Getting pregnant isn’t always a walk in the park. Some couples try for years and pursue every medical avenue available, only to come up empty-handed time and time again. Of course, this can take a serious mental toll, if not just a physical one.
One woman’s twin-sister has struggled to conceive since she was 20 and has burned through two marriages in the process. During one of her rants about how unfair it is that some people can fall pregnant easily, the frustrated woman suggested adoption. That’s when all hell broke loose.
More info: Reddit
Pregnancy can be a sore point for people struggling to conceive, as this woman found out the hard way
Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Her twin sister had been trying to get pregnant for years, burning through two marriages in the process
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
One day her sister started whining about how unfair it is that some people can fall pregnant so easily
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Having been through this drama one too many times, the woman snapped and told her sister she should just adopt
Image credits: AgeAware5941
Her sister and mom hit the roof, and have since cut off all contact, leaving the woman to ask netizens if her suggestion had been a jerk move
OP and her twin sister had both battled infertility, but only OP had given up and moved on. After trying once years ago, she embraced a childfree life, finding joy in a second marriage and peace with her reality. Meanwhile, her twin was consumed by the dream of motherhood, chasing pregnancy through every scientific option, heartbreak, and failed relationship.
Despite multiple miscarriages and years of disappointment, OP’s twin never gave up. Her desperate journey cost her two marriages and left a string of abandoned partners. Still, she kept hoping. The emotional roller coaster became a defining feature of her life, one that OP quietly distanced herself from to protect her own peace.
During a family dinner, the topic of a cousin’s surprise baby came up. OP’s sister spiraled, ranting about how unfair life was. Caught between awkwardness and frustration, OP casually suggested adoption, but her comment sent the room into emotional chaos. Tears, locked doors, and screams followed. OP’s mother called it an unforgivable insult.
Confused why adoption, a loving, valid path, was so offensive, OP left but her mother demanded an apology and has not spoken to her since. OP’s husband said she lacked empathy but also warned her to ignore the drama. Now she’s stuck wondering: Was she too blunt, or is this just another chapter in her sister’s never-ending quest?
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
OP might have been lacking some tact in the moment, but her adoption idea wasn’t coming from a bad place. If anything, her sister owes her an apology for taking it so badly, and her mom needs a reality check for her stinking thinking. What are the realities of adoption, though? And how can OP’s sister better navigate her struggle with fertility? We went looking for answers.
According to American Adoptions, the circumstances of each adoption vary greatly, and no two adoptions look alike. However, most adoptions generally fall into one of five categories: domestic infant adoption, independent adoption, foster care adoption, stepparent adoption and international adoption. The different types of adoption vary in process, costs, wait times, advantages and challenges.
Some people who struggle to conceive resist adoption. Reasons for this may include holding onto the hope of a biological child, cultural and social expectations, emotional and psychological barriers, practical and logistical challenges, misinformation and lack of awareness, and family and partner opposition.
In her article for Psychology Today, Fenella Das Gupta writes that, in the fertility journey, our thoughts can be our greatest allies or our most formidable foes. Unhelpful thinking styles can sabotage both mental health and fertility efforts, so it’s critical to identify them and counter them with mindfulness and a growth mindset.
It sounds like OP’s sister could use some therapy to challenge her habit of catastrophizing and overgeneralization. Perhaps in time she can replace her longing for a biological child, make peace with her situation, or even reconsider adoption.
What would you do if you found yourself in OP’s shoes? Do you think her suggestion was outlandish, or does she make a good point? Let us know in the comments!
In the comments, readers swiftly agreed that the woman was not being a jerk and suggested the sister was in serious need of therapy
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