Do you know your geometry from your arithmetic and your fractions from your logs? Let’s find out! Think of this as a math class without the quizzes, where every problem has a twist solution, every equation adds up to a laugh, and the math puns keep multiplying.
We’ve got everything from the funniest math jokes for kids and corny number jokes that teachers will love to pun-worthy math problems and geometry jokes that school students will understand all too well. When it comes to math, anything is possible, even making the subject more enjoyable for people who hate it.
Here’s the best part: you don’t need to be a statistician or have a PhD to get these jokes; they make numbers fun for everyone. There are no complex concepts or riddles to solve here (unlike in the math classroom!), so it’s out with strategy and in with chuckles.
We invite mathletes, meme lords, and number-phobes to come together and cast their votes. Which jokes are eyeroll-worthy middle school math teacher gags, which make you think, and which are smart jokes that even the worst math student will enjoy?
Don’t hold back! This unique math-themed learning experience is designed to make math class fun and incorporate some silly humor to brighten up even the most challenging curriculum.
Put down your pencils and math trivia, and focus on the laughs. It’s time to find out which funny math jokes and puns get an A+, and which bore you as much as algebra homework.
#1
Just before they start math class, the teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
“Yes,” Johnny said, “my daddy taught me”.
“Can you tell me what comes after three?”
“Four,” answers little Johnny.
“What comes after six?”
“Seven”.
“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your father did a good job. What comes after ten?”
“A jack,” Johnny answers.
#2
A man is lost in a hot air balloon over some dense fog. He sees a woman on a mountaintop peaking through the fog.
He calls down, “Hello, do you know where I am?”
The woman on the mountaintop pauses a moment, then says, “You’re in a hot air balloon over a mountain”.
The man replies, “Oh, great, you must be a mathematician”.
Surprised, the woman says, “Yes, how did you know?”
The man tells her, “Because you thought about it, gave me the right answer, and it was completely useless!”
The mathematician replies, “You must be in management”.
“I am,” says the man. “How did you know?”
“Because you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, I answered your question, and now your problems are somehow my fault!”
#3
A farmer counted his cattle in the pasture. He had 196 cows.
But there were 200 when it was time to round up.
#4
We all know why six was afraid of seven: because seven ate nine.
But why did seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat three square meals a day.
#5
Little Teddy was doing very poorly in math, and his parents had tried everything. As a last resort, they enrolled him in the local Catholic school.
After his first day, Teddy came home with a very serious look on his face, went straight upstairs, and started studying. His parents were amazed at his dedication.
This went on for a while, and his parents couldn’t figure out what had changed. Finally, little Teddy brought home his report card. His mother looked at it, then gasped in shock because her son had gotten an A in math.
She went upstairs and asked Teddy, “What was it? Was it the nuns?”
Teddy shook his head.
“What about the curriculum? The lesson structure? The books?”
Again, Teddy shook his head.
“Then what was it?”
Little Teddy looked at her and said, “Well, on the first day I saw that guy nailed to a plus sign on the wall and I realised they weren’t messing around!”
#6
Susie handed in her math homework, and the teacher gave her an A+.
“This work is very good,” the teacher said, “but it looks like chicken scratch!”
That evening, Susie went out into the garden with her math books, opened the coop, and said, “I think she’s onto us, Mathmachicken.”
#7
How did the constipated mathematician solve his problem?
He worked it out with a pencil.
#8
The retired mathematician opened a fast food shop called Subtraction.
They only do takeaway.
#9
Two mathematicians are taking a plane together to a conference.
After it has taken off, the first one turns to the other and says: “You know, I always get nervous on flights that something terrible is going to happen. That’s why I brought a bomb this time”.
The other replies, “A bomb? Are you crazy? How is that supposed to make you feel safe?”
The first says, “Well, the chances that someone brings a bomb onto a plane are low. But the chances that two people brought a bomb are effectively zero.”
#10
There are three types of mathematicians…
… Those who can count, and those who can’t.
#11
The great mathematician, Aryabhatta, once asked his wife, “Will you let me go out alone to enjoy drinks with my friends over the weekend, every month?
His wife replied, “What is the probability of me saying ‘yes,’ as per your calculation?”
That was when Aryabhatta discovered “zero.”
#12
A Spanish magician tells the audience that he will disappear on the count of three.
He says, “Uno, dos…”
POOF!
He disappeared without a tres.
#13
Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X.
She’s not coming back, and we don’t know Y.
#14
Noah’s Ark settles on dry land, and all the animals disembark. Noah goes back inside and sees that two snakes are still there.
He looks at them and says, “The Lord said go forth and multiply. Beat it!”
The snakes look at him and one says, “We can’t multiply, we’re adders!”
#15
Are vampires good at math?
No, unless you count Dracula.
#16
What do mathematical mermaids wear?
Algae-bras.
#17
I once tried to quickly make a square out of paper, but ended up with an octagon.
That’s what happens when you cut corners.
#18
Why do they never serve beer at math parties?
Because you can’t drink and derive.
#19
What do you call a triangular teapot boiling on top of Mount Everest?
A high-pot-in-use.
#20
When I came home today, I saw that my bird cage was open and my parrot was nowhere to be found.
Polygon!
#21
Why did the student do multiplication math on the floor?
The teacher told him not to use tables.
#22
I challenged 1 to a fight. When he turned up, he brought 3, 5, 7, and 9 with him.
I knew the odds were against me.
#23
The teacher asked little Johnny to create a sentence using the word ‘geometry’.
After thinking, Johnny says, “A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, “Gee, I’m a tree.”
#24
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t cosine.
#25
Why does an obtuse triangle lose every argument?
Because it’s never right!
#26
Why should you always stand in the corner of a room when you’re cold?
Because it’s always 90 degrees.
#27
Why is the Statue of Liberty’s little finger only eleven inches long?
Because if it were twelve inches long, it would be a foot.
#28
The first child of a family goes to college to study math.
When he comes home, his proud father asks what he has learned.
The freshman tells him, “I learned pi R squared”.
To which the father replies, “That’s crazy! I always thought that pies are round!”
#29
The math teacher saw that a boy wasn’t paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, “What are 2, 4, 28, and 44?”
The boy thought about it, then replied, “NBC, FOX, ESPN, and the Cartoon Network!”
#30
What do mathematicians and the Air Force have in common?
They both use pi-lots.
#31
Who was the most well-rounded knight at King Arthur’s Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
#32
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer.
The bartender rolls his eyes, pours two beers, and says, “I’m cutting you all off. You need to learn your limits.”
#33
A mathematician is studying in his office late at night when his couch suddenly catches fire.
He grabs a nearby blanket and uses it to squash the fire and put it out. Then he goes back to studying.
A short time later, a book on his bookshelf catches fire. The mathematician rushes to grab the book, then he throws it onto the couch, setting it alight again.
He goes back to studying, satisfied that he has transformed the new problem into a problem with a known solution.
#34
Why are jokes about math the worst?
Calculus jokes are too derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are too wordy, arithmetic jokes are too basic, and division jokes have nothing to them.
#35
The math teacher called Tommy up to the front of the classroom and asked him to draw a square on the board.
Tommy drew a circle.
Angry, the teacher said, “Go and stand in the corner!”
Tommy smirked and replied, “What corners?”
#36
Two mathematicians are having a conversation about their love lives.
The first says, “My girlfriend is like the square root of -100”.
“Don’t you mean 100?” The second asks.
“No,” the first replies. “She’s a perfect 10, but she doesn’t exist.”
#37
A mathematician organizes a lottery, and the prize is an infinite amount of money.
When the winning ticket is drawn, the jubilant winner rushes down to claim his prize.
Then, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: “1 dollar today, ½ dollar next week, ⅓ dollar the week after that…”
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