No life should be taken at such a young age, and under such circumstances. But trying to even pretend that anyone knew what Daisy Coleman was going through would be difficult for many and impossible for many more. The young woman in question ended her life recently after what many will no doubt refer to as one of the worst things that any young woman could possibly endure. Sadly, they would be right since Daisy and her friend Audrie Pott, who also committed suicide, were victims of rape and also public opinion as their case split the town of Maryville down the middle when they reported the incident. This is where the matter of rape and responsibility becomes murky for many, as those that perpetrated the crime were protected, while those that were raped, Audrie and Daisy, were subjected to non-stop verbal abuse that no one should be subjected to after suffering through an ordeal such as what both young women endured. The Netflix documentary that told of their abuse and the subsequent release of their abusers is absolutely appalling, though even worse is the fact that Daisy was called out in many different and vile ways after telling her story. The young woman was discovered just recently by her mother, and her story deserves to be told.
While it might cause anger and a feeling of bias towards abusers, the reality is that the idea of ‘believe women’ and MeToo and TimesUp have done just as much damage to victims of rape as good, especially considering that the idea of believing women that share stories of being raped will come with doubts as to the veracity of their story. In a perfect world it would be easy to determine who was telling the truth and who was seeking attention, but in the world, as we take it, not as we want it, cases such as Daisy’s come with the reality that she’ll be vilified by many while being believed by others. The downfall of such movements is that they open the door wide for those that wish to play the system to their benefit when thinking that they can get away with crying rape after a night they regret or a having their feelings hurt. This harms the chances of those such as Daisy and Audrie from getting the justice they so rightly deserve, and helps their perpetrators to hide away behind those that are seeking to shelter them from poor and deservedly damning decisions. The fact that Daisy spoke out concerning her rape is enough to insist that she showed a great deal of strength that many within this society have had to wait years to suddenly reveal, and that she was far more forthright than many of those that are crying for justice after a decade or more of remaining silent.
Again, the issue of rape is one that a murky and frustrating blend of anger, betrayal, and uncertainty that should be far clearer, but has been allowed to grow more uncertain with each passing year. Daisy and Audrie both deserved a chance to be happy, to be satisfied that their rapists would be brought to justice, not hidden away like base cowards that are not made to pay for their indiscretions. Rape in this country is still a massive issue, and it has been handled in an exceedingly poor manner by many individuals that seek to turn the issue back upon the victims. But as I mentioned, those that are attempting to help, MeToo, Times Up, and the folks that will spout ‘believe all women’, are keeping that metaphorical door wide open when stating that everyone should be believed no matter their story. The result of this has been seen multiple times already and has damaged many a case that might have otherwise been closed at this time with the perpetrators behind bars and facing justice as they should. It’s not too hard to comprehend the anger that’s felt by those that knew Daisy the best, since a life lost is a tragedy when one is still so young and so filled with promise, especially when if a person could help if they knew how to do so. What’s truly saddening is the fact that some individuals feel that there is nothing else that can be done and that ending it all is the only option.
It would be easy to condemn those that committed the rape, and it should be done in any case, but it’s not enough. Making them feel bad, making the perpetrators pay, is too little and too late. But remembering Daisy for who she was, what she wanted from life, and how she had a smile that could light up a room, is what those closest to her will hopefully hold onto.
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