When one friend is venting, the other is supposed to listen, nod sympathetically, and agree that the universe is unfair. You’re supposed to be a comforting presence, a human security blanket. You are not supposed to be a walking, talking, problem-solving algorithm that offers cold, hard logic. Or so some people think.
The line between ‘helpful suggestion’ and ‘brutal honesty’ is thin, and often invisible to the advice giver. What sounds like a logical fix to one can sound like a deeply personal criticism to another. One woman learned this lesson the hard way when her friend came looking for some sympathy, but instead got the opposite.
More info: Reddit
Offering a logical solution when a friend is just venting is often a risky move, especially when it comes to weighty subjects
Image credits: shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After a woman complained about being cramped and uncomfortable on a flight, her close friend offered some advice for her next trip
Image credits: Nikita Korchagin / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Her friend suggested that next time, she should simply buy two seats for more comfort
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The friend responded by calling them cruel, hanging up the phone, and blocking them on all platforms
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Now, the advice-giver is being trashed by her friend and questioning if she was in the wrong
Our narrator has a simple, unwavering philosophy when it comes to air travel: your seat is your kingdom, and if you spill over into someone else’s, you should be paying for two. She’s not some skinny person judging from afar; as she points out, she’s “big too.” This isn’t about shaming either. It’s about fairness and respecting the personal space you paid for.
So, when her obese friend returned from a vacation with a tale of woe about uncomfortable flights and rude passengers, our narrator saw a problem with a perfectly logical solution. She listened to the complaints and then offered her practical advice: next time, she should book two seats to ensure comfort for everyone. It was, in her mind, a simple fix to the very problem her friend was complaining about.
This piece of practical advice, however, was received with all the warmth of a fire extinguisher. The friend immediately called her a few interesting names, hung up, and then executed the digital equivalent of a restraining order by blocking her on all social media. The fallout continued as she began talking trash about the narrator to their mutual friends.
Now, the narrator is left in the cold, stunned by what she feels is an “excessive” reaction. While she stands by her point, some of her other friends think her comment was “cruel,” given her friend’s sensitivity about her weight. She’s now asking the internet to be the final judge: was she offering a fair, logical solution, or was she just being a massive jerk?
Image credits: shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The OP’s advice, while delivered bluntly, is based on the practical realities of modern air travel. Many airlines have official “passenger of size” policies designed to address the exact issue her friend complained about: comfort, safety, and ensuring every passenger gets the space they paid for. These rules are logistical requirements to avoid in-flight conflict and ensure safety protocols, like seatbelt usage, are met.
A look at major U.S. airlines shows a range of these exact policies. According to a report from Newsweek, airlines like United, Spirit, and Frontier require passengers who cannot fit into a single seat with the armrests down to purchase an additional ticket.
Others, like American and Alaska Airlines, advise buying a second seat in advance, with Alaska sometimes offering a refund if the flight isn’t full. These official rules show that the narrator’s suggestion is a real-world solution that airlines themselves enforce.
These rules extend abroad, too. Emirates, for example, has a firm policy: if a passenger cannot be safely seated and belted, they are required to purchase an extra seat or upgrade. On the other hand, airlines like Air France offer a more supportive approach, allowing passengers to buy a second, adjacent seat at a 25 percent discount.
However, the core of this friendship conflict isn’t the logic of the advice, but the fact that it was unsolicited. The friend was venting about a negative experience and likely seeking sympathy and validation, not a practical, problem-solving lecture. By offering a solution, especially one touching on the sensitive topic of her weight, the narrator shifted from a supportive friend to a critic.
Could you have kept quiet, or are you a fountain of unsolicited advice just waiting to burst? Let us know below!
The poster gained a lot of support online, with many people agreeing that 2 seats are the answer, sparing a thought for uncomfortable seatmates
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