The housing market in much of the Western world is becoming increasingly out of reach for younger generations. Higher demand, stagnant wages, student loans, and interest rates all contribute to the problem. Naturally, younger people often look to their family for support. But not every parent feels obliged to pay for their child’s dreams.
One millennial, struggling with her finances, raised a serious question on Daily Mail: “Who’s more selfish, her parents or her?” While her retired parents travel the world and have a blast, she counts every cent that the lavish holidays drain from her inheritance. She worries she’ll never be able to secure a home and raise children of her own if they keep spending so recklessly.
Many young people are facing financial struggles that they hope their families can help with
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But her parents’ “YOLO” mindset has completely transformed their relationship
An anonymous 34-year-old millennial wrote about her retired parents’ recent obsession with globe-trotting. Most recently, they decided to rent a villa in Tuscany, Italy for just the two of them. What really drives the writer up the wall is how unapologetically they embrace the “you only live once” mindset. She says she explained the term to them just a few years back, and now it’s come to define their whole retirement plan.
Initially, the writer admired her parents’ sense of adventure. Growing up, they had far more modest family holidays in the UK. She assumed these new adventures would just be occasional indulgences. She hoped they’d later choose a quieter, safer retirement at home. Instead, the travels have continued for years. They took expensive trips to Thailand, Japan, Spain, and other lavish destinations. It’s as if they’ve developed an insatiable appetite for fancy holidays. Now she worries that it’s not just a phase, but a completely new and unfamiliar lifestyle.
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She’s most worried about how their travels could affect her own finances
She explains that she’s been struggling with high living costs. The housing market, according to the writer, is basically unaffordable. She has long hoped that inheritance would eventually help her achieve financial stability. Now that she’s watching her parents spend freely and recklessly, she feels that the money she assumed would help her get on her own two feet is quickly disappearing. It’s an uncomfortable idea, she says, yet she can’t help but connect her parents’ adventures and her own demise. She’s starting to resent them for it.
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The dilemma is prevalent across the entire generation
Many people in the writer’s generation grapple with similar concerns. When she talked about it with her friends, she heard similar sentiments. One friend is struggling with the loss of expected childcare support because of her widowed mother, who decided to pursue a new life after the loss. Active traveling, social gatherings, and overpriced food and drinks all changed how the elderly mother spends money. Resentment toward parents seems common in the writer’s friend group.
A survey by Aviva confirms these fears. It suggests a significant and widespread reliance on inheritance money among younger generations. A staggering 37% of respondents depend on it financially to cover debts, mortgages, moving costs, children’s education, or fund their own retirement.
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The issues extend beyond just holiday spending
The writer further explains that her parents kept buying new cars, while she can’t even afford driving lessons. The disparity between their financial freedom and her own struggles is causing a lot of resentment. She worries about her economic future, high housing costs, and the uncertainty of long-term employment. Meanwhile, her parents are spending their savings without thinking of her problems.
Financial advice typically encourages younger generations to save independently rather than rely on inheritance. However, given her circumstances, the writer finds it difficult to set aside money for the future. Her parents could’ve been her saving grace, but she’s left wondering what will remain of their savings after years of lavish travels around the world and unnecessary spending.
lgolubovystock / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Children are not entitled to their parents’ wealth
Ultimately, the writer’s worries stem from uncertainty. She feels as if her future depends on how well she can handle her current struggles. But she should not act like she’s entitled to her parents’ wealth. They could give her an easy out, but they should also be able to enjoy the fruits of their own hard work.
Here are some important things to consider when receiving an inheritance
Most people’s reactions were in support of the parents
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