Despite the major shift in acknowledging LGBTQ rights around the world made in the past years, acceptance of homosexuality is still sharply divided by country, region and economic development. And you don’t need to go far to see people’s views on LGBTQ issues clashing—often it takes as little as one family unit.
So this story posted on r/AITA comes from a dad of two teen boys, 18 and 15 years old. The younger one has recently started dating his best friend and they’ve been close ever since growing up. When the family went on an annual trip to visit their aunt, the boys arrived as a couple.
But as soon as the boys showed each other affection, their aunt got enraged at them for acting inappropriately in front of her children. The incident escalated up to a boiling point, and now dad wants to make sure whether his parenting technique is really not okay, as his sister claims.
Image credits: South_agency (not the actual photo)
So he penned this post on r/AITA aiming to find out whether he really did anything wrong
Bored Panda talked to Peter Karys, the director of youth counseling and support at NYC’s LGBT Community Center, who said that acceptance and support for LGBTQ teens is absolutely vital. “Everyone deserves to be loved for who they are, and that includes LGBTQ young people,” he said and added: “Especially in a world where other places such as school, sports teams, workplaces, and even public spaces may not be welcoming, or may even be hostile to LGBTQ folks, family should be a refuge.”
Peter explained that for young people, not being able to find support for who they are takes a dangerous toll on their mental health. “Rejection from family increases feelings of anxiety and depression, and heightens their risk of substance use.” “At The Center, we see firsthand the positive impact that affirming and supportive parents, caregivers, and family members (both chosen and by birth) can have on young adults’ development, sense of self-worth, confidence, and comfort with their own identities. This plays an important role in increasing their success in other areas, such as relationships with peers, academic success, and an overall sense of empowerment and well-being.”
When it comes to parents of LGBTQ kids getting backlash or criticism from their family members, Peter says that overall, “it’s always important to maintain an open mind.”“At the same time, it’s also important to pay attention to what people are criticizing you for. Are they critiquing you for seeming too supportive of your LGBTQ child? If so, remember that that is something that has not been proven to have negative impacts—and in fact, the reverse is certain, that research has shown that it’s dangerous for a young person to not receive enough support,” Peter explained.
He continued: “Now, depending on your relationship with the person offering criticism, this may present a moment for learning. Ask questions to try to understand their point, and explain how your parenting techniques are shaped by values that you may share, such as compassion, love, and respect.”
Peter also encourages sharing how science has confirmed the necessity of family support and affirmation for LGBTQ young people. “Building empathy in this way can help bridge a gap,” he concluded, referring to families where people are divided over accepting LGBTQ family members.
For more information, support and advice, please visit The Center and talk to their amazing team that focuses on what is in the best interest of the child, while grounding the relationship and the collaborative work in a parent’s and family’s love and concern for their child’s well-being.
People weighed in on this whole situation and this is what they had to say
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