional connection with someone to the point you feel like they understand you better than your current partner. It’s always a trap because you don’t really know them that well and it’s just one aspect in which they seem to be better, while in fact they might be not.
Image source: ProfessorCautious798, Oleksandr P / pexels (not the actual photo)
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