Gossip Girl 3.19 “Dr. Estrangeloved” Recap

The stage for the season finale of Gossip Girl has been set, even though it is two episodes away. The only thing missing is Georgina Sparks, but a little birdy told me to not count her out just yet. How did William Baldwin fare as the oft mentioned William van der Woodsen? Fittingly perfect.

My, What a Week Can Do For Your Attitude…

The Upper East Siders are all in a somewhat cheery, if not stressed, mood. We have Blair, who is determined to get over Chuck by throwing away everything she owns affiliated with her ex and throwing a bachelor party in her favor to seal the deal; Jenny, who is still hopeless trying to win Nate over and makes a deal with Chuck Bass to do so, but CB has his own reasons why he wants Nerena finished; and finally Serena and Lily, who are riding back to the city… happy and bonding. Um…what?

Turns out that Serena listened to what Lily had to say, which must’ve been a damn good excuse for Serena to forget her hatred for Lily that has dominated most of this season. But the crap really hits the fan when Rufus gets a visit from William van der Woodsen, who comes bearing secrets and bad news all wrapped up in a nice, black bow.

The Father, The “Ex”, and The “C” Word

When Lily and Serena finally return, Rufus (and the audience) finally gets to the bottom of Lily’s duplicitous nature this year: she has cancer. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! William has been her doctor and he has treated her since she discovered her illness. William helped eradicate the cancer, which has went into remission, and Lily has been just going to checkups. Rufus is understanding… for now. Serena just wants to work through her feelings about William’s return, which she gets to do when William asks to have lunch with her.

Meanwhile, Rufus confronts Lily about her reasoning behind lying to him. Lily explains that William advised to not let them know, because once your family knows you are sick, they will start to treat you as such and your body tends to respond to that type of treatment prematurely. Um… Ok. Rufus is only furious that Lily listened to what William to her and didn’t get a second opinion.

While Serena listens to William’s tales of his travels since he left, she still can’t get over the fact that he left. William reveals that he never intended on leaving, but got the shaft when a risk he took involving moving the family to Tibet didn’t pan out and Lily got fed up. Serena still doesn’t think that is good enough, because he still could have been there for her and Eric. While the father and daughter continue to talk, Rufus shows up, making it clear that he wants William out of their lives. Later, while Rufus explains to Serena the history between him and William, Lily gives them bad news. Her latest test results have come back, and they are not in her favor. NOOOO!!!!!!!!

Rufus, Lily, William, and Serena sit and discuss the next best move, which William suggests should be to get started on treatments that he has no problem administering. Rufus cries a subtle ‘hell no’ by saying that he thinks Lily should not only get a second opinion, but a second doctor as well. William has no problem with this, but offers a colleague as a substitute. Serena then makes her voice heard by announcing that she wants William to continue being Lily’s physician, since he’s family and all. Lily seconds this suggestion. Rufus nearly grates his teeth in agreement.

Later, William tells Serena that he wants a second chance to do better at the fatherhood thing, especially after everything that has happened. Serena agrees to do just that.

But later, William is seen on the phone asking someone else to make another prescription for Lily since nothing is going as he planned. When the person does not comply, William threatens to tell the authorities about their shady activities. Is William a rogue doctor?!?!?!

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do, But Moving On Is Hell Personified

Blair is devastated when no one shows up for her bachelor’s party. She immediately smells Chuck’s name over her “dating fatwa” and confronts him about it, but he claims to not know what she is talking about. He continues by saying that every warm-blooded male in the UES knows that they can’t measure up to him in being compatible to Blair. She decides that she will have to prove him wrong. So who does she turn to? Dan Humphrey.

She asks Dan for help in finding a guy to kiss so that it will appear on Gossip Girl and piss Chuck off, but Dan gives her something better. There is a party for art students, which Blair thinks is a genius setting for her scheme. Little does she know, Chuck Bass’s influence knows no boundaries.

When Blair arrives, she’s on the attack. She finds one guy named Cameron, who is surprisingly into her, but she nearly has a heart attack when she sees Chuck, who watches her like a hawk. Some time goes by and Cameron tries to kiss her, but Blair keeps dodging to the point that Cameron comes clean about ignoring that Blair’s attention is really on Chuck. He can tell that they are exes and suggests that Blair kiss him to show Chuck that she’s moving on. Blair goes in for the kiss, but we don’t see it. Did she do it?

It seems not. After Chuck bumps into her, she tells him that she finally realized that they had something special and that no matter how much she denies that, it will always be true. BUT, she WILL move on and the day she does kiss someone it will be for her and not to piss Chuck off. She later goes home to retrieve the stuff she threw out that reminded her of Chuck and resets them in their respectable places. Awww…. and Chair fans across the globe are LIVID!!!!

We Need Someone to Kick Jenny’s Ass, STAT!!!!!

Lil Jenny has worked my last nerve with this Nate business, but I must endure it for at least one more episode. Like I said earlier, Jenny gets advice from Chuck on snagging Nate, but Chuck has his own stake in the situation. He wants Nate back as his sidekick and Serena is irritatingly in the way. He suggests that Jenny seduce Nate, and if that doesn’t work, then make it seem as if something is going on between her and Nate. Jenny has the perfect idea to go with the latter plan. After spending the night with Nate, Jenny helped herself to Nate’s shirt as a nightgown; the same shirt that Serena wears when she is with Nate. Trouble, trouble…

Jenny gets her first dig in when she bumps into Serena, who notices the shirt in Jenny’s purse. Jenny lies as if she spent the night at another friend’s house first, then lies that the shirt wasn’t Nate’s. Before I can slang my laptop at Jenny’s head, Serena says screw it and calls Nate, who doesn’t answer. When Serena finally does see Nate, they argue about each other’s lies. Jenny watches from afar in glee.

Later, Nate and Chuck have some words and Nate is still pissed at his best bud. Chuck says that he only wants Nate back by his side and it’s like a repeat of season one. Chuck informs Nate of the art party in Brooklyn, which he suggests they attend to release some stress. Oh, and he ‘invited’ Jenny along.

While at the party, Chuck does reconnaissance on Blair and Nate just stands there. Serena calls Nate wanting to talk all of a sudden after their blow up earlier, but Jenny comes and Serena sees red and hangs up on Nate. This is the last straw for Archibald and he is ready to get hammered, but not at the party. He wants to go back to Chuck’s loft with Bass and Jenny. Chuck tells the two to go ahead, Jenny is delighted.

When they get back there, Jenny tries to convince Nate of how Serena is no good for him. She goes in for a kiss that Nate dodges right when Serena walks into the apartment. It is on like Donkey Kong in Hong Kong!

Serena and Nate get into it again, but this time Jenny jumps in by saying that Serena isn’t right for Nate and that she stands by everything she said. Then the two troubled lovebirds put two and two together (FINALLY!!) and realize that Jenny is a wannabe vixen and kicks her ass to the curb. Serena then sits Nate down and comes clean about Lily and admits how scared she is about the whole thing. About damn time…

This Week’s Vanessa and Dan Drama Is A Doozy…

Dan gets the rejection letter from Tish and is let down, which is why I don’t understand Vanessa’s reasoning for picking this time for announcing she got the spot instead. Dan is shocked, but Vanessa says that she wouldn’t have entered if she had of known that the school was trying to fill one spot. Lies. Dan shakes it off and tells her how much he is proud of her by congratulating her. He then suggests they go to the party in Brooklyn.

Later, Willa informs to Dan that Vanessa, in fact, did know about the one person spot and that she did it anyway. Stunned, Dan let slip that Vanessa based her script on one of his short stories, which goes against the rules of admission, according to Willa, whose father just so happens to be on the board of admissions at Tish. Willa goes on a lovelorn rant about how Dan should’ve gotten the spot and that she can report all of this to her father to have Vanessa’s application reviewed. Dan begs for Willa to not do that, but she does so anyway after he leaves her presence.

Dan gets the third shock of the day when Vanessa shows him the actual piece that she wrote for the Tish spot, and lo and behold, it’s an original play. Dan is immediately gobsmacked again when Willa calls him with news that Vanessa could be in deep poo with the review board. What is a Humphrey to do?

He goes to a party and confronts Willa about her actions, but Willa gives the same “she (Vanessa) doesn’t deserve you” speech that Jenny preps for Nate. After surviving a kiss from Willa, Dan is saved by Jenny (who Willa calls a slut). While talking with his sister, Dan spots Vanessa talking with Willa, and she doesn’t look happy at all.

Dan and Vanessa have some words, mainly about Vanessa lying and Dan lying that he was okay with everything. Bottom line: nobody came out a clear winner and we have limbo people!!!

Will Dr. van der Woodsen make his move next week in his duplicitous scheme? Will Chuck learn to grow up and leave the games behind? Because it seems that Blair (surprisingly) has… Will Serena stay with someone at the end of this season? Can Lily beat her ‘cancer’ again? Did she ever have it? Can someone please slap Jenny? Please?!!!

See you next week!!!!!