We often hear about how treacherous the dating scene is. Whether you’re meeting potential partners on apps or trying your luck the old-fashioned way, it’s hard to predict how they’ll behave on a first date. As soon as they’re rude to the server during dinner or reveal that they’re anti-vax, you might as well cut your losses and enjoy a night at home with a pint of ice cream.
But if you’re still looking for “the one,” we don’t want you to lose faith, pandas. It’s absolutely possible to have positive experiences when dating; the stories below are proof of that! Redditors have been sharing green flags that they spotted on first dates that immediately made them want to schedule a second one. So enjoy scrolling through these wholesome stories, and keep reading to find conversations with the person who started this thread, Couples and Relationship Coach Quincy Schmidt and Dating Coach Amie Leadingham!
#1
According to my fiancée, it was when I first went to her house and get cat sat in my lap. Her cat hates everyone but loved me.
Image source: ProbablyMaybeBen, freepik
#2
For me, it was the retry worthy f**k ups. My first date with my now wife we had dinner and the host happened to know me from college. It was his first day and he kept coming up to us to chat. He was seriously annoying. That made my date and I agree to try again.
Second date, movie which had technical difficulties. We got a free movie pass out of the deal.
Third date, paint balling, she got shot in the eye by some punk teenager while she was fixing her mask. We bonded in the hospital over the situation.
Fourth date, comedy show. The lady next to us was the worst heckler I have ever seen. Super disruptive. That lady and her friends were kicked out and the rest of the acts were… meh.
It goes on and on. Every time we try to do something romantic, something happens that ruins the mood. We laugh it off and memories are made. That was 10 years ago and we still talk about it. It reminds me of the movie Hitch staring Will Smith.
Image source: GoodRighter, pereslavtseva / freepik
#3
I was anxious and needed to pee when I picked her up. I asked if I could use her bathroom before we left, and she said of course. She apologized if it was messy, as she shared a house with several other people, including a couple of guys.
So I went in to pee and found a Lego pirate ship on the back of the toilet. After I was done, I asked her if it was a roommates and she said (proudly, mind you), “No, it’s mine!”
We’ll be celebrating 26 years of marriage this month.
Image source: shadowvox, Defense Visual Information Distribution Service
#4
When they actually pay attention to what you’re talking about and even make the effort to come back to the topic if interrupted.
#5
Talking for 5 hours but only thinking the date lasted around 90 minutes.
Image source: Saturn_5_speed, freepik
#6
When you get to the point that you run out of ideas on stuff to do but you both want tokeep the date going so you end up just aimlessly wandering around.
Image source: Zack1018, zinkevych / freepik
#7
On our second date, my now-boyfriend had no issue with me paying (I had invited him out this time, I wanted to take -him- on a date) which made me confident that he isn’t someone with an ego related to masculine stereotypes (man always has to pay etc). Made me feel like an equal partner right away.
He also never played games, and would text me shortly after the date was over to continue our conversation or tell me he had a good time :) our 3 year anniversary is in December, he’s a good one.
Image source: taumpyTiers, freepik
#8
On my first date with the man who is now my fiance, we walked from our high school to a local restaurant and he insisted on walking on the side of the sidewalk that was closest to the road. In that moment he reminded me of my grandfather, who had recently passed, because when I was a small child my grandfather told me “A gentleman always walks closer to traffic than the lady.” It just gave me a really good feeling about him, that he was polite and a little bit old-fashioned.
Image source: particularshadeofblu, freepik
#9
Cheeks sore from laughing.
Image source: Whoneedsyou, The Yuri Arcurs Collection
#10
My SO of 8 years says he knew he first realised he liked me when we were escorting my drunk housemate home from a night club at 2am. We were animatedly talking about comic book heroes as we held her up between us on her stupid high heels. He realised half way that I wasn’t complaining about my feet because I’d chosen to wear skate shoes with my sl**ty dress to the club, because wearing high heels in a crowded place with stairs when I plan to drink is stupid and I’m not a T-rexxer.
(A T-rexxer being a girl who exits a club clutching her bag in one hand and heels in the other and limps home without a jacket yelling for chips).
Image source: you-spooky-b**ch, freepik
#11
She seems genuinely curious about you. Asks about your life and your past etc. Instead of just talking about herself.
Image source: vadermustdie, Stockbusters / freepik
#12
When you find out a hidden common interest that ya’ll’d’ve never talked about and things get more intimate and close
Edit: I’d’ve never known that ya’lld’ve absolutely loved that contraction lol I never thought id ever have a situation where I’d’ve needed it.
Image source: _Dawnte_, user21825501 / freepik
#13
I was driving her home and a good song came on the radio and we listened to the whole thing without talking or interrupting. Most natural feeling in the world.
#14
Went for a couple drinks and split an appetizer, we started talking about maybe checking out a bar down the street. I excused myself to go to the bathroom, I’m gone mayyyyybe 5 minutes, get back to the table and she’s paid the bill. I was shocked, as I had fully intended to pay and had never been on a first date where the girl had grabbed the cheque (probably because I wouldn’t let them if they tried). 5 years later, think I just settled on a ring the other day. Wish me luck!
Image source: Sleeze_, Drazen Zigic
#15
Nice driving.
You come to full stops at an intersection? Don’t run any red lights, play conservatively with yellow lights? Treat my life like it matters?
You’re on the right path. I’ve let too many crazed girlfriends shuttle me around while texting, doing their makeup, etc. etc.
Image source: Sage-Khensu, garetsvisual
#16
We came to the end of our coffee date. I decided after an hour to give her an escape ladder, because it seemed to me that she wasn’t really into it. Oh, well.
“Thanks so much,” I said. “This was fun.”
She looked at her watch and said, “What are you doing right now? Wanna go to (another place) and get lunch?”First date lasted 4 hours, including walk in the rain and memorable goodbye smooch. Our son is in first grade and we now spend a lot of our extra income on Legos and life is good.
Image source: anon, prostooleh
#17
Our first date was Guardians of the Galaxy. I was running a little behind schedule, so she took it upon herself to pay for snacks. We worked together and she’s apparently liked me for ages (i was clueless) so she already knew my favorite snacks. They were out of the candy I wanted, so she walked to the candy shop nearby and bought 3 boxes of it.
Our 2nd date was TMNT a week later. If you saw the first showing, they give you a mask/headband representing one of the turtles. I didnt get the one I wanted, but im not about to complain and ruin a 2nd date. She knew that, excused herself to the restroom, and came back with that sweet sweet Raph mask that she knew I wanted. She said she’d heard me mention it days before, and decided to trade with someone.
Those may seem like dumb little things that dont hold any weight to you, but I’m never letting go of her.
Image source: snorkelvortex, freepik
#18
No one seems to talk about this, but I always consider it the most important.
The first green flag to consider is if you are in a good place in your life. Are you in control of your life direction, your finances, your mental health, your physical health? Are you building or maintaining a healthy social group?
Or, are you looking for someone to fix your problems (consciously or subconsciously)? Because this is a sure way to take even the most amazing person and drag their life through your s**t.
Image source: Wittyandpithy, lookstudio
#19
I’ve been on a few first dates to the park, and took my dog along (public place, can use the dog as an excuse to cut it short if we’re not hitting it off). If my dog likes him, that’s a green flag for me.
Image source: french_baguet
#20
On our first date with my current BF of 2+ years, we were getting along well but the way we really connected was when we started talking about stupid memes… His eyes lit up when he realized that his stupid sense of humor is just like mine!
Image source: BigDee823, gstockstudio
#21
When you find you’re comfortable enough with someone to open up about those parts of yourself that you’d normally be a little afraid to reveal – the insecurities, desires, dreams you hold inside yourself, and that you’re afraid of being mocked or criticized for. And then they react in a safe, supportive manner.
Image source: duhvorced, freepik
#22
When they go the whole date with our [without] touching their phone.
Image source: flpacsnr, freepik
#23
I dated a woman who said one of the things she liked was that I didn’t try anything sexual on the first date. Well, it wasn’t so much a date as we went out with a few mutual friends and hit it off. We got pretty drunk so I let her sleep at my place. We shared a bed, but that’s it.
She was all over me on the second date. Fun times!
Image source: Belly84, freepik
#24
On our first date in high school, my wife tried to pay for the movie tickets and then the snacks at the movie. After the movie she gave me a big hug and we held hands while walking around the mall. We had our first kiss later that evening. I think the green flags were how sweet and caring she is. That was 10 years ago but I will never forget how it made me feel.
Image source: heyhey32, freepik
#25
If either person does something ridiculously embarrassing and the other person laughs. I guess there are situations where someone is literally laughing at you, but usually if you laugh fart or spit food trying to talk and someone laughs at you it’s because they like you, not making fun of you. If they laugh and walk out, yeah, that’s a different situation, but if you’re having a good time and do something embarrassing and the other person laughs that’s a good sign you’re on the same page.
#26
While meeting up with a girl I met on tinder at a coffee house, a little bit of spittle flew out of my mouth and hit her on the forehead while I was talking. I noticed. She noticed. I noticed she pretended not to notice. Clearly she is the kind of person who doesn’t sweat the small stuff. The rest of the date went smoothly.
We’ve been married for 2.5 years now.
Image source: GSquaredBen, gpointstudio / freepik
#27
This may seem weird, but he told me all of his red flags. This could be taken as a red flag in itself, but I really appreciated it. It helped me to understand the person I was getting into a relationship with.
Image source: Zipper_Eden_Ems, freepik
#28
Having a funny discussion. The one kind where you defend blue and she defends red. And in the meantime both are walking through a park, a mall, or just being somewhere.
And when both agree going somewhere just for the experience. I really like people trying new stuff and not complaining for so even though they liked it or not.
Image source: namkash, undefinedstock
#29
Met a guy at a bar, he had a cake tin in a bag next to him.
Two weeks later he baked me a cake for my birthday, and we’ve been together now 19 years,.
Only downside is he never baked me another cake!
Image source: Carborundorumite, wavebreakmedia_micro
#30
Someone who takes responsibility for planning fun activities and puts in the effort to ask meaningful questions. All small talk at a bar is the worst.
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