Kids are cruel little jerks sometimes. They laugh when people get hurt, push around other kids, play elaborate pranks… That is, until something like that happens to them and they go like “huh, that sucks”. Usually, this is enough for them to understand the not-so-common nowadays concept of empathy.
But for today, let’s look back on the cruel tricks people used to play as kids and hopefully laugh at them, thinking “man, it’s good that I grew out of that phase real fast.”
More info: Reddit
#1
When I was little, for whatever reason, I was fixated on how hilarious sneezing was. Remember that part in Beauty and the Beast where Belle’s dad sneezes in his dusty workshop? I would rewind that and watch it over and over and laugh and laugh.
Fast forward to kindergarten: somehow I find out that a girl in the first grade has a terrible pollen allergy. I pick a handful of dandelions and chase her, smashing them into her face whenever I get close enough.
The plan works! She’s sneezing like crazy! This is the pinnacle of humor!
But wait: she’s sneezing, but she’s also crying. And wheezing. And her face is swollen and red.
This was the first time my little-kid brain grasped the idea that other people might feel differently about things than you do.
Image source: clocksailor, Lukas
#2
I was six and told my three year old brother that the people in the television had actually been sucked in there by getting too close to the screen. It took my parents months to find out why he would slowly edge around the living room and then burst into tears when they turned the TV on.
Image source: weeble182, Anurag Sharma
#3
When I was 10 years old my cousin (also 10) and I convinced my 6 year old brother that he’d been drafted by the army. We even wrote up an official-looking letter and printed it out on my dad’s dot matrix printer.
Then we made him run around the neighborhood to get ready for boot camp.
We thought it was the funniest thing ever. My parents disagreed.
Image source: TheVentiLebowski, Ahmed ツ
#4
Not my story, but something I witnessed.
A few years back, I visited the Great Wall of China on a rainy day. The rain had brought out THOUSANDS of tiny 1-inch frogs. There were at least 8 frogs on each step, and us tourists had to actively avoid stepping on them.
Behind me was a little girl no older than 6 who was stomping on every frog she could see. She probably wasn’t even thinking much about what she was doing. Her father grabbed her hand and said “Stop doing that. Now this little frog’s babies won’t be able to find their mommy. If you kill them, who will they go home to?”
I have never watched guilt strike over anyone’s face so quickly. She whimpered a “sorry froggy…” and avoided the frogs the rest of the way.
Warmed up my heart.
Image source: coffeecakesandtea, Matthias Liffers
#5
I ran into a fence with my bike and cracked my nose. I came home all bloody in my face and when dad saw me, he shouted “WHO DID IT???” and for some weird reason, I replied “Greg”, the worst douche bag in school. My dad ordered me to get in the car, and I didn’t have the guts to come clean about my lie. He drove to this guy’s house and when his dad opened, my dad threatened that if that kid ever laid hands on me again, he promised to [end] them all. Then we went home in silence and never talked about it ever again.
Image source: corkentellis, Suelynn parker
#6
I used to put a super high wattage bulb on the lamp in my room. Then I would take my barbies and melt their hands and faces to make them “confess”
Toy story f****d me up.
Image source: the_nugget_queen, Burak The Weekender
#7
When my Dad died of cancer, I was called back from school and I saw him laying there. His lifeless body, staring at the ceiling, thin like a skeleton. And I laughed. I know now it was a coping mechanism, because I didn’t believe it, or I didn’t **want** to believe it. But it still makes me sick to this day.
Edit: thank you everyone for all the kind comments and messages
Image source: TheHUD18
#8
I convinced my younger brother that we found him near a sewer. I went on for multiple years with the same story. Whenever he would do something I didn’t care for, I would threaten him with “you’re going back where you came from.” My parents still joke about how much he would cry.
My brother and I are best friends now.
Image source: embrunner, Matt Brown
#9
I “This is Sparta!”-kicked my best friend in the back down a playground slide, causing him to land headfirst into the plastic slide which had been baking in the summer heat all morning. He skid on his face the entire time down, and about halfway down the blood trail started to appear. He had to go to the hospital to get stitches. Apparently you can grind your chin down till the bone shows.
Image source: anon, Erik Mclean
#10
In sixth grade PE, I always lugged a big water bottle around and people would always ask me for a sip. I had enough of this so I started bringing an extra water bottle that had clear, tasteless laxative dissolved into it and letting people who asked drink laxatives
Image source: linniebaby, Steve Johnso
#11
in kindergarten i scooped up a dead bird in an art project (big sheet of paper) and rode the bus home. threw it on the bus driver’s lap as i exited and sprinted to my front door
Image source: anon, RDNE Stock project
#12
I dropped ants and other bugs onto spider webs. Well, at least the spiders were happy. *Holy s**t, company just dropped in for dinner!*
#13
I remember my friend used to collect daddy longlegs in his lunch box then release them in class
Not that bad, pretty hilarious actually, but it must have been f*****g hot for those daddy longlegs
#14
I used to throw rocks at peoples houses, when I was 7 I didn’t think it was a big deal and that it was actually pretty funny, but now as a owner of a home, if a kid did that to me, I would whip that a*s
Image source: PluggerOfButts, Scott Webb
#15
Between the ages of about 4-7, I would habitually bite other kids. Hard. It got the the point where we had to change daycares several times and my mother broke down in tears. I remember one day my dad bought me a new hot wheels car because I hadn’t bitten anyone that day. Nothing like says positive reinforcement like giving your kid a toy for managing to go a whole day without chomping down on someones shoulder.
I’m not really sure why I ever had an affinity for biting people, besides perhaps that I’m actually a cannibal. To this day I like to playfully bite my girlfreind and I don’t want to say its pleasureable, but I do enjoy it somewhat
TL;DR – I bit kids, got kicked out of several daycares, made mom cry but got a new hot wheels car out of it. 10/10 would do again. Still do actually
Image source: plumprabbitjockey, SoulRider.222
#16
When I was really young I got really mad at my dad for some reason. I was so mad that I wanted to [end] him so I put those silica packets that you get in shoe boxes in his bottle of Coke. I think I only put a couple of packets in there but he drank some of it. He said it tasted funny so he threw it out. So ya, I tried to [end] my dad for some childish reason.
Image source: hello_xyla, Scott Spedding
#17
i don’t know if this counts as “sadistic” but i used to borrow my friends toys/pokemon cards/plastic jewelry right before i knew i was going to move (gotta love that navy life) so i would never have to give them back
Image source: yelizabetta, Mike Bird
#18
I gave my twin brother a cup of bleach with a bunch of milk added in. I didn’t know the severity of how bad it is for you at the time, I wasn’t even in kindergarten yet. Needless to say we went to the hospital and I felt terrible despite the fact that every time he and my cousin were in grandma’s pool together with me they’d work together to actively try and drown me for years to come.
Image source: CasuallyEfficient, Işıl
#19
I pricked a hole in my friend’s parent’s waterbed with a needle. I was 6. I remember doing it, but I don’t remember the outcome.
Image source: genericusername123, Jill Burrow
#20
At my school near the playground, I found some random cinder blocks, so I piled TONS of fallen leaves on them till they were completely covered, in hopes that some kids would run and jump onto the leaves but hurt themselves on the cinder blocks.
Image source: sloressica, Anthony
#21
A friend of mine sprained his ankle playing basketball one afternoon during the lunch break at school. Two other players had to help him get to the nurses office where he got treatment for his injury. After half an hour he walked out of the same office, limping and with quite some pain but walking nevertheless. He went straight for his bag to go to class. The problem was I had put a five kilo rock in the bag without his knowledge. Safe to say that his ankle took quite a lot longer to heal.
To defend myself, I had no idea he sprained his ankle but it was still a pretty sadistic move on my part.
Image source: Jaaaapie, Virginia State Parks
#22
“Intentionally” kick brother right in the face for no reason at all, when he was on the floor in front of me. It’s doesn’t seem so sadistic, but it’s the one thing that i remember doing for no other reason than that i could do it.
Unintentionally, take someones phone i hated (this was pre-smartphone era, mind you) and hid it in a pencil case(called a penal?) of another girl, on a Friday. Girl ended up taking it home by accident, and suddenly she had “stolen” a phone from someone else. A bit of drama…
Image source: Thomasedv, Karolina Grabowska
#23
When I was 4? I threw a pretty big rock from my driveway and it landed dead center in the grill of a passing truck.
I being a mechanic now and have seen what damage something as small as a bird can do hitting the right area, I probably cost that guy a good 4-5 hundred dollars or more in damages. Still don’t know why I thought it was a good idea.
Image source: Shapedlikeapotato, Mehmet Turgut Kirkgoz
#24
My sister used to always eat off of my plate which I *hate* even today. One day when I was about 4 I told her to stop doing that or she’d be sorry. She didn’t think I’d do anything about it, and admittedly I don’t remember having anything in mind, but I was really f*****g mad. About a week later she asked me to walk on her back to pop it so I walked until I got to the middle, around her shoulder blades, and jumped a couple times on her back. She was about 10 at the time and I don’t think it actually hurt her but it scared the s**t out of her and I got trouble.
Image source: anon, Jill Wellington
#25
Unsuccessfully tried to convince a little girl to trade me the $20 bill she got for Christmas, for the $5 bill that I received.
Image source: Reeberton, Karolina Grabowska
#26
At scout camp a friend and I put big rocks on the train tracks in hopes of derailing a train.
Image source: TopScruffy, Snapwire
#27
Not sure if this would be called sadistic, but it was pretty f****d up. I dumped a bottle of shampoo on a little girl’s head at Burlington Coat Factory. My mom was at check out and I found this random little girl in the racks while I was roaming around and just opened the bottle and plopped it on there.
Sorry little girl who probably got yelled at by her parents for dumping shampoo on her head.
Image source: caitlynwithaD, cottonbro studio
#28
Bit my sister on the butt…when I was at least 8. Three times.
And when I was five I would hit other kids in preschool then bite the teacher. Made her cry once and that ended my bad phase. Ended up apologizing for the rest of the year.
Image source: sailor_doctorwho, cottonbro studio
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