My own personal favorite is I was trying to explain something in Orchestra class, forgot the term “key signature” and said, “it changes from a 2-3 finger pattern to a 3-4 finger pattern.”
It was very funny. It was also a Monday.
#1
I was leaving the restaurant that my niece worked in having finished dinner. She walked me to the door, just then the owner walked up and she introduced me to him. After the normal pleasantries, he asked how dinner was…”Delicious was dinner” was my answer. He said “thanks Yoda”.
#2
My friend and I were talking about how time works(like, how does it move? What is it?) and I tried to say “very profound” and it came out as “much wisdom”
I then corrected myself and said “WAIT NO I MEANT MUCH PROFOUNDNESS”
We had a good laugh at that
#3
(Got four shots and took headache and pain medicine. I was high I think. Or something.)
Me: Hey Friend how you are today.
Friend: What? Are you okay?
Me: Yo.
Me: I had to much feel better liquid.
Friend: … Go back to bed.
#4
I was talking to a girl in orchestra once and we were talking about our new seats.
I said “I kinda like my new seat because for the last concert I didn’t have a music partner. No, partner music. Music stand.”
There was a moment of silence and she said “Do you mean stand partner?”
Thank goodness the bell saved me just a second later.
#5
Not me but my son. When he was three, we were leaving my sister-in-law’s house and he declared; “I’m going to take a little rat nap on our way home, mommy.” It still cracks me up to this day!!
#6
I actually got detention over this, because it was “inappropriate and sexual.” I said, “this banana gets big and really comes to you” instead of “this book grows and really attaches to you” Can you guess what they thought I meant? Yeah, I’m not gonna say,
#7
phone support situation. Really hectic day. I picked up the phone, whacked myself in the head with the receiver and said “Fiserv, this is A****. Can I help it?”
#8
I meant “lapsus” but said “lap dance” while talking about a previous speaking typo I had already made.
Follow Us
