Family rituals and running jokes can be a source of comfort or conflict. What starts as a playful tradition can sometimes reveal wounds, especially in blended families where roles and relationships are more complex. Repeated comments or inside jokes meant to be funny can unintentionally highlight differences, favoritism, or insecurities among siblings.
This story illustrates exactly that. Today’s Original Poster (OP) shared that their adopted sister repeatedly referred to herself as the “chosen one” in her family, a line that has long been taken lightly by most relatives. However, when they decided they’d had enough, the moment revealed deeper emotions and dynamics.
More info: Reddit
Sometimes what starts as playful teasing or inside jokes can sometimes become a source of tension, highlighting unresolved feelings that have been simmering for years
Image credits: bristekjegor / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Before the author and their brothers were born, their mom had a daughter with a previous partner, but the daughter was later adopted by their dad when he married their mom
Image credits: AbbreviationsFair886
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Growing up, the sister often joked that she was the “chosen one”, a playful running gag that annoyed them but amused the rest of the family
Image credits: AbbreviationsFair886
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
As adults, during a night out, they snapped at her over the recurring joke, making a comment about her biological father not choosing her
Image credits: AbbreviationsFair886
The incident reached their parents, who were angry at them, while siblings and partners criticized the comment as cruel
The OP stated that their mother had a daughter with another partner who eventually walked away. When their mother met their father, the daughter was now adopted by the new stepdad, who raised her as his own and showered her with love alongside his biological children including the OP.
Growing up, the adopted sister leaned into this origin story, often joking that while her siblings were “stuck” with their dad, she was the one he chose. Everyone else seemed to take it in stride from laughing, teasing, to just treating it like a running gag. For the OP, though, the joke never landed the same way.
Fast-forward to adulthood, and the adopted sister was still pulling out the “chosen one” line at gatherings, including a recent night out with the OP, their siblings and their partners. For the most part, it had become a quirky family tradition where the sister often told the story of her adoption, so as usual, she slipped in the fact that she was the “chosen one” again.
Fueled by alcohol and frustration, the OP finally snapped, pointing out that while the sister may have been chosen by their dad, she wasn’t chosen by her biological father. The words stung immediately, leaving the sister hurt and the rest of the group stunned.
Their siblings called the comment out as cruel and the night ended early with an Uber ride home, and before long, word had reached their parents who thought their comment was not just rude but unnecessarily harsh.
To better understand why long-running family jokes can spark tension, Bored Panda spoke with relationship coach and marriage counselor Mildred Okonkwo who explained that seemingly harmless “chosen one” jokes can have lasting effects on siblings.
Image credits: Drazen Zigic / Freepik (not the actual photo)
“The thing is that children are incredibly perceptive, and consistent messaging about ‘specialness’ can shape how others see themselves and their roles in the family,” she said, noting that siblings may internalize feelings of jealousy or inadequacy, sometimes developing coping strategies like people-pleasing or emotional withdrawal.
We asked Okonkwo why some children in blended families feel compelled to assert their “special” status repeatedly. She explained, “Whether aware of it or not, it’s pretty much a strategy to ensure their voice is heard and their needs are recognized. It’s almost like leaving a personal stamp that says they matter there.”
She added that this behavior should not be mistaken as stemming from arrogance but from navigating uncertainty, subtle comparisons, or fears of being overshadowed by step-siblings.
Okonkwo also shared guidance for families when a sibling finally reacts after years of hearing a recurring joke. “It’s important to pause and acknowledge the reaction without judgment,” she advised. “Avoid dismissing it as ‘just a joke’ or telling them to ‘lighten up’, because that can reinforce the sense that their emotions aren’t legitimate.”
Instead, she recommended calmly helping the joke-teller understand the impact of their words while modeling empathy and healthy boundaries. “Not all jokes appear harmful, but at the same time, the feelings of everyone has to be handled thoughtfully in real time because these moments can prevent resentment from festering and even strengthen sibling relationships.”
Netizens leaned heavily toward calling the OP the villain in this story, pointing out that their sister’s “chosen one” joke was likely rooted in deep insecurity. A smaller but notable group of netizens, however, noted that the sister’s constant joke was immature and needed to stop, but still argued that the OP’s remark was unnecessarily cruel.
What do you think about this situation? Do you think the sister was wrong for repeating the joke, or was the OP for finally snapping? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens were affirmed that while hearing the joke might have been annoying to the author, they were wrong for making such an unnecessary comment
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