There’s always a kicker. The Heist is something that you might expect as a Superbowl commercial that’s main aim is to sell something like beer, soda, or something equally as silly but still desired. The whole Ocean’s Eleven motif is nice and all but it gets a little nuts when they start describing who they’re going to get for the job. Even the real movies didn’t get this crazy with it.
Let’s take a look at who they’re getting:
The wheelman: Davey Hayes
He’s good, that’s about the extent of his resume. Seems plausible. Moving on.
Demolitions Expert-Jimmy BangBang
Even for being Croatian that’s kind of an odd name. Plus, he seems to like using extreme heat and what looks like fire around explosive materials. That might be an issue.
Tiny Korean
Stereotypical, yet needed for heist jobs that have to do with hard to reach spaces and crevices that no one else can fit into.
Black guy with Cockney accent
Because what team doesn’t need a guy with a Cockney accent?
Tough guy
Somehow there’s always a need for a tough guy that can take a lot of abuse.
Take no prisoners cop
Whoa, back up. A cop on a heist? Eh, maybe he can come in handy if he’s a crooked cop.
The white struggling coach
You know, because the crew might need a really good, heartfelt, emotional pep talk at some point.
The crusty anti-party dean
I’m seriously at a loss with this one. She might be more of a hindrance really.
The father and son that switch bodies
Okay, now they’re just making things up as they go.
Two guys holding guns on each other under a table
What happens when one of them has to go to the bathroom? Do they call a time out and then go back to it?
Victorian street urchin
Note the fingerless gloves, not important at all but they should be given some attention.
Two misfits that are also ghosts
Ah, but they didn’t KNOW they were ghosts. Eh? Eh? Eh.
1st time attorney and his client
Maybe they could run a scam on Featherstone as a distraction if the attorney can postpone his vampire hunting duties for a while.
A guy looking in the mirror
Um. What?
A girl from a post-apocalyptic world with a hacker boyfriend
Finally, someone that might come in handy even if their catch phrases are tired and horrible.
A successful white guy returning home for a wake up call
That wake up call might be that he’s not really successful and needs to join in the heist. Yes? Any takers?
Two good-looking con men pitching their scheme to a rich individual.
So at this point they’re taking themselves out of the heist it seems like and choreographing it in a way that makes it even more convoluted. I totally get it now! But not really.
It seems like a lot of spoof films, even shorts, tend to go over the top as a rule these days rather than as real attempt at satire.
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