Season 4 Comparison & Why Dean Doesn’t Like to Talk About His Feelings
After seeing this episode, can you see the similarities not only in season 4, but also in seasons 2 and 3? Consider the following:
In season 2, Dean was devastated after John’s death. Sam wanted to talk about it with Dean and flat out told him that he felt guilty that his last conversation with his father was one of anger. Dean had no similar desire to share with his brother. For several episodes, we saw him acting more and more reckless and angry. Finally, he told Sam that he felt incredibly guilty about the fact that John gave up his life so that Dean could live.
In season 3, Dean was silently going crazy with the possibility of his deal coming due. He kept trying to be nonchalant, but Sam saw through his act. Later, Dean admitted to Sam that he was afraid to die.
In season 4, Dean returned from Hell with the knowledge that he had tortured souls down there in order to stop his own torture. Sam could tell something was wrong, but Dean, at first, denied remembering Hell. Later, he kept drinking to dull his pain and refused to tell his brother what was wrong. Eventually, he admitted to Sam what he had done. But let’s be clear, nothing about Dean’s Hell secret had anything to do with Ruby, Sam being addicted to demon blood, or the problems that were driving them apart.
In season 7, Dean is carrying the secret of having killed Amy against his brother’s wishes. In addition, he’s feeling responsible for so many things, including being upset over the loss of Castiel and worrying about Sam’s mental state. Dean’s drinking is worse than ever, as is his desire to keep quiet about his feelings. Sam is absolutely aware that Dean is depressed about something, even if he’s not sure of the specifics. In fact, at the end of the episode he confronted Dean directly and said ‘I know there’s something you’re not telling me’.
Dean keeps his feelings buried for a variety of reasons and has always done so since the pilot episode when he flat out said he doesn’t like ‘chick flick moments’. Sometimes it’s because he feels guilty or doesn’t want to be rejected, but most of the time it’s just because Dean has always accepted more responsibility than is really owed to him and doesn’t want to talk about it. Like he said at the end of this episode, that’s just the kind of person Dean is.
Personally, I think the reason Dean feels overly-responsible as a result of his upbringing. From the moment John asked a young Dean to take his brother from their burning house, Dean has had to take on responsibility that was far too much for a young boy. Growing up, he had to listen to his father explain that he missed Christmas or moved them around because he was busy saving people and getting vengeance for their mother. While Sam wanted to reject the hunting life, Dean did everything he could to embrace it and his father’s approval, which led to this overly large sense of personal responsibility. At the end of this episode he tried to turn it into a joke, but it fell flat, because we know that Dean may not feel responsible for unemployment, but he certainly feels responsible for a lot.
In addition, just because Dean is keeping a big secret from his brother (particularly like his Hell secret in season 4), doesn’t mean their relationship is acrimonious. Right now, their relationship is very strong after seasons of distrust. I don’t know how Dean’s secret coming out will affect that, but I feel confident that they can weather that storm when the time comes. Of course, the pattern seems to be that Sam alternately pushes Dean to open up and just silently supports him, which eventually leads to Dean telling Sam how he feels when he’s ready to share. It happened in seasons 2, 3 and 4. But since Dean’s present secret relates directly to Sam, I don’t know if he’ll be the one to tell Sam the truth, or whether it will come out another way.
Finally, Dean’s drinking should come as no surprise to anyone who has watched this show. Dean, like John, has consistently used alcohol to cope with his problems. Sam isn’t clueless about the fact that Dean has basically become a functioning alcoholic over the last three seasons since returning from Hell. I don’t know if Dean will ever stop using booze as a crutch, but I do hope that finding a way to deal with his feelings will make him ease up on the sauce.
A friend of mine rightly pointed out that it is a bit hypocritical that Dean is demanding honesty from Sam when he prefers to keep his feelings to himself, but that’s always been Dean’s M.O. so there’s no reason to think that should have changed, no matter the state of the brothers’relationship.
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Thanks for your review. It proved to be insightful and revealing. I love that you notice all the fine points. I rewatching the episode now and loving all the references you made topast shows. Thanks again and keep up the great work.
What a perfect review. I actually have a crick in my neck from nodding while reading every page. Thank you for such great insights!
I totally agree especially your point about some of the infighting that I've noticed on some sites. Gosh, this is a show about two brothers and I believe both have great story lines this year.
As for tonight's episode, it was great! Bloody where needed and funny at other times. Wonderful job by the writers and the pace of the episode was terrific. I loved it! I also liked that Sam and Dean didn't kill the Starks. I liked how Don saved the boys at the end. Good allies to have in the future. I mean, they're both over 800 years old and maybe they can help the boys figure out something to stop the Leviathans.
"Frankly, I believe that both brothers have their good and bad qualities, but each of them are equally as important to the show. For the life of me, I don’t understand the in-fighting among certain factions of the Supernatural fandom. Can’t we all just get along?"
Thank you! I've been saying that ever since I noticed all this Sam vs. Dean garbage a few seasons ago. It's about the Winchester BROTHERS guys! Not just Sam OR Dean. Geez. Re tonight's episode, the takeaway is: under NO circumstances should you ever tick off an 800 year-old witch. That's how you end up with beating hearts in your cupcakes. Which, btw, I don't think I'll be eating cupcakes anytime soon. I liked this episode. I thought it did a great job of advancing the overall arc but giving us one that was still kind of MOTW. I agree with your characterization of Dean and how he deals with loss/grief. He was devastated about losing John, and Sam knew that, but Dean didn't talk about it for a very long time. And even when he did, it was on his terms. Not Sam's.
This was great write up. I was reading through the comments in the last article and it just left such a negative impression that I was a little Supernaturaled out. Sam vs Dean is never fun, except to the few who seem to love making everyone miserable. But then this episode was a hoot and it sort of reminded me that I really do love this show and everyone involved. And seeing Cordelia and Spike together like that…it was just plain entertaining.
Great review, agreed with every word! I love the way the Show is dealing with the boys' psychology, delving into their emotional problems while respecting their "no chick flick moments" personality. Some people want them to emote like chicks because that's what they want to hear, even though it's not what Sam and Dean would say. As you have so eloquently pointed out, it is not in character for Dean to openly grieve for Cas. He's going to do with his grief what he always does with hurtful emotions, as he said himself "Bury them deep and let them come out in bouts of violence and alcoholism." He's not going to sit around weeping into Cas' trenchcoat. It has been made very clear he was deeply hurt by Cas' betrayal, and then by his loss, even though we don't see him having chick flick moments about it. I have always hated the Samgirls vs Deangirls, and now sadly we have Casgirls lashing out (to the point where they are deliberately voting down the ratings of each episode without Cas on sites like tv.com.) I love all of them, but I can certainly understand people loving one character more than others–I just wish they didn't take it out on the rest of us.
I agree with all the comments that have been posted so far. Great review. I have always disliked the infighting among the fans. I have never understood it. Loved the episode.