A viral TikTok video exposes a saddening level of inequality that many wives and moms face in heterosexual relationships.
Lynalice Bandy, known on the platform as @5kids5catssomedogstoo, shared a time-lapse revealing the chaos of her home after working six consecutive 10-hour days, while her husband did nothing to help.
The rooms were left in disarray with toys, food, and laundry scattered everywhere, and Bandy’s story is a vivid reminder for men to take on their fair share of domestic duties.
In one of her TikTok videos, Lynalice Bandy showcases what disparity in household responsibilities between spouses looks like
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
After working six consecutive 10-hour days, Bandy found a scene of absolute chaos, highlighting her husband’s lack of contribution
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Frustrated and exhausted, Bandy reaches her breaking point and makes a courageous decision to divorce her husband
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Gary Becker, the Nobel-winning economist, proposed a theory that, in the past, marriage was about efficiency: husbands specialized in earning and wives in homemaking and child-rearing.
But things have changed. In the United States, 46.6% of the workforce is female. However, they still fulfill a larger share of responsibilities.
In different-sex relationships, women do around 65% of the physical household work. Chores that are routine – for example, cooking and cleaning – tend to fall to women, while intermittent chores, such as sorting out finances or mowing the lawn, are more likely to be done by men.
Add the burden of cognitive labor, like remembering birthdays and organizing play dates, which also disproportionately falls to women in heterosexual relationships, and the load gets exhausting pretty fast.
You can tell that she really cares about her household and puts in a lot of effort despite her extensive work schedule
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Image credits: 5kids5catssomedogstoo
Bandy’s TikTok has since gone viral
Eve Rodsky, an attorney and author of Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do (and More Life to Live), was also experiencing an unfair division of household labor, which she said made her feel a sense of “seething resentment” toward her husband.
However, Rodsky emphasized that it doesn’t have to be this way and that it’s actually possible to divide domestic tasks fairly if partners are willing to put in the effort, and it can help reduce stress at home and give back precious time to both. Everything starts with candid conversations about domestic contributions and a reevaluation of what matters in your home.
She and Jacqueline Misla, a lifestyle coach and co-host of Curious Fox, a love and relationship podcast, shared a practical guide on how to divvy up, prioritize, and assign chores and the steps look like this:
But of course, everything is much harder or even impossible when the other person simply isn’t listening.
Bandy’s video has garnered immense support from thousands of women who empathize with her experience
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