Even in this day and age in developed countries, there’s still an expectation that men ought to behave in a certain way. Instead of embracing the wide range of human emotions and interests, these men are told to be aggressive while avoiding any sort of vulnerability. This can lead to a lot of issues down the line.
Redditor u/callmevicious sparked an important discussion on the internet after asking people to share the dumbest things they’ve ever heard someone say that ‘real men’ supposedly don’t do. And the idea that ‘real men’ don’t hug their sons is just the tip of the iceberg of toxicity… scroll down to see some of the other awful expectations guys have had set for them.
Bored Panda got in touch with the author of the thread, u/callmevicious, to get their thoughts on toxic and healthy masculinity. You’ll find our interview with the OP as you read on.
#1
Real men don’t put cream in their coffee. I responded with, “real men don’t give a s**t what other men think of their beverage choices.”
Image source: historymajor44, Jonathan Reynaga
#2
Well, despite that fact that I’m a 210 pound, masculine former rugby player who drives a pickup and has been married to the same woman for 31 years, i am in fact gay because: * I cook * I like a grande no-whip mocha * I wash my a*s * I say “Good morning” to other dudes * I sometimes drink fruity cocktails * I like chocolate, deserts and sometimes Luna bars * I use a rolling suitcase and wear sunscreen * I like the occassional rom-com and British period piece. Geez, it’s amazing I’m not living in a bathhouse…. WTF?
Image source: jaywayhon
#3
Real Men don’t show their own children affection or accept affection from them, apparently.
Edit: Holy s**t this blew up. On behalf of all dads out there, I’m sending all of you a virtual hug. Every kid deserves to know they’re loved.
Image source: Rahkyvah, Kampus Production
#4
Real men don’t eat bananas. I just went to a bachelor party where I was the only gay man. I flew in from out of town so I asked the person buying the food for the weekend to get me some bananas for my breakfast. No one else would eat a banana that weekend. One guy even cracked a joke about how it was gay to eat a banana. When I eat a banana I’m thinking about a banana. If you think about a p***s when you see a banana, maybe you have some unresolved issues.
Image source: 2_Fives
#5
Anything behind that is stupid. Literally anything. There is no such thing as “real men”. If you identify as a man, you are a man, no matter what you wear, how you behave, what you do for a living and what gender your partner is.
This “real men don’t” should go die in a fire, no matter what follows behind it.
Image source: Haliwe
#6
“Real men don’t order dessert.”
I’m sorry, it’s “gay” to like sugar? This real man is gonna deep throat a bananas foster while holding eye contact with you the entire time.
Image source: tall_pale_and_meh, Ron Lach
#7
I was at Joanns and the man behind me in line was buying something for his wife and didn’t have any coupons. I told him about the app and the website and offered to pull up my coupons for him to use.
He laughed and said “Boys don’t use coupons”
So weird. It’s free money. How fragile is your masculinity that you pay full price when you don’t have to.
Image source: send_cat_pictures, Hobbies on a Budget
#8
Change diapers.
We had four kids and I was a union steel worker. I took a withdrawal on the union card because the cost of daycare for children was just ridiculous, so my wife, who was a school teacher carried the benefits and I stayed home with our last kid.
I had more than one ironworker tell me that real men don’t change diapers.
I asked them what they would do if their kid had a dirty diaper, and they all said the same thing.
They would have to sit in it until the wife got home.
It was then I realized how ignorant these guys were.
Image source: wyopapa25
#9
My dad told me once, “Men don’t say thingy.”
And frankly I agree. A man should speak eloquently. Be sure to enunciate. A say specifically what you mean.
Besides, there are way better words than ‘thingy”.
For example, doohickey, thingamajig, whatchyacallit, or whoswhatsit are of my favorites.
Image source: ticklish_stank_tater, cottonbro studio
#10
A guy at work described something his daughter did as “cute” and then some douche told him that men aren’t supposed to call things cute.
Image source: bela-77, Josh Willink
#11
“Real men don’t have cats.”
Laughable.
Image source: WhyAreYouSoSmelly, Yuliya kota
#12
“cry” literally everyone cries stfu.
Image source: BlueberrirrebeulB, Ivan Samkov
#13
Drink fruity cocktails, dude, my cocktail has 5 spirits in it, it’s way more alcohol than your 3.x% abv. beer and it tastes nice .
Image source: OstravaBro, Amar Preciado
#14
Wear pink. Pink is an awesome color – and you’re a little b***h if you think I’m not rocking an awesome color.
Image source: InventasBam, Anna Shvets
#15
1. My cousin was working at a chocolate shop and said a guy barged in asking for “chocolate for MEN.” She never did figure out what he was talking about.
2. My grandfather firmly believed real men didn’t smile in photos. Smiling = gay in his mind (needless to say he was a homophobe).
Image source: liberaliar, Daniel Xavier
#16
Not sure if it counts, but a young woman wouldn’t sell me a Luna Bar because it’s made for women. I said “No. It’s marketed to women. But I like this flavor.” She said “I can’t sell it to you. It has estrogen in it.” We had a frustrating back and forth before I finally convinced her that I was willing to take the risk and she sold it to me.
Image source: NikkoE82, Mike Mozart
#17
“Hug their sons.”
My dad hugged my brother for the first time when he was 18 and graduated high school. Dad was raised by his parents to not show outwardly love towards his children because that would “spoil” us. Our childhood was…odd.
First and last time I saw my dad cry was when his bird hunting dog died. As he dug the hole to bury it in their backyard.
The older generations were tougher, sure, but I know my dad would have benefited greatly from being hugged more as a child. That s**t gets passed down.
Image source: AWL_cow, Timur Weber
#18
Eat dessert. Seriously. I was told it was gay to eat dessert. “Because children and women like sweet things.”
F**k you, Paul, I am going to eat this raspberry cheesecake.
Image source: daneelthesane
#19
I recently saw “If you’re a straight man and go see the Barbie movie you’re 100% a beta” I thought, “I’m so sorry that someone called you a beta once and that ever since you’ve been critical of your fellow man by hamfistedly dissecting everyone’s choices through an arbitrary and nonsensical social hierarchy platform that only exists to a few and matters to less! Bruh, you could do with some content that boldly and artistically tackles some questions of who we are in the universe, society and what real support and true friendship looks like. Maybe go see Barbie?”
Image source: TheyCallMeDoofus, Pavel Danilyuk
#20
Pick anything that Andrew tate prick says and it’s probably gunna be up there with the most stupid
Image source: Nixilaas
#21
My former boss would die on the hill of “real men don’t use rolling suitcases.” He’d sooner throw out his shoulder carrying a heavy duffel bag than ever be caught dead rolling a suitcase through an airport.
Edit: forgot to add he also thinks “neck pillows are fruity” and can’t stand when men wear them around their neck on planes. Also, re: the comments about benefits of hiking backpacks, I don’t think I ever saw him sport a two-strap. Fellas, is it gay to have even weight distribution on your shoulders?
Image source: alffiesta, Mikhail Nilov
#22
I was told that really men never look at their nails with their palm down and would only ever look at their nails with their palm up and fingers curled.
I gotta wonder how secure in your masculinity you’ve got to be to spend time even thinking about the right way to look at your nails.
Image source: totodododo, cottonbro studio
#23
“Real men don’t let women be on top during sex, because being on the bottom is a submissive position”
Fellas? Is it gay to have sex with a woman?
Image source: OJRmk1
#24
“Real men don’t speak French”
When we were kids, my mother would speak to us in French and my dad in English. By pure coincidence, every other bilingual couple we knew was doing it the same way around. So when my little brother was 4, he decided men spoke English and women spoke French. He still understood French perfectly, but he refused to speak it. He’d also burst into tears when he heard an adult speaking the wrong language for their gender.
My mother told the school about this when she registered him for kindergarten. They put him in a class with a male francophone teacher and he got over himself pretty quickly.
Image source: MathAndBake
#25
Real men don’t lift under (insert weight). Everyone has to start somewhere d**k head. I have been lifting for years but when I see a new kid try lifting crazy heavy with bad form I warn him it’s a good way to get hurt. If they don’t listen then that’s on them.
Image source: Sodomy_Steve, Victor Freitas
#26
My friends once introduced me to this guy who was talking REALLY LOUDLY.
I thought maybe he didn’t realize how loud he was being so I said “you’re a little loud.”
Dude said “real men talk loud. Chicks like that.”
I did not like that.
Image source: liberaliar, Helena Lopes
#27
Ok so based on this a real man is a guy who:
Is sunburned. Smells because he doesn’t wash his a*s. Screams what he wants with very basic language.
Oh wow the lady must be swooning
Image source: WebBorn2622
#28
Real men don’t love their women as much as or more than she loves him. He has to always love her less and be less emotional to hold more power in the relationship.
Image source: Retremeco, Emre Akyol
#29
“Read the Instructions”
Image source: Delicious-Let8429, Wilson Hui
#30
Once saw a woman on twitter say something like “if a man is too eager when the free bread gets to the table that’s sus” and I was just blown away by that one
Image source: Soupjam_Stevens, Monica Silvestre
#31
Wannabe tough guy: “Real men don’t cook… Only women and gay men cook.”
Me: “What about male Chef’s like Gordon Ramsay?”
Response A) They’re closeted gay men.
Or
Response B) A Chef is a paid position so it doesn’t count.
Image source: mjohnsimon, cottonbro studio
#32
Have long hair. I don’t understand it at all. If Eddie van Halen can have long hair, then I can too.
Image source: magos_idiotus
#33
Real men don’t put others first.
I have a big family and a lot of my siblings have problems. I do my best to help them, even if it means putting their needs ahead of mine.
My ex-fiance thought this made me weak. A real man doesn’t take care of other people, he puts himself first and takes what he wants. Going out of my way to help my brother, lending him money when he needed it, spending time giving him advice, made me a little b***h in her eyes.
We’re no longer together.
Image source: shaidyn
#34
I’ve heard real men don’t drink tea.
Image source: _eviehalboro, Ron Lach
#35
“Real men never say no to sex”
Image source: SuvenPan, Monstera
#36
My ex husband used to say real men don’t eat popsicles.
Edit to add: my current husband loves popsicles, ex husband was a POS who never got to experience the joy of an icy treat on a hot summer day in the south.
Image source: cinnamon23, Danh Huynh
#37
Use umbrellas.
Image source: Barquebe, Nikita Ananjevs
#38
When I was 14 or so, I got my left ear pierced. An older cousin of mine worked at Piercing Pagoda in the mall (mid 90s), and he did it for me.
When my father noticed, he was beside himself and went on and on about me being a sissy. I removed it right away.
Anyway, it turns out that Dad was a self-hating closet-case. Still is.
Image source: love_is_an_action
#39
I saw a video of a woman saying “Real men don’t eat peanut butter and jelly” and I was flabbergasted.
Image source: TeamJase, Matias Garabedian
#40
Real men don’t wear safety equipment.
Image source: iCopeHard
#41
Real men don’t tell their wives/girlfriends they’re going to go somewhere/do something they just do it. And if they don’t like it that’s too bad.
Like dude what?
Image source: CaptianCanuck
#42
Real men don’t use straws lol. I’ve always thought like, no, “real men” drink however they damn well please
Image source: ZsaurOW
#43
Wear sunscreen.
Image source: bubblypersona, Kindel Media
#44
“Real men don’t apologize”
Image source: SuvenPan
#45
*… Don’t eat sweet things like candy or chocolate, it’s gay.*
I f*****g love chocolate so I’m probably the biggest gaylord out there.
Image source: Arch_Stanton1862
#46
Real men dont drink fruity drink, only beers and hard liquor.
F**k off. I drink something if it taste good and i will die before doing 50 differents type of faces just to swallow something that taste like satan b******e and batteries acids
Image source: Regnier86
#47
“wash their a*s because it makes them gay”
Image source: vpnme120, cottonbro studio
#48
enjoy candles
Image source: jay_marcus_rustler
#49
“Sleep on their stomachs”
Image source: Merphee, Nicola Barts
#50
Real men don’t wear lotion or chapstick.
Image source: nicolassedir
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