Let’s be real: you’re not always going to get along with your significant other’s family. This can lead to some awkward situations, especially if they feel threatened by you. It’s a shame, really, because they should be glad you’re making their child happy.
One woman turned to an online community to vent after her boyfriend’s mom lost it at her for recreating her “secret” cookie recipe. Turns out her boyfriend made the mistake of telling his mom her cookies were even better, and that’s where all the drama started.
More info: Reddit
You can choose your partner, but you can’t choose their family, which can lead to some tense situations
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One woman’s boyfriend’s mother was famous for her cookie bars, baked according to a recipe she refused to give out to anyone
Image credits: natalystep / Freepik (not the actual photo)
During the pandemic, the woman decided to try and recreate the cookie bars, adding her own personal touches and upgrades
Image credits: namii9 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After devouring half a pan of them in two days, her boyfriend happened to tell his mom his girlfriend’s cookies were even better than hers
Image credits: Jaer56
Next thing, her boyfriend’s mom was blowing up her phone with nasty texts, leaving the woman to wonder if recreating the “secret” recipe was a jerk move
The original poster’s (OP) story begins with a beloved family treat: her boyfriend’s mom’s legendary cookie bars. She guards the recipe like a state secret, refusing to share it with anyone. OP accepted that, but years later, during the pandemic, her new baking hobby inspired a challenge. Could she recreate the mythical bars herself?
After digging through food blogs, experimenting, and adjusting ingredients, she finally cracked the code. The “secret recipe” turned out to be a well-known cookie bar called a Carmelita. But OP didn’t stop there. She upgraded everything; artisan caramel, real vanilla bean paste, flaky salt, and richer chocolate. The result? A next-level version even her boyfriend said tasted better.
That’s when things exploded. During a casual FaceTime, OP’s boyfriend mentioned he’s eating “one of your caramel bars, but Jo made them even better,”. Well, his mom instantly lost it. She accused OP of stealing her recipe, screaming about betrayal, before hanging up. Moments later, OP’s phone started lighting up with furious texts accusing her of being a jerk.
Trying to reason, OP explained she used a public recipe and even changed it, promising she’d never bring them to family events. But the mom didn’t care, and then some relatives agreed she crossed a line. OP disagrees and is now wondering if she’s really the villain for reverse-engineering a dessert, or if this cookie drama is just unhinged?
From what OP tells us in her story, it sounds like this is an open-and-shut case of recipe gatekeeping. Perhaps her boyfriend’s mother’s ego is a little fragile – why else would she make such a mountain out of a molehill? And that’s the deal with secret recipes, anyway? We went digging for answers.
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The Black Hat Baker says that, at least in America, recipes don’t count as intellectual property. Except for some extremely narrow exceptions, a recipe can’t be copyrighted, trademarked, or patented. Those rare exceptions? Patents where the recipe or ingredients are genuinely “novel and nonobvious” (meaning you basically had to invent a completely new ingredient) or trade secrets; think the recipe for Coca Cola.
On his Salt And Love blog, professional chef Glenn Anderson writes that, whenever a chef or a restaurant creates a signature dish, people become fascinated with how it was done. And if it’s a rather ordinary dish done extremely well, they often become convinced there’s a secret ingredient or a secret recipe, even when there isn’t.
There are, of course, some rare instances when a recipe is, in fact, kept secret. Chartreuse, for example, made by French monks for centuries, has a recipe that’s so ridiculously complex that half is handled by one monk and the other half by another. Apparently, they complete their halves and pass them down to an apprentice, but no one monk ever knows the complete recipe.
We’d say OP’s boyfriend’s mom is missing a golden opportunity here. Sharing her so-called “secret” recipe would’ve been a perfect way to bond with her son’s significant other and make sure it gets preserved for future generations. Too late now though, she’s literally been out-baked at her own game, and she’s got nobody to blame but herself.
So, what’s your take? Is the mom totally overreacting, or does she actually have a point? Drop your thoughts in the comments!
In the comments, readers agreed the original poster was definitely not the jerk in the whole drama, but that her boyfriend qualified as a sitcom husband level idiot
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