If you thought muscle jokes were some kind of power jokes, think again, because what I actually meant here were literal muscles. The ones we often forget to train in the gym. It’s okay, we’ve all been there… multiple times. But whether you keep promising yourself you’ll start working out next Monday or actually do plan the rest of your day around scheduled gym sessions, you will definitely appreciate some fitness jokes.
Jokes about fitness can be a great motivation. Everything seems much easier and more pleasant if you can have a good laugh about it. And let’s be honest, there are plenty of situations in the gym that ask for creating some exercise jokes.
Even if you have never been to the gym before (it’s okay, I get it), working out jokes and gym puns might be the reason you break that habit and actually sign up for a session. Personally, I am not the biggest gym rat you’ll find, being more of a swimming pool/dancing cardio person, but each time I realize a trip to the gym is inevitable, finding a bit of fitness humor does help a lot.
So before you talk yourself into your next workout or if you genuinely enjoy fitness and exercise, I suggest you take a look at the jokes we collected for this article. And don’t forget to let us know in the comments about your gym habits.
#1
“While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill. People started giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.”
#2
A man in my gym just proposed and she said no.
They didn’t workout.
#3
“It’s been six months since I joined the gym, and still no progress! I’m going there in-person tomorrow to see what’s going on.”
#4
“I don’t hate leg day. It’s the two days after I can’t stand.”
#5
“My bank just called me about suspicious activity on my account. They didn’t believe I bought a gym membership.”
#6
“I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.”
#7
“I’m like a ninja at the gym. Because you’ll never see me there.”
#8
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii.
It’s now called the Ironman Triathlon.
#9
“I go to the gym religiously… about twice a year, around holidays.”
#10
Why was the farmer get kicked out of the gym?
He was destroying his calves.
#11
Why isn’t the personal trainer paying rent?
He’s squatting.
#12
“I asked my trainer at the gym if I could start shadow boxing. He said, “Knock yourself out!””
#13
How do you find the gym at Hogwarts?
Look for the dumbbell door.
#14
“I asked my girlfriend to meet me at the gym but she never showed. I guess it just wasn’t working out.”
#15
“I always start my gym sessions with 20 minutes of stretching, pulling, and bending. Then I’ve finally got my gym clothes on and I can start my workout.”
#16
“I’ve found running is a great way to meet new people. Unfortunately, they’re normally paramedics.”
#17
Why did the bodybuilder cross the road?
He didn’t. Yesterday was leg day.
#18
“I’ve been going to the gym for five years now and I still don’t have abs. It sucks being the cleaner.”
#19
“I just saw real a real idiot at the gym. He put a water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.”
#20
“I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.”
#21
What does a priest do when he goes to the gym?
He exorcises.
#22
“My first week in the gym was great. I lost 10 lbs already. I have no idea where I put those weights.”
#23
“I just signed up for a 12 month membership at a gym. My bank called wondering if my credit card got stolen.”
#24
What do you call an Astronaut that goes to the gym?
Neil ArmStrong.
#25
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
#26
“I started using this new machine at the gym. But after an hour, I got really sick. It had everything though: chips, Oreos, the works!”
#27
What exercise do hairdressers do in the gym?
Curls.
#28
What is a banana‘s favorite gymnastic move?
The splits!
#29
What happened when the personal trainer brought a bear to the gym?
His clients got ripped to shreds.
#30
“I asked a personal trainer “Do you need to eat chicken to get muscles?” He said “No whey!””
#31
Why do hamburgers go to the gym?
To get better buns.
#32
Why does the trainer at the gym have to keep getting new clothes?
Because people keep telling him he’s ripped.
#33
What kind of gym do Christians like to go to?
A CrossFit gym.
#34
Why doesn’t Waldo (from “Where’s Waldo?”) go to the gym?
Because no one can spot him.
#35
A man walks into a gym and asks the receptionist, “What machine should I use to impress women?”
She responded swiftly, pointing outside the door, saying, “The ATM machine, sir.”
#36
What’s the easiest way to get a six-pack at the gym?
Take the beer from your fridge and smuggle it in.
#37
“It was a real pain canceling my gym membership… They made me hand in a too weak notice.”
#38
What’s the best gift you can give to a gym addict?
A mirror!
#39
A gym junkie is counting loudly in the gym as he does bench presses.
“1! 3! 5! 7! 9!”
Says another gym-goer, “Do you even lift, bro?”
To which the gym junkie replied, “Nah, I only lift odd, bro.”
#40
What’s the name of Cardi B‘s super-fit gym-focused sister?
Cardi O.
#41
Why did the Uber driver cancel his gym membership?
Because he didn’t even Lyft, bro.
#42
Why don’t you see many haunted gyms?
Everyone inside is exorcising.
#43
What did the Christian say to the ladies at the gym?
“Hallowed by thy gains.”
#44
What’s it called when a rapper goes to the gym for 20 minutes?
A Lil Pump.
#45
“I joined a gym 6 months ago and still haven’t lost a pound. Tomorrow, I’m heading down there in person to find out what’s going on.”
#46
Why did the cheese go to the gym?
It wanted to cheddar couple of pounds.
#47
Did you hear about the marathon runners who got married?
It started out as a long-distance relationship.
#48
How did the brontosaurus feel after his workout?
Dino-sore.
#49
A British man made a New Year’s resolution to lose some weight, so the next day he signed up for a gym membership.
He never went once, but he still lost £.
#50
“Last time I went to the gym I hopped on the treadmill, but people were looking at me funny so I decided to run instead.”
#51
“I’ve been lifting weights for a week and I already dropped 25 pounds. Unfortunately it landed on my big toe and broke it. Guess I can’t go back to the gym until it’s healed!”
#52
Why is the heart the strongest muscle in the body?
Because it’s always pumping iron.
#53
What’s a pig’s strongest muscle?
The hamstring.
#54
What do you call someone who’s attracted to anyone with big muscles?
A bicep-ual.
#55
A bodybuilder once died of a protein overdose.
He’d taken whey too much.
#56
Why did the bodybuilder read the dictionary?
He was trying to learn how to define muscle.
#57
Why don’t cows skip leg day?
Because they care about their calves.
#58
“Of course I have a 6 pack! It’s so great I’m using this beer belly to protect it.”
#59
“I had to fire my personal trainer. I was tired of all the ab use.”
#60
“I always avoid the gym for the first 3 weeks of the year. Which is really no different than what I do on the other 49 weeks.”
#61
“The guys at the gym called me a fat loser. It’s really great how they notice my effort.”
#62
Why teddy bears don’t go to the gym?
They don’t wanna get ripped.
#63
“I started going to the gym a year ago and so far I lost 500 pounds! The only problem is I’m British.”
#64
“I’ve been squatting at the gym. I sleep in one of the lockers. So far I haven’t been busted.”
#65
“I’ve been going to the gym for six weeks now and I have noticed some huge improvements. For one, they’ve fixed the vending machine.”
#66
“My local gym costs $120 for an entire year. That’s $60 per visit, not a great deal.”
#67
“I have been hitting the gym recently. I’m not getting fitter, but my hand is getting darn bloody.”
#68
What do you call Elon Musk when he’s been to the gym a lot?
Muskular.
#69
“I got kicked out of my gym in the middle of kickboxing class. Turns out they do not have kickboxing classes.”
#70
“My gym instructor advised me to wear loose clothing while exercising. I would not have joined the gym if I had any loose clothing.”
#71
Why do you have to wait while at the gym?
Because you get buffer.
#72
What do you call a Canadian gym?
A YMC, eh?
#73
“There’s a police officer at the gym I’m going to. I asked him to stand behind me on the track so I run faster.”
#74
Elton John found a baby rabbit at the gym the other day.
It’s a little fit bunny.
#75
Where do obstetricians exercise?
At the OB-GYM.
#76
“I’m thinking of joining a gym. I’m keeping mentally active.”
#77
“I was suspicious or my girlffriend cheating on me with this guy from her gym. So i pick up her phone at night when she’s sleeping. And drive to this dude’s place on the other side of the town and go to stand on his porch to see if the wifi connects.”
#78
“I did 100 crunches at the gym today… but they threw me out because I was getting crumbs everywhere!”
#79
Why are mathematicians so fit?
They’re always working out!
#80
Google+ is the gym of social networking.
We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
#81
“Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body. I said, “I don’t know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was.””
#82
Chuck Norris only works out once a year… that’s about all the gym equipment can take.
#83
Can you imagine what 7 days without exercise would be like?
A weak.
#84
Sit-ups are the best type of exercise for lazy people.
You get to lay down between each one!
#85
A girl saw her boyfriend flirting with other girls at the gym.
She walked up to him and said this isn’t working out.
#86
What is the bodybuilder’s version of cardio?
Lifting weights faster.
#87
Why did Charles Darwin start working out?
He believed in the survival of the fittest.
#88
Why did the depressed man start doing bench presses?
He had some things he needed to get off his chest.
#89
Leg day is important if you want to get a step up in life.
#90
Seven bodybuilders have been found dead in a gym.
Police are on the look for the mass murderer.
#91
How did the duck get into the gym?
“I don’t know, but it worked out.”
#92
What exercise does Ned Flanders do at the gym?
Diddly squat.
#93
“I want to start running twenty four-hour gyms. And they’ll all be open 11-3 daily.”
#94
“I went to the gym on my own Accord this morning. I mean why would I take someone else’s car?”
#95
“While at the gym a good looking woman approached me and asked me, “have you tried skipping?” I replied, “like with a rope?” She replied,“no like skipping a meal.””
#96
Where do monkeys go to work out?
The jungle gym.
#97
“I stopped going to the gym and started drinking instead. I call it Bacardio.”
#98
“My friend has been going to the gym, because people kept calling him “fat” and “ugly”. Now they just call him “ugly”.”
#99
“I got into an heated negotiation with someone on offerup over some gym equipment. Hopefully it works out in my favor.”
#100
“I just created a fitness app for insects. It’s going pretty well, although I’m still working out the bugs!”
#101
“I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me: “Come on man, you’ve got to want it! Come on push. You can do it.” I hate being disturbed when I’m having a dump.”
#102
“She said “Gym or me”. Sometimes I miss her.”
#103
“The only exercise I have done this month… is running out of money.”
#104
“I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.”
#105
When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
#106
“I wear black to the gym because it’s like a funeral for my fat.”
#107
Exercise, because zombies will eat the slow ones first!
#108
Why can athletes lift more than prisoners?
Because the pros outweigh the cons.
#109
“I called the local gym and asked if they could teach me gymnastics. They asked, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Mondays or Fridays.””
#110
Why doesn’t the fisherman go to the gym?
He pulled a mussel.
#111
Why did the man get arrested at the gym?
He asked someone to check out his guns.
#112
A gymnast walks into a bar…
She gets a two-point deduction and loses the gold.
#113
“I once knocked a guy off his bike… I’ve since been banned from that gym.”
#114
Why did they open a gym in hell?
So you could exercise your demons.
#115
Did you hear about the pumpkins that went to the gym?
They wanted to become jacked-o-lanterns.
#116
Why wasn’t the gym for ants successful?
The owners just couldn’t seem to get the bugs out.
#117
What do you call a gym that’s really dirty?
A gymnastium.
#118
If you run in front of a car you might get tired, but if you run behind a car you’ll get exhausted!
#119
What do you call someone who’s really into stationary biking?
A cyclepath.
#120
Why was the burglar popular at his gym?
Because he always did a great job wiping down his equipment.
#121
Why is it a good idea to do your workout in the morning?
Because you can get it in before your brain wakes up and realizes what it’s doing!
#122
“Yesterday at the gym I heard someone trying to convince a bodybuilder that yoga is a workout. He thought it was a bit of a stretch.”
#123
Why didn’t the physical therapist want to talk about his muscle fatigue course?
It was a sore subject.
#124
A man got hired as a personal trainer, but when he realized he wasn’t qualified he had to put in his too weak notice.
#125
Why couldn’t the man trust his personal trainer?
He was always pulling his leg.
#126
An instructor was walking around a gym and saw a man doing crunches while holding a cat.
“What are you doing?” the instructor asked him.
The man said, “I’m trying to get purrfect abs!”
#127
“I started going to the gym in my tuxedo, everything went well except the weight lifting. It’s not my strong suit.”
#128
What did the superhero with a lisp say after going to the gym?
I’m Thor.
#129
“I forgot to bring my protein powder to the gym today. I guess I should’ve prepared whey in advance.”
#130
Why do you need patience at the gym?
Because there is a lot of weighting.
#131
Did you hear about the weightlifting vegetable?
He was a muscle sprout.
#132
You know the best part about being the only person at the gym that uses a speed bag?
There’s no punchline.
#133
“Started going to the gym and I dropped 10 pounds very quickly. Thankfully the dumbbell missed my foot.”
#134
“Some girls at my gym were saying I was related to Bruce Lee. I had to politely let them know I wasn’t, and my name isn’t Ugg, either.”
#135
If the corporate building for a company is called a headquarters, what do you call the gym?
Bodybuilding.
#136
“I was pulled over while driving home from the gym. The officer said “you’ve been swerving all over the road, have you had anything to drink?” “Yes” I answered, “but only two light beers.” As he saw the two empty kegs in the back he said “those don’t look like two light beers!” I replied “perhaps you should work out, they’re only about 16 kilos each.””
#137
“A friendly reminder that gyms get really busy around the new year as people make their resolutions. So it’s best to wait for it to die down, usually around January 2nd.”
#138
The gyms must remain open.
The Constitution guarantees freedom of the press.
#139
What does a pirate do before working out at the gym?
Changes in Davy Jones’s locker room.
#140
“I went to the gym to practice my comedy routine but nobody found it funny. It was a tough crowd.”
#141
An American is exercising in a gym.
“This workout is intense,” he huffs. “My heart is pounding.”
“Eh?” says a fellow next to him.
“Oh sorry, I forget that you’re European. My heart is ‘kilogramming’,” he replies.
“Oh yeah same,” says the European.
#142
“I heard Tiger Woods has been hitting the gym lately. Been crushing legs.”
#143
Redbull doesn’t give you wings.
Last pulldowns do.
#144
“It would be great if menus listed burpee equivalents instead of calories. Like, if you have that pumpkin spiced latte, you might as well get down and do 367 burpees.”
#145
Why did the gym-goer get arrested?
She killed her workout.
#146
Treadmills get you nowhere.
#147
A peephole was found in the gym locker rooms.
The police are looking into it.
#148
Some priests started a bodybuilding group.
They have a lot of muscle mass.
#149
Friend No. 1: Why do you like going on night runs so much?
Friend No. 2: The added fear of being murdered really does wonders for my cardio.
#150
What do chickens work on in the gym?
Their pecks.
#151
Have you heard about that new gym that sends trainers to your door unannounced?
It’s called Jehovah’s Fitness.
#152
Did you hear about the guy weightlifting on Wall Street?
He was hoping to get some capital gains.
#153
What’s it called when you refuse to do core workouts?
Ab-stinence.
#154
“I went to my local self defense gym and asked if I can take two classes today. They said, “No, you can taekwondo.””
#155
“My first time in the gym went really well! I did 20 minutes of cardio, 10 minutes on the defibrillator and 3 days in hospital!”
#156
What do you call a dirty gym?
A gym-nation.
#157
“My account said I’m crazy for investing all my money in my idea of building a business that offers a boxing gym, a dentist, and a manicurist all under one roof. But I told him I’m going to fight tooth and nail for it. Now if I could just think of a clever name for it, I’d be all set…”
#158
What does Bigfoot do at the gym?
Sasquats.
#159
“I was passing gym class with flying colors until we got to the skiing unit. It was downhill from there.”
#160
Two Canadian body builders were working out at the gym. After they were done, they sat together in the locker room.
One turned to the other and said, “I’m sore, eh?”
The other said, “What for?”
#161
What’s the difference between garbage and a home gym’s weights during the COVID quarantine?
The garbage gets picked up once a week.
#162
“I was looking for a gym one day, and I saw a sign saying “Fitness that way”. So, since this seemed promising, I went down the hall, and there were more signs. I went up the stairs, walked through the hall, went up two stairs, walked through two more halls, walked down three stairs, walked out of the building, walked around the building, went into the building, went up ten stairs, walked through five halls, walked down eleven stairs, went up one stairs until I reached a sign which just read: “End of Fitness.””
#163
What do you call a guy who loves working out?
Jim!
#164
“No time for gym? Please tell me how you watch 3 hours of TV every night.”
#165
A man moved into a new apartment and was telling his work-out buddy about it in the locker room.
The buddy asked, “Is there a gym in the building?”
“I don’t know,” the man answered. “I haven’t met everybody yet.”
#166
Which cereal puts in the most time at the gym?
Shredded Wheat.
#167
Two guys meet at the gym to play handball. They start changing, and one guy notices his friend is wearing a sexy black bra.
He says, “When did you start wearing that?”
The other guy says, “Right after my wife found it in my car.”
#168
Jack checks out of his hotel after 3 nights, but can’t believe the size of the bill.
Jack: “Why so much?”
Manager: “It’s not just the luxury bedroom, we also provided you with a swimming pool, gym, games room…”
Jack: “But I didn’t use any of those!”
Manager: “Maybe, but you could have!”
Jack takes a pen and a seat, adjusts the bill and presents it to the Manager.
Jack: “I’ve deducted 3 nights of intimacy with my wife.”
Manager, spluttering: “I never had relations with your wife!”
Says Jack: “Maybe, but you could have!
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