Shame can be both productive and toxic, there’s no doubt about it. It may make us lift our rears and get things done, and sometimes we all need that extra push of “I am gonna show ‘em all.’’ But the truth is, people can get real nosy and may want to get into stuff that has little to do with their business.
So when Redditor u/Dodongicepick posed a question “What is a healthy behavior that people shame others for?” on r/AskReddit, it seems like it really hit a soft spot for many. People are now sharing all the eye-opening stuff that often becomes a target of undeserved criticism and it makes you wonder how on earth this has become the norm. Just let them live!
Below are the most interesting responses, so scroll through and be sure to share what you think of it in the comments section!
#1
Spending time alone. Seriously, you think me spending a week talking to nobody is the issue? How about the fact that you can’t spend 5 minutes alone in fear of accidentally reflecting upon yourself?
Image source: Grendel_Grim, Anthony Tran
#2
Taking medication for depression. I have been in situations where I have sat and listened to people talking about how they would NEVER take medications. I have had depression since I was 8. 41 years of struggles and it is offensive and it hurts when people do that. F**k all of you for judging.
Image source: My_fair_ladies1872, Nastya Dulhiier
#3
Choosing not to have kids if you don’t feel like you’d be a good/happy parent or be able to support them (emotionally, mentally, financially, socially).
Like I don’t think I really want kids because I don’t think it would be good for me/I wouldn’t be super happy as a mom.
I’m on my way to full financial stability but I won’t even consider it until I’m there. My mom keeps pushing me to have a kid even though I still drive an 08 piece of shit, rent, and have $60k student loans. Like, I’m not there, my kid is gonna have to go without like I did and I personally don’t want to actively try to have a kid so they can go without.
If I did change my mind, I would want to make sure they had a really fulfilling life. My mom had me because she wanted a kid. She got knocked up by a dude that didn’t want me so I grew up without a dad. She was a poor, alcoholic. I grew up shit and hated most of my childhood. I don’t want to be selfish like her and inflict that on a kid “just because I wanted a kid”.
Image source: Googul_Beluga, Charlein Gracia
#4
Doing things that are normally thought of as social activities by yourself. Like eating at a restaurant, or going to a concert, play, or movie.
Image source: ipakookapi , Bagir Bahana
#5
Doing something you enjoy but being bad at it.
Image source: donwileydon, Rifqi Ali Ridho
#6
Being a fat person at the gym. They gotta start somewhere.
Image source: alaskalovepup11, Inspired Horizons Digital Marketing
#7
Talking to yourself.
it’s a good way to problem solve or even just vent about something.
Image source: Vanilla_Neko, Fa Barboza
#8
Men crying.
Image source: htownlifer, Tom Pumford
#9
Estranging from toxic parents.
Image source: doublestitch, Christian Erfurt
#10
Being an introvert.
Image source: MastRiptide, Maria Victoria Portelles
#11
Not taking business calls after work hours, everyone should take Portugal’s example and pass some sort of law against it.
Image source: Much_Committee_9355, NordWood Themes
#12
Not having Facebook.
Image source: kcam3114
#13
Not drinking every time you go out with friends.
Image source: SoNotJohnny, Andra C Taylor Jr
#14
Not forcing your kids to hug others. My distant relatives can be so butt hurt when my kid doesn’t want to hug them, but I’m not going to force my kid to hug someone.
Image source: Agitated_Pattern_599, Xavier Mouton Photographie
#15
Refusing unreasonable requests. Just saying “no” in general.
Image source: uninc4life2010, Jon Tyson
#16
Being single. I had this horrible experience where I wanted to be single for a bit and also just wasn’t meeting anyone I was really interested in. I was perfectly fine with not having a boyfriend but my friends hounded me about it constantly. Always asking me why I was single, telling me I was too picky, would show up to hangouts with men and ask me why I didn’t go for it. Me saying I was fine with being single was never a good enough answer. So I started to feel self-conscious about being single, felt like I was under a microscope so if I did meet someone I felt uncomfortable having my friends cheering me on. I was young so I didn’t know how to handle it so I just kind of dealt with it but it sucked. Let your single friends be single unless they are asking for your help, advice, and opinions.
Image source: SailorSpoon11
#17
Grieving. People tell you to get over it because they’re uncomfortable.
Image source: blackdove047, Luis Galvez
#18
Choosing not to be religious at all, lacking the same religious intensity, or believing in a religion that the other person doesn’t believe in.
Image source: MountainBlitz, Noah Holm
#19
I got laughed at by my brother and his wife during Thanksgiving when I said I was starting to diet. Like, I get it. I’m a fat guy. Unfortunately, I can exercise, but that’s only half the battle. It actually really hurt my motivation, ngl.
Image source: TheAlmightySpode, Siora Photography
#20
Asking questions.
Image source: Seam0re, Artem Maltsev
#21
Being wrong. It’s healthy to express opinions and ideas. When we shame people for being wrong, we tend to stop new conversations from happening. In this way, we lose opportunities to understand where others are coming from and squander opportunities to change minds. Further, we push all the wrong-headed people into groups where they can go nuts following their wrongness to its logical conclusion. Just stop humiliating people for holding opinions and having bad ideas. And remember everybody does.
Image source: addisonaddisonii, Andrej Lišakov
#22
Going to bed early.
Image source: Smooth_Arachnid8146, Lux Graves
#23
Politely and respectfully expressing negativity. Bottling negative emotions just for the sake of “being positive” really eats you up over time.
Image source: Largicharg
#24
Being slow to respond. I would rather respond correctly than quickly. Same for confidence level. If I am unsure it means I want to double-check. It seems more irresponsible to speak off the cuff. But I think the reality is that the fast talkers are rewarded more, even if they are wrong.
Image source: wyzapped, ROBIN WORRALL
#25
Calling in for a mental health day. There’s no good option. You call out and make yourself look unreliable or you go to work unstable and make yourself look unstable.
Image source: pintotakesthecake, Nik Shuliahin
#26
Walking away from an argument or tense situation. There’s no way I can have a proper and productive discussion if I’m wound up! I’d rather take a quick walk or have time to myself before I tackle the issue. A clear head is more important than figuring out a conflict quickly.
Image source: Tamaguts, Jessica Da Rosa
#27
Human sexuality. All through high school my mom was all “stay away from boys! They only want one thing and they’ll say anything to get it! Don’t be one of those foolish girls who gets tricked and knocked up and has her life ruined!”
No parties. No dating. No makeup. I wasn’t even allowed to TALK about guys being cute without her side-eyeing me.
Then I go to college and halfway through freshman year she’s like “why don’t you have a bf? Get out there! Meet someone! Why aren’t you more social? And PUT SOME MAKEUP ON!”
She meant well but…it was very confusing.
To this day I’m shy around guys I like because of that woman.
Image source: WestbrookIsaBadIdea
#28
My family doesn’t think I should cook or clean and that my wife should do it all as it was in their dysfunctional marriages.
Image source: ConsternationBias, Hannah Busing
#29
Wearing a mask.
Image source: cisternino99, Mika Baumeister
#30
Men taking care of their own kids.
Image source: HappyCajun69, Derek Thomson
#31
Getting up from your desk for 5min and taking a breather, only acceptable if you smoke it seems, not actually for just getting fresh air. I get why so many people smoke cigarettes.
Image source: LonelyMan427
#32
Breastfeeding a baby in public
Image source: sciamachthrowaway, Dave Clubb
#33
Taking a healthy amount of time to take care of yourself, rest, or recoup.
Image source: paintbrushvolcanoe, Dan Burton
#34
As a man, using sunblock. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve been heckled on the golf course for putting sunblock on my face before being out in the sun for the next 4-5 hours.
Image source: mox44ah, Onela Ymeri
#35
Talking to a therapist regularly. It’s a purchase of time to help work through complex emotional issues in order to have more bandwidth in other areas. Good for all regardless of mental state.
Image source: Vic_FriesFriesFries, christopher lemercier
#36
Not getting into fights with your significant other.
Had a friend that tried to convince me that it was unhealthy for my wife and I not to get into fights. I tried to explain that when we disagreed with each other about something we talked it through and trusted each other enough to listen and be receptive to the other person. She just rolled her eyes and said that it would happen eventually because to her what we were doing was just bottling things up. I couldn’t convince her that the reason she got into fights was that she and her husband bottled things up until they exploded and that’s why she got into fights.
Image source: The_Regicidal_Maniac
#37
Being polite and non-confrontation. There are people who see this as a sign of weakness and will take advantage/abuse those who aren’t assholes.
Image source: SPACEMANSKRILLA
#38
Minding your business. Some perceive it as you not liking them.
Image source: sjuled, Christopher Sardegna
#39
Turning off your phone sometimes.
Image source: LucyVialli, Misael Moreno
#40
Not shaving pubic hair. What most people don’t know is that pubic hair can protect you by keeping harmful bacteria out of ya genitalia.
Image source: CityVirtual4704, Helen Barth
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