Michael Chapman wasn’t the only man who hated mornings. Depending on your personality, you either love the morning or hate it. Either way, both morning and night people can agree that good morning jokes and puns are a great way to start the day.
Whether you’re waking up at 5 a.m. or starting the day at noon, funny good-morning memes can set the mood for the entire day. Many of us go online first thing in the morning. Although that’s an excellent way to keep up with current affairs, the abundance of negative headlines in the news can increase anxiety. Why not start the day on a good note by checking entertaining content like funny good morning images?
Brew yourself a coffee and get off on the right foot with some handpicked good morning jokes. We’ve compiled plenty of funny morning quotes and puns to make you giggle and brighten your day.
Do you know a morning joke that hasn’t been mentioned, or have some dirty jokes to start the day? Share it in the comments! And if you want even more humor for the morning, check out these mirthful one-liners! It’s time for your daily dose of Vitamin L (for laughter), so let’s get started.
#1 Late Night Antics
My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe that, 2:30am?!
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
#2
I never thought I’d be the type of person who would one day get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
#3 Caught in a Morning Tug-of-War
My morning alarm is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
#4
I wake up in the morning and lay in my bed waiting for my mom to prepare breakfast. And suddenly I remember that I’m the mom.
#5
What happened to the guy that accidentally made his morning coffee with some Red Bull instead of with water?
He got halfway to his work before he realized he had forgotten his car.
#6 Night Owl Logic
I would be a morning person if morning happened around 1 p.m.
#7
I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed.
#8
If you’re feeling down, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed.
That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
#9
Every day at breakfast, I announce that I’m going for a jog, and then I don’t.
It’s my longest running joke of the year.
#10 Still Figuring It Out
The best part of waking up is still a mystery to me.
#11
The morning is great. Its only catch is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.
#12
Why do birds always sing in the morning?
Because they don’t go to work.
#13 Afternoon Person Goals
“Sometimes I can be a real morning person; like in the afternoon when I get up.”
Image source: ImChrisWilson
#14
Waking up early in the morning and getting things done is one of the best feelings ever…
I assume.
#15 Calorie Burn, Pizza Style
How did the man burn 800 calories in the morning easily? He forgot his pizza inside his oven.
#16
Did you hear about the man that got hit by the very same bike every single morning?
It’s a vicious cycle.
#17
I decided to make sure my wife woke up with a big smile on her face this morning…
That’s why I can’t have Sharpies in the house anymore.
#18
I went to a haunted bed and breakfast in France.
That place was giving me the crêpes.
#19 Friends of Mythical Creatures
“I’m very open-minded. I even have a friend who’s a morning person.”
Image source: EmberToAsh
#20
I don’t mind breakfast in bed… But I prefer it in a bowl.
#21
When the man who was visiting his wife’s grave said “Morning” to another visitor, what did the other man reply?
He said, “No, I’m just walking my dog.”
#22
How did Moses make coffee in the morning?
He-brewed it.
#23
I’m a morning person. Every morning when I wake up, I’m mourning the fact that I’m no longer sleeping.
#24
My outfits are typically inspired by the fact that I hit my snooze button 8 times every morning.
#25
Every morning after I wake up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I’m returning this piece of junk to Ikea.
#26 Snooze Button Philosophy
Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
#27
A yawn in the morning is a silent scream for coffee…
#28
Have you heard about the guy who found a bunch of celery every morning on his front doorstep?
He thought he was being stalked.
#29
Bacon and eggs walk into a bar…
The bartender says, “Get out of here! We don’t serve breakfast!”
#30 Tea Time Twist
What happens when you finish drinking your cup of tea in the morning?
It becomes emptea.
#31
What would you say if you had breakfast with the Pope?
Eggs, Benedict?
#32
Bought one of those travelling irons yesterday.
Woke up this morning and it was gone.
#33 Morning Mood Struggles
What takes you the longest to get ready in the morning?
Finding the will to live.
#34
Why don’t helicopters fly in the morning?
Twirly.
#35
What do you call a radio that just works in the morning?
An AM radio.
#36 Building Up Laughs
Did you hear about the man that found a bunch of LEGO every morning on his front porch?
He didn’t know what to make of them.
#37
What did the man say to his wife when she was grouchy all day because they ran out of bread?
“I didn’t know you were lack-toast intolerant.”
#38
How do you feel every day before having your morning coffee?
Depresso.
#39
What would it be called if you refused to go running in the morning?
Resistance Training!
#40 Modern Problems Require This
I was driving to work this morning when I saw a guy texting and driving.
I was so angry I rolled down my window and threw my beer can at him.
#41
I woke up this morning to find all by books and knick-knacks scattered all over the floor.
I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
#42
Some people wake up drowsy. Some people wake up energized. I wake up dead.
#43 Pun Intended
What beverage do sick people have in the morning?
Cough-ee.
#44
What happens when you smell breakfast in the morning?
It would be bacon-ing me and I’d be very egg-cited.
#45
What is a dog’s favorite breakfast?
Woofles.
#46
I couldn’t find the car window scraper this morning, so I used a plastic store discount card to clean my windows.
It didn’t work very well. I only got 20% off.
#47 Morning Jogging Mystery
What happened to the guy that started jogging in the mornings for his health?
It’s now been almost a year no one knows where he actually is.
#48
What would you call having mushrooms every day in the morning?
It’s what champignons eat.
#49
What would you call the alarm clock which always goes off at 2 o’clock in the morning every day?
A ringing nightmare.
#50
Did you hear about the man that woke up in the morning and forgot which side the sun rises from?
It eventually dawned on him.
#51 Techie Morning Humor
What do iPhones eat for breakfast?
Siri-al.
#52
What does a croissant say to a cup of coffee in the morning?
“You’re not really my cup of tea.”
#53
“I’m totally a morning person in the sense that I’m a person and mornings happen and there’s apparently nothing I can do about it.”
Image source: rushbomb
#54
What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice krispies.
#55
What would you say if your dad asks you how the breakfast waffles he made were?
“They weren’t w-awful.”
#56 Morning Mood, Decoded
Good morning is a contradiction of terms.
#57
I love the early hours of the day. It’s a nice place to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.
#58
What would you call it if you spent an entire morning coating a ladder with grease which leads into your attic?
An anti-climb-attic morning.
#59
What did the man say to his son when he wanted a frozen rito in the morning for breakfast?
“Son, you want a brrrr-rito?”
#60 Morning Spill Pun
What would you call it if you accidentally spilled some coffee grinds in the morning?
It was grounded.
#61
What do you say when someone compliments the eggs you cooked for breakfast?
“Well, I’m an eggspert.”
#62
What would you call it if you choke on your water when jogging every morning for a week?
The worst ever running gag.
#63
What do jokesters eat for breakfast?
Pun-cakes.
#64 Mornings Are Overrated
Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don’t do them anymore.
#65
What would you say to your plumber if you heard a tap on your door first thing in the morning?
“You have quite a sense of humor.”
#66
What did the one-legged woman do at the ATM every morning?
She checked her balance.
#67 Pun Intended
What did the man say when he woke up in the morning to find he had turned into a cat?
He said, “Don’t ask meow it happened”.
#68
What does a pastry chef say to himself in the morning every day?
“I’ll be making a lot of dough today.”
#69
How does coffee usually help in the morning?
It makes people coffeedent.
#70
What did the pirate always eat for breakfast?
Captain Crunch.
#71
This morning, my Grandpa walked into my room with a young bearded guy wearing skinny jeans.
I said, “Who is this guy?”
My Grandpa said, “My hip replacement.”
#72 Morning Moisture Mysteries
People think grass don’t be wet in the morning… but it dew.
#73
What did the woman say when she realized that her morning was actually bittersweet?
She said, “That’s the last time I drink spoiled milk with sugar”.
#74
What did the woman say before telling jokes in the ‘early mornings?
“You up for it?”
#75
Have you heard about a Frenchman that choked while he was eating his morning omelet?
He said, “Oeuf.”
#76 Mask Drama Unleashed
What would happen if you were made to promise to put on your mask before going to work every morning?
I’d be late to work every day and definitely get tired of Jim Carey.
#77 Block Party Fail
What would you do if you got up in the morning, ran around the blocks a few times and got tired?
I’d pick up the blocks and put them back in my brother’s toy box.
#78
Have you heard about a man named Aaron who also has a son named Aaron and they go jogging together every morning?
Well, they’re running Aarons.
#79
What happened when the lawyer worried about his court case and forgot to use any coffee filter in the morning?
Well, after brewing, the coffee had quite a lot of grounds to appeal.
#80
What would you call it if you had a gold-colored hot drink in a golden cup in the morning every day?
My gilt-tea pleasure.
#81
What do cows read in the morning?
The moospaper!
#82
What do they call first thing in the morning in Poland?
The Krakow dawn.
#83 Counting From Zero
As a programmer, waking up is the 0th thing I do every morning.
#84
Why did the morning coffee never talk to the herbal drinks?
Because they weren’t really his cup of tea.
#85
What’s the color of the sun when it rises in the early morning?
It’s rose.
#86
Why did the jailer start counting the numbers of all the inmates in the morning?
Because she wanted a con-census.
#87
What do bakers say when they wake up in the mornings?
“Time to get bread-y now.”
#88
Why did the man get arrested for pouring himself a cup of coffee in the morning?
The police thought it was mugging.
#89
Why did the man make his hamster an extra-strong coffee in the morning?
He didn’t want it to fall asleep at the wheel.
#90 Breakfast Motivation Only
The only good part about getting out of bed in the morning is that I get to eat again.
#91
What did the man do when he found all his knick-knacks and books scattered all around the floor?
He just blamed him-shelf.
#92
Which superhero delivers the morning papers?
It’s Newspaperman.
#93
Why were the man and his family crying in the morning?
They were coming back from a moving sale.
#94 Shellfish Morning Fuel
What drink do lobsters have in the morning?
Clawfee.
#95
What does a Moogle need every day when it wakes up?
It needs a kup-o coffee.
#96
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there?
Ewok
Ewok who?
Ewok early this morning.
#97
Why did the man started going for body surfing every morning at the beach instead of watching the news?
Because it kept him abreast of the current events.
#98 Morning Cheat Logic
Why did the man always cheat on his diet in the morning?
Because he thought, at the end of the day, he’s staying faithful.
Follow Us
