Anesthetics are meant to make you feel comfortable enough and feel as little pain as possible during a potentially agonizing medical procedure. Being in that medicated state can sometimes lead to hilarious encounters.
A few years ago, this was the topic of a Reddit thread, where medical professionals shared the wackiest things patients said while under anesthesia and essentially in an altered state of consciousness.
Scroll through and enjoy these comedy gold moments. If you have similar stories, share them in the comments!
#1
My dad (italian) was waking up from anesthesia and kept looking at his asian nurse and saying he was so glad his daughter was with him. And that he loved his daughter. The nurses were confused, so they went out into the waiting to check for his daughter. I was the only one in the waiting area, and when they saw me and started hysteically laughing. I am korean by birth, but what adopted by my lovely Italian family :).
Image source: PoppingKittens, Wiroj Sidhisoradej
#2
“I’m preparing to salsa dance”.
#3
Not anesthesia but delirium. Introduced the oncoming nurse to the patient. The patient gestured grandly around the room and said “(nurse’s name), meet all my friends!!”
….to an empty room.
Image source: bc_poop_is_funny, DC Studio
#4
Obligatory not a doctor, but I was the patient. I had to get my wisdom teeth removed at the hospital because they were really messed up. When I woke up, the nurse was going through the routine to make sure I was not brain dead. She asks me my name by saying “who are you?” I respond with, “I’m a lesbian.”
My parents were in the room. They didn’t know at the time. That was how I came out.
Image source: PLANETshaker22, DC Studio
#5
Dislocated my shoulder in a way that my arm ended up stuck up over my head. Apparently, while all hopped up on demarol I was laughing hysterically while the doctor was standing on the table/gurney wrestling with my arm to get it back into the socket. I don’t remember a thing.
Image source: original_4degrees
#6
A woman was absolutely distraught that she was going to be made to eat asparagus and was repeatedly telling us that she did not like asparagus, especially with eggs, and was politely rejecting the asparagus she thought we were constantly offering her.
Image source: affogatohoe, freepik
#7
I was throwing up loads when I came round and had a pile of those cardboard sick buckets next to my bed. But I realised if you turn an empty one upside down it looks like a mini fedora. So I put it on my head and every nurse that walks by I tipped my hat and said “Milady”.
Image source: rham17, Krabberfrabber
#8
This woman undergoing C-section under spinal anesthesia said ‘Show my baby first to my brother-in-law, he deserves to see her first’. I sometimes wonder what happened to her marriage after that.
Image source: anon, vedrana2701
#9
The most memorable funny one was a guy who sat bolt upright, mime rolling a cigarette and tuck it behind his ear “saving it for ‘ron” when I asked what he was doing.
Anaesthesia can be a wild trip.
The kids will always scream when they wake up.
Image source: neeeeerrrrrddddd, freepik
#10
I had double jaw surgery to correct my underbite.
I took sign language in college.
They typically don’t wire your jaw shut anymore, they just use strong rubber bands, but you can still talk. I knew I’d be able to talk.
Yet when I woke up from the surgery, apparently I kept trying to sign. The nurses were like: “Uhh, we don’t know sign language, honey.”
Based on how little I remember from college, I’m certain it wasn’t even *good* sign language.
Image source: shitty_owl_lamp, freepik
#11
Was recovering a patient after surgery who got a med which has a known side effect of making you super emotional. When she woke up she started cat calling me telling me how attractive I was. Then she got worked up because she was thirsty so I told her I could get her ice chips. As I am getting her ice chips she starts to go “I hate to see you leave but I love to see you go”. As I disappear to get her some ice chips she starts crying real tears that she scared me off and how sorry she was.
Image source: darksidemojo
#12
Had a patient come into recovery after surgery. She farted so long and loud the entire 20 bed unit heard her. Then she said “I was trying to clear my throat, excuse me. And I want a vanilla latte, I got a headache”. As medical professionals, we had to hold in the laughter but that didn’t stop patients from turning into hyenas.
Image source: anon, drobotdean
#13
Not a medical professional, but my mom was coming out from under anesthesia after a procedure a few years ago and I was trying to help her. She puckered her lips so I picked up her water cup and asked if she wanted some. She turned her face toward me and said, “Do I LOOK like an AIRPLANE?!”
The nurses and I completely lost it. I still tease her about it sometimes.
Image source: Audginator, Rafael Minguet Delgado
#14
Not a doctor, but I was told by my dentist that when he was prepping me to remove my wisdom teeth, I asked him why he became a dentist. I vaguely remember him telling me a story about how when he was a preteen he was at a local pool, running around when he slipped and smashed his chin on concrete and shattered some of his teeth (ouch). He was amazed at how well they reconstructed his teeth that he decided to go into dentistry.
Apparently, I then looked this man in the eyes and said, “Well that’s a stupid reason to become a dentist.”
Sorry, Dr. J 😬.
Image source: molegirl420, macniak
#15
18-year-old girl “recognized” the (male) anesthesiologist from tinder last week and accused him multiple times of not showing up to their agreed date – while randomly falling half-asleep in between. As we put her back in bed she mumbled that she is not even mad, just generally disappointed in men and that she still thinks he’s pretty.
Image source: SpectacularSociety, Good Faces Agency
#16
Not medic but patient:
I had appendix surgery after a preventive 2 day fasting (water was ok) and anesthesia hit me pretty hard.
When I was told I had to use one of those plastic urinals or whatever because they said the abdominal effort could make me faint I just said:
“I ain’t gonna poo on a plastic tupper, If I pass out in the toilet like a hero, then let it be”.
Image source: kristenshortley, freepik
#17
The very first time I was under I was in third grade and was relatively scared. What kept me brave was the promise of burger king breakfast afterwards. It was an early morning procedure that required fasting and I rarely got fast food. They ended up running behind that day so it was up in the air if I would wake up and get out in time to get my breakfast (which ended at 10). The first words out of my mouth were “What time is it.” When my mom informed me it was already about 9:30 I tried to get out of bed and nearly ripped out my IV in the process. When she tried to tell me that we would be late and I could get it another day I promptly burst into tears.
Edit: I did get my burger king a different day. Thank you all for your concern.
Image source: fatiguedaardvark
#18
I was the patient, but right before Christmas a couple of years ago I had my gallbladder removed. In the recovery room as I was waking up I became obsessed with singing the 12 Days of Christmas song. I kept asking the nurses what order the verses were in. As they were wheeling me out of the room I heard a nurse belt out “Five golden rings!” Which was followed by everyone’s laughter.
Image source: Songspiritutah
#19
I apparently can’t handle my anesthesia.
The first time I “woke up” I asked the nurse if I was going to be able to “fight” by Monday. My wife properly translated that to “can he teach his wrestling class”.
Before we went home, she wanted to drop off my prescriptions at CVS. She left me locked in the running car. After she dropped off the prescription, she turned around to find me in the CVS standing in the frozen dairy section holding german chocolate ice cream. I told her I needed it “because my people made it”.
Car was still running with the passenger door left open.
Image source: eidas007
#20
Oh god I woke up sobbing. I was convinced that I was married to Cedric Diggory and he had just been ended by Voldemort. I’m cringing so hard just thinking about it. I was inconsolable.
Image source: JamesLilian
#21
I sat straight up in the bed (they tell me) and shouted “I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS!” Then I turned to a nurse and pleaded, “Okay, ma’am?”.
Image source: theseattlegirl
#22
I had gotten 4 wisdom teeth out in July, and I was under anesthesia for an hour. When I was done, I woke up in a chair and asked the nurse where I was. She said I was at the dentist and I said “STILL?????? JESUS CHRIST.” And she thought that was funny. On the drive home, there was a turtle in the road! My mom stopped to let him pass and I got out and tried to catch him. I have a video of me laughing at the turtle.
Image source: anon
#23
Not a doctor but my grandma was still loopy from surgery when they brought her lunch, including a roll with a little pat of butter. She looked at grandpa and said, “I hope they don’t expect me to eat ALL THAT BUTTER!”.
Image source: anon
#24
My mrs has had multiple surgeries over the years! She’s normally pretty quiet in recovery! But one time she was in a really upbeat mood and for some strange reason she was reciting the lyrics to gangster paradise by coolio! Everybody on the ward later that day was talking about the gangsta rap lady!
Image source: mdhzk3
#25
The last few times I’ve come out of anesthesia ( dental implant, colonoscopy, etc) I’ve looked at the nurse and asked if I was out of the anesthesia. When the nurse said yes, I asked if Trump was still president. When the nurse said yes, I asked to be put back under.
Image source: mooresmsr
#26
Patient came into the ED as a trauma, got med sedation for an emergency procedure:
“I’m deaaaaaaaad”
“No, you’re ok, we’re taking care of you”
“I’m a ghoooooost. Whooooooo!” *wavy arm motions*
Ok.
Image source: talashrrg
#27
TLDR: Grandma thinks she’s Jesus Christ reborn and I try to sing Christmas carols.
Grandma: A few years ago, she broke her wrist and had to have surgery to get a metal plate put in. In the operating room, she was on the table and her arm (with the broken wrist in question) was strapped to an arm extension, so she looked like she was put on the cross with one arm.
She had been given anesthesia (she was still conscious) and a nurse was standing next to her.
“How’re you feeling, Jan?” the nurse asked.
With a monotone voice, my grandma looked the nurse in the eye and said,”I am Jesus Christ.”
Me: I had to get a few cavities filled last year after school. After checking in and getting in the chair, they administered the lidocaine (dental anesthesia) and nitrous oxide (laughing gas). I should mention that this happened a couple months after December.
During the operation, I took a deep breath through my nose and the gas mixed with the anesthesia really hit me. I felt like I was floating in space.
What do you do when you’re floating in space?
Sing Christmas Carols of course!
The dentist and the assistant, having filled two cavities at this point, were double checking the x-rays before starting the third filling. I started trying to sing “Jingle Bells” while they got started on that filling. My face was too numb to actually make any sounds audible.
For the rest of the other fillings, I tried to impress the world with my singing.
Image source: Raging_Utahn
#28
My uncle kept saying one of the nurses was a werewolf whenever she left the room.
When I was coming to from my wisdom teeth removal I kept asking where my teeth were. They had tossed them and I was super upset.
“But I need them for the tooth fairy. That jerk owes me a lot of money.”
My mother who was there then said “you know I’m the tooth fairy right?”
“Yes”
Sorry mom.
Image source: xparapluiex
#29
In the early days of my surgical training, there was a day that I was assigned to a colonoscopy list. Standard practice is to premedicate patients in the anaesthetic bay if required, particularly if they are a bit anxious about the procedure. I was clerking one of the patients in the anaesthetic bay, going through consent and the usual preop routine when I noticed that she was giving me these weird side-long glances and that her eyes would dart away everytime I tried to make eye contact with her. She was also extremely fidgety and was stammering a lot in her responses to my questions. I kind of shrugged it off as preoperative nervousness and let the anaesthetist do his business.
Fast forward 10 minutes and I’m standing behind her; she, curled up into the fetal position with her bum hanging out and I, colonoscope in hand. As the propofol starts rushing through her veins, she turns right around, grips my forearm and stares up at me with a dreamy look on her face and goes: “You know what, Doc? I bet you’re good with the ladies.”
A moment later she was asleep and I was checking her colon for polyps.
Image source: anon
#30
A girl I worked with told the story of how she got grounded from age 15-18 because of anaesthesia.
She was having a colonoscopy, and as she was a minor her mother was in the room with her. After she was sedated, and as the technician started to insert the scope, she mumbled, “No, not again, [boyfriend’s name], it hurt last time.”
Her mother was not amused.
Image source: soxfan1525
#31
I gave a kid methoxyflurane after he broke his arm. When we got to the hospital he went into the paediatric section of the ED and there were stickers on the wall of sesame Street characters. He started talking about this unicorn on the wall (there wasn’t one) and how it was trying to be friends with elmo but elmo didn’t want to be friends with him. His mum and I had a chuckle and I had to pry the whistle out of his hands.
Image source: EllaCassi
#32
“Am I in hell?”.
Image source: anon
#33
Woman woke up from surgery and said to her husband, “David! That alarm clock has a nose and it’s running! Wipe it!”.
Image source: FunnyQueer
#34
Anesthesiologist here. During recovery from general anesthesia, I called one of my patients by his full name in a loud voice. He opened his eyes suddenly jumped upright and sit on the bed and he said something : Sir, yes sir! He was under military service at that time.
Image source: kabourayan
#35
IANAD but when my sister got her wisdom teeth out she screamed in the car until we stopped and let her out (near our house) and she sprinted back to the house because she wanted to race the car… I need to go find that video.
Image source: thedreamlan6
#36
When my brother was waking up after a surgery, my mother was there taking care of him but he couldn’t stop laughing. When he was finally able to squeeze out a few words he said: “mom, hahaha, mom your so ugly!”.
Image source: Feisty_Monkey
#37
My brother had top surgery and woke up from being put under. My step mom (whom I call “Mom”) recorded him talking about how Abe Lincoln was a great guy. She asked him how he knew and he replied with: “I knew him back in ‘Nam”.
And that’s the story of how my brother fought side-by-side with Abe Lincoln back in Vietnam.
Image source: MisanthropicWalrus
#38
When I was a toddler, my mom fell off our roof and broke her back. Apparently she was terrified she was going to become a vegetable, because after her back surgery she asked the nurse, “Am I a broccoli, or a cauliflower?”.
Image source: tananda7
#39
NAD but… I kept asking about puppies that I swear I heard barking. I just wanted to see the puppies and know why the puppies were there. I was so upset that no one else had heard puppies barking.
Image source: thequeenzenobia
#40
Vet tech here.
Dogs and cats come out of anesthesia in an assortment of different ways. But this one husky I swear lifted his head and said. “thank you” in that strange way that some dogs can actually sound human in their bark/voice.
The other tech and I just looked at each other and said, “holy hell, did he literally just say that?!?!
Image source: rainbowsandlolipops
#41
Had a dementia patient tell me her favourite food was mouse. I was very torn between laughing and crying.
Image source: dragontruth
#42
I didn’t hear this directly but I was told about a guy that made a Futurama reference and told the doctor to tell his wife he said hello. Guy was single.
Image source: ForgeDwarf
#43
Just before I went under (I was a child and there were fish stickers on the ceiling) I said “da fishies are movin”
Image source: Cooldudeyo23
#44
I’m a doctor and was getting a knee reconstruction, and asked one of my best friend’s dad to do my anaesthetic. He was head of department at the hospital I worked at at the time.
Apparently after he gave me the Midazolam (to chill time out and basically I forget everything from then on), he inserted a local anaesthetic block into my leg.
The next day he told me what happened..
Apparently, I then told him it’s not working and he should have done it higher up and o tried to grab the needle from him to show him, after I asked if he knew what he was doing. I also complained the bed was cold.
We still have a good laugh about it.
Image source: kmirak
#45
Everytime I wake up from anaesthesia I ask the nurses for food. Then I complain that they are not allowed to feed me in recovery and that I was a good girl and didn’t eat before surgery. There is usually a meal waiting for me by the time I get back to my room. Everytime it feels like the best meal I’ve ever had.
Image source: little_miss_argonaut
#46
Anesthesiologist told me that as I was going down that I was describing my fingers feeling like French fries, but French fries after you take them home and put them in microwave so they’re soggy and not as good.
Image source: Hefty-Bus
#47
I start singing when I wake up from anesthesia. Rando songs like Bonny M’s Rasputin or the theme song from Spiderman.
When the doctor comes in to talk to me I keep going and get louder. My last doctor started singing along which I really appreciated. Side note: I’m tone deaf.
I also called a nurse a strong elf this last time. I have also done history lectures (my topic of choice is medieval European history).
Image source: liasim
#48
We sedated this older white lady to reduce a shoulder dislocation. I don’t remember what it was, but the doctor said a couple words in Spanish, with the most gringo pronunciation imaginable. This woman was almost completely out, but her eyes shot open and she sharply corrected the doctor’s pronunciation before passing out. We were all trying so hard to keep it together while we were working on her shoulder.
I did have one patient that wasn’t under anesthesia, but *was* a bit confused. This poor lady had some absolutely rancid fecal squirts all over her bed. It was everywhere. I went in, doing my best to not succumb to the acrid burning in my nose and make her feel okay about it. But she sees the poo in her bed and her eyes go huge. Then she says “I KNEW that man pooped in my bed!” I asked her what she meant and she said “There was a man here earlier, and he pooped in my bed. I know it was him because I would never have done this.” So I gently told her “No I’m the only man that’s been in your room.” So of course the conclusions she came to was not exactly what I expected from that. She then gets upset and asks “Well then why did you poo in my bed?”
I was really trying hard to calm her paranoia that there was someone coming in just to take a dump in her bed, under her blankets. But apparently I sent the wrong message. I was trying so hard not to laugh. I actually had to step out for a minute because I couldn’t keep it together.
Image source: Officer_Hotpants
#49
Young guys often wake up from anaesthesia a bit punchy.
Had a guy who fractured his mandible on holiday in SE Asia, didn’t get it seen to until a few weeks later when he came home, so fixation was more complicated than it could have been and took so long that we had to shuffle his pants down halfway through to put in a catheter.
so he woke up quite abruptly with his pants at half mast and his bladder feeling.. funny.. and was furious, swinging at everyone, shouting that he was in his own house, and he wanted to pull up his own pants and who were we to stop him??
This carried on for a full five minutes, with our very quiet ENT surgeon and anaesthetist sweetly trying to reassure him that everything was ok, calm down, you’re just waking up etc.. before I got sick of him, got up close and broke the spell with a big angry ‘MATE!!! WOULD YOU SHUT UP??’
It was like a switch flipped. His eyes opened and he was instantly alert, oriented and so apologetic!
Image source: outtamywayigottapee
#50
When I was recovering from having all my (impacted) wisdom teeth pulled, I wanted to wake up all the way. I recited Jabberwocky to try to get myself to focus and make myself more alert. Fortunately, nobody came into the room because I would have been really embarrassed and had to explain why I was talking gibberish.
Image source: heynonnynonnomous
#51
I had a colonoscopy done at age 15. I can’t remember but apparently, according to my mother I said, “doc, after that you owe me dinner and a movie.”.
Image source: anon
#52
I was the patient, waking up from an appendectomy. I grabbed the nurses hand and said ‘was it successful?’
She just kind of sighed. Probably the most basic operation there is, not exactly brain surgery.
Image source: McPigskin
#53
My son was going for a minor procedure, nothing serious.
Being a typical dad I told him that they had to shave all the hair off his body for it.
When he came round he kept asking the recovery nurse if he still had eyebrows.
Image source: anon
#54
Not me, but my sister (straight) asked her nurse (female) to bring her on a date to McDonald’s.
My uncle woke up and started singing Hit Me Baby, One More Time. Apparently he thought he was Britney.
I haven’t done anything funny but I’m having surgery next week so I’ll be interested to see if i do anything stupid.
Image source: anon
#55
I am a table.
Image source: Qasim_m
#56
I was coming out of anesthesia for a scope of my esophagus. As I was awaking the nurse palpated my stomach and commented “good, nice and soft” to which I groggily replied “that’s because I don’t work out”.
Image source: badge13
#57
I had a septoplasty a few weeks ago, woke up in recovery insisting I didn’t want the surgery anymore and to put it back how it was. Then when the nurse was pushing me in a wheelchair to the front door I got up 20 feet before the exit and started sprinting out of the building and halfway across the parking lot to the wrong vehicle. The whole time my dad was chasing after me. So for me it turns a 29 year old into a toddler. I’m so lucky I didn’t face plant or get hit by a car.
Image source: -ChabuddyG
Follow Us
