The Vampire Diaries 1.12 “Unpleasantville” Recap

Ever had the taste slapped out of your mouth? Well, then you didn’t watch The Vampire Diaries tonight…

Almost each segment of tonight’s episode had a big reveal that took the story into a whole new chapter. There is new/old blood in town and they have an agenda. We also got a major follow-up to the “Elena’s Adopted” storyline and more info on Alaric’s wife Isobel. There is so much stuff to share that I feel like I am being stingy by procrastinating and not going on with this recap… Please forgive me. Let’s move on…

Setting Them Up

Elena and Stefan discuss who the hell could be the hooded vampire that is stalking the town now. Elena is spooked and Stefan doesn’t waste anytime arming Elena with enough vervain that should take care of her and all her friends. He even gives her jewelry to place the vervain in and a kiss to boot. Downstairs the doorbell rings and Jeremy, who is working on a drawing of a vampire answers it. It’s the most unusual pizza delivery boy that I have ever seen. Elena comes downstairs and pays the guy after Jeremy invites him in! Why does this matter? Because pizza delivery boy is our hooded vampire (Dillon Casey).

That reveal didn’t take long at all!

The next day, Damon tears the Salvatore mansion up looking for a certain journal. Stefan knows that Damon is up to something and is up on the fact that Bree must’ve told Damon something dealing with reopening the tomb that Katherine and the other vamps are locked in. Damon doesn’t have time for 20 questions and shoos Stefan off and out of his business.

At the school, Elena gives Caroline a necklace (laced with vervain of course) and gets Caroline to come clean on the deal with her and Matt. Caroline says that she and Matt have “peaked” in terms of friendship and that the only problem now is that Matt is till not over Elena, a fact that bothers both girls.

At the Mystic Grill, Matt signs up for a job to be a busboy and talks with Ben (special guest star Sean Faris), who used to be a popular jock and is now a bartender at the Grill. Meanwhile Elena discusses the shattering news of her adoption to Bonnie, who tells Elena that Jenna is the best source for an answer and that Elena should let her explain everything. After Elena leaves, Damon approaches Bonnie, but the witch is not buying his crap. She gets help from Ben, who stares down Damon until the vamp walks away. Ben then begins to flirt with a willing Bonnie.

Outside the Grill, Elena gets a call from the hooded vampire in a Scream-type fashion. God, how I LOVE those movies. Anyway, Elena gets in her car and speeds away.

Revelations and Relationships

Elena runs to Stefan after her call from Ghostface Hooded Vampire and Stefan bestows to her the Vampire Tracker compass. He then tells her the history behind it and that he knew first set of Gilberts.

Matt and Caroline paint sets for the Decade Dance and look like two little lovebirds in the making. Not. Matt reveals to Caroline that he got a job as a busboy at the Grill. Caroline ponders about Matt working, which for some reason ticks him off. Huh?

Anna (Malese Jow) checks in on Jeremy at the Grill to see how things went with his paper. Jeremy blows off the aspect of the vampires after Anna brings them up, which dampens her spirits a little. She then tries to ask him out again, but Jeremy announces that he’s “punch boy” at the dance that night for English credit. That sucks.

Back at the Giberts, Elena still gives her aunt the silent treatment until she realizes that Jenna doesn’t deserve it. Elena then asks Jenna to tell her everything and boy does Jenna spill! Jenna reveals that Mrs. Gilbert was going to tell Elena one day and proceeds with the truth. When Dr. Gilbert was leaving his practice one day, a 16 yr old runaway girl was in labor and was about to burst on the good doctor’s doorstep. So he delivered the baby (Elena) and gave the girl and tot a place to stay. One day the girl left and didn’t bother taking newborn Elena with her. In stepped the Gilberts as parents, because they couldn’t conceive themselves at the time. By Dr. Gilbert being a doctor and having access to all the right documents, he forged them and didn’t have to worry about anyone questioning him. Got that? Isn’t that juice delectable? Elena asks Jenna one last question about her birth mother. Jenna only gives a name: Isobel.

Isobel as in Alaric’s Isobel? Hmm…

Damon scribbles down names on a note pad of who I believe are ancestors of The Council (Benjamin Lockwood, Honoria Fell, John Gilbert, and another name I can’t see, but I know the first name is William). Stefan drops in with their dad’s journal, claiming that it was what Damon was looking for that morning and the tome is devoid of anything dealing with the tomb and how to open it. Then Stefan offers to get his brother out of town by helping him get only Katherine out of the tomb and sending the both of them on their way. Damon is leery about Stefan’s offer as I am, but who cares? That plan further brings the confrontation between Elena and Katherine even closer.

Speaking of our heroine, she is getting dolled up for the dance when the Vamp Tracker starts to go haywire. There is a vamp on/in the premises! Elena immediately calls Stefan, but Damon answers Stefan’s phone since Stefan left it behind. He calms Elena down by saying that Stefan had left to pick her up and Elena deduces that is why the Vamp Tracker went off. Um, no.

The Hooded Vamp Guy is literally over her head.

He lands on her and goes in for the kill, but Stefan arrives in time to sling his ass across the room. Hooded Vamp Guy then leaves in a hurry. Whew!

Back to the Future: The Vampire Diaries Style

Elena, Stefan and Damon all plot to take out the Hooded Vamp Guy, because not only is he a menace, but he was invited into Elena’s house as well. They plan to show up at the dance so the idiotic vamp will show his face, because let’s face it: a smart vamp would lay low and not attend the thing. Clearly if Hooded Vamp Guy shows up, then he is a bonafide idiot.

The dance is packed and the trio walk in and shock Alaric, who immediately gives a mean mug to Damon. Bonnie and Caroline are shocked (and irked) as well to see Damon and want to burn him at the stake. Meanwhile, Alaric and Jenna get to know each other. They discuss Isobel and how Alaric “ponders” who killed her. Of course, he is mean mugging Damon while he says this.

Damon tries to “be polite” to Caroline and Bonnie, who both leave the dance immediately. Stefan and Elena dance while the dumb ass Hooded Vamp Guy shows up, totally clashing with the status quo and the dress code, because I don’t think emo was even a thought in the ’50s. Maybe beatnik.

Speaking of the 50s, Elena tries to get Stefan to reveal to her how was it like in the 50s, but the both of them are really trying to suss out the vamp. Meanwhile, Anna shows up and kind of impresses Jeremy, who still tells her that she is pseudo-stalking him. She barters for him to humor her since she doesn’t get to go to school dances.

Bonnie and Caroline arrive at the Mystic Grill and Bonnie immediately catches Ben in her peripheral, but Caroline declares her distaste in a football player has been who is now a lowly bartender. Too bad Matt overhears this as he walks by, giving a cold shoulder to flubber mouth Caroline. Later, Caroline laments her bad luck, but Bonnie is feeling bold as she approaches Ben and works for the digits, while Caroline sits alone. Then Matt walks past her again and doesn’t speak and is a real ass. He then throws her line of “loser bartenders” back in Caroline’s face and it all clicks for her. Give the girl a hand! Now give her a tissue…

Back at the dance, Alaric approaches Stefan and engages in 20 questions, which sets Damon’s alarms off. Alaric is such an amateur… Anna helps Jeremy with cups and asks to borrow his family’s journal. When Jeremy reveals that he gave the journal to Alaric, Anna freaks out… then she VAMPS OUT!!!!!!

She quickly fixes her faux pas, but the damage is done. This tramp needs to meet a stake and fast!

Elena and Stefan start to really tear up the dance floor as Stefan shows Elena some quick moves from the era. Meanwhile, Anna goes to the hooded vamp guy and tells him to stick to the plan (which is retrieve the journal to open the tomb) and to leave Elena alone. But the hooded vamp, whose name is Noah, decides he still wants to have some fun with Elena, because she looks like Katherine. Is there ANYONE whose life this girl hasn’t touched?!?!?! Anna is worried that Noah will screw things up for them, but his bone-headed arrogance is just uncanny and I plead for Anna to stake him instead.

Elena spots the hooded vamp guy and warns Stefan, who chases after the frakking DECOY! Elena, on the other hand, gets a call from Noah, who says that he will kill Jeremy if she doesn’t go into a secluded area. Elena does this and we got a chase on our hands. Noah gives Elena a run for her money, but she is not a typical horror movie victim. She is Sidney Prescott, Nancy Thompson, aka The Final Girl all rolled in one. She fights Noah off by stabbing him with pencils and finally breaking a broom in half to stake him with. He blocks the blow from the broom, but luckily Damon and Stefan show up to beat the crap out of Noah and his stupidity. He gloats about toying with Elena and reveals that a) the Salvatore Brothers aren’t the only ones Katherine sired and 2) that they should remember who he is. Oh, did I mention that they have the stake in his chest the entire time? They torture Noah until he breaks, revealing that The Grimoire is the way into the tomb and that Jonathan Gilbert’s journal is the key. Damon then asks who is working with Noah, who denies to tell. Meanwhile, Anna watches all of this, but hides when Alaric appears. He sees the staking of Noah and walks away. Damon catches up with him and tries to glamour Alaric to forget what he saw. But Alaric, who lies about everything Damon asks him, is holding vervain in his hand and gets away unscathed, unbeknownst to Damon, that is.

Twists and “OMGs”!!!!!

Damon feels that Noah isn’t working alone, but Stefan has figured everything out. The Grimoire belonged to Emily, Bonnie’s ancestor, and when she was burned at the stake, The Council took her belongings and hid them. Stefan deduced that Damon thought that their father’s journal would reveal where Emily’s stuff was buried. Stefan says his offer still stands, which Damon is leery of still, as am I. But Stefan is adamant about his stance, because he wants to see the back of Damon’s head leaving town and never returning.

Meanwhile, Caroline tries to apologize profusely to Matt, who is a big ass douchebag. She wants to talk things over, but Matt ruins it by saying that he isn’t over Elena yet, which is a lie, but Caroline sees what he is doing and doesn’t bother to wait around for him to explain himself. Now the both of them are dumbasses. Caroline leaves the bar, but Matt trails her in his truck and catches up with her. He calls to her, but she ignores him, which prompts Matt to get out the truck and plant a nice kiss on her. He smiles, telling her that it will never work. They continue to kiss…

Alaric takes Jenna home and the two give each other the googly eyes. He apologizes for talking about Isobel incessantly, but it doesn’t dawn on me, nor Jenna, that Alaric never mentioned his wife’s name. When he tells Jenna that her name was Isobel, Jenna blinks and asks where was Isobel from. Alaric reveals that Isobel was a Virginian… and that she was from around the local area.

BING-FRAKKING-O!!!!

Stefan reveals to Elena the promise he made Damon, but admits that it is a ruse to fool Damon and gain his trust. I knew it! Stefan goes on saying that he kept it from Elena, because Elena bonded with Damon. Elena says she’s not an idiot and can still see Damon for what he is. I love her. She says she will stand by whatever decision Stefan makes.

The last scene of the night involves Anna stalking Ben as he closes up the Mystic Grill. She attacks, but Ben senses her and throws Anna against the wall. He’s VAMPED OUT TOO!!!!!!!

Anna reveals that Noah is dead, which is a good thing, because he was going to screw them up. Ben reveals that he has Bonnie under his spell. They then plot to steal Jonathan Gilbert’s journal, share a kiss, and go skipping off into the night…

SHUT THE FRAK UP!!!!!!!!

From The Journals of The Council

– So we had a new vamp trio in town and they have been decimated down to two, courtesy on Noah’s idiotic behavior. Seriously, his menacing features left as soon as his smirk squirmed its way onto his face. Will not miss him. But let’s discuss Anna for a bit…

– How in God’s name is she walking in daylight? Will someone please explain that to me? That whole “the Salvatore brothers are the only ones to have mystical daywalking rings” is wearing a little thin with this anomaly. She seems to be an ancient vamp and Ben seems to be fresh. By Noah not only being infatuated by Elena’s resemblance to Katherine, but also knowing the Salvatore brothers, one would think that Noah is an ancient vamp as well. But his action proved so amateurish that I have a hard time believing that he could’ve been sired by Katherine. Anyway, they are good villains for the Brothers Salvatore.

– Ben better not harm a hair on Bonnie! ‘Nuff said.

– About damn time that Caroline and Matt got together! I like them together more than Vicki and Jeremy, only because they are less annoying.

– Isobel (or is it Isabelle?) could be (I bet that she is) Elena’s mother. Talk about not seeing that one coming!!! So the question that now remains is who is Elena’s daddy?!?!

Revelations abounded tonight along with homages to Scream and other slasher flicks, but next week seems like it will be even be better and you know I can’t wait! See you guys until then!!!