Just when you think that we’ve exhausted all the possible topics for funny jokes, we pull more out of our sleeves. Yup, as we have once promised, we won’t stop delivering cool jokes to you until every possible topic is explored and all the possible laughs have been laughed. So now it is time we present you with our latest and greatest selection of fruit jokes! Yup, those sweet and tart edible things you never thought you’d laugh at.
Yet here we are! And you better believe us when we say that these jokes about fruits are just glorious. Lemons get their share, dragon fruits get their share, and don’t forget about bananas! Oh, and there’s also a sneaky little cameo from tomato since it’s a fruit, after all, and is definitely worthy of being sung about in these funny jokes about fruit. So, basically, you name a fruit, and there’s a hilarious joke about it on our list!
So, ready to check out our selection of fruit puns and jokes? If so, just scroll on down below to where all the goodness lies! Once you are there, be sure to vote for the best jokes on fruits you encounter in this list, and once that’s all well and done – share this article with your friends.
#1 Raisin Awareness, Not Just Punny
“I was telling my children about the health benefits of eating dried fruits recently. It’s really all about raisin awareness.”
#2 Date night came with a surprise snack
“I had my first date last night! Such an underrated fruit.”
#3 Fruit: The ultimate personal space hack
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
An orange a day keeps the plumber away.
Basically, if you throw fruit at people they go away.
#4 I see what you did there
What is Dracula’s favourite fruit?
Neck-tarines!
#5 Melon puns hitting different today
What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe?
“You’re one in a melon!”
#6 Math jokes never tasted this sweet
Why can’t you make a crumble with 3.14 blackberries?
Because that would be a pie!
#7 Proof that bears know their limits
How many marmalade sandwiches did Paddington Bear eat?
None, he’s already stuffed!
#8 Okay, but where’s the jazz juice?
What do you call an apple that plays the trumpet?
A tooty fruity!
#9 Peak snack pun energy
What do you call the time in-between eating a load of peaches?
A pit stop!
#10 Fight me, it’s a vibe
“You may think I’m crazy for eating ham and pineapple sandwiches but hey, that’s just Hawaii roll!”
#11 Sangria sabotage level: expert
“My wife hates it when I mess with her red wine. I added some fruit and orange juice. Now she’s sangria than ever.”
#12 Grow Up, It’s Pear Time
What did the papa pear tree say to his child pear tree who was too afraid to grow his first fruits?
“Son? Grow a pear.”
#13 When tomatoes crash the fruit party
A tomato walks up to a bunch of fruits in a line.
He says, “Hey guys I’m a fruit, can I hang out with you?”
One turns to him and replies, “No, this is the punch line.”
#14 Figured fire season needed more flavor
Hear about the fire at the dried fruits factory?
It was an apricotastrophe.
#15 The Great Fruit Debate, Papaya Edition
“My family is divided on the question of imported fruits. My mom says no. Papaya.”
#16 Berry good vibes only
What do you call a bunch of strawberries playing instruments together?
A jam session!
#17 Moodier than your ex’s playlist
Which fruit always feels sad?
A blue-berry!
#18 Citrus Got Jokes
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemon-Aid!
#19 Citrus Roast Level: Expert
What did the lemon say to the lime?
“Sour you doing?!”
#20 Piecing together holiday vibes
What do you get when you cross apple pie with a Christmas tree?
Pineapple pie!
#21 Peachy jokes always hit different
Why were the chefs shaving peaches?
Because they needed nectarines for the recipe!
#22 Peak pun energy
What do you call a piece of art made by a fruit?
A masterpeach!
#23 Plot twist: Fruit has jokes too
What did the fruit say to his valentine?
“I love you from my head tomato!”
#24 This joke just snuck past my guard
Why did the tomato go to the ball with a prune?
Because he couldn’t find a date!
#25 Banana fact: mind officially blown
Husband asked his wife, “Did you know there’s a fruit you can eat that provides your daily requirement of potassium?”
Wife: “That’s bananas.”
Husband: “I know. I couldn’t believe it either.”
#26 I’m not even mad, just confused
“My wife is on a tropical fruit diet and our fridge is full of strange stuff. It’s enough to make a mango crazy.”
#27 That mango’s got legs, honestly
Usain bolt must be a fruit.
Have you seen that mango?
#28 Love hurts, but fruit heals
I heard a cactus fell in love with a fruit tree.
They make a prickly pear.
#29 Plot twist: lime gets its own gallery
“I’m obsessed with sketching pictures of fruit, and I really think I should stop. I have to draw the lime somewhere.”
#30 Fruit squad goals
What do you call it when your friends encourage you to eat more fruit?
Pear pressure.
#31 Pun intended, and I’m here for it
What fruit likes to go down slides?
Ki-wheeee!
#32 Plot twist: fruit with a schedule
What’s a calendars favorite fruit?
Dates.
#33 Dad Joke Level: Expert
What did the little cob of corn call his father?
Pop Corn!
#34 Plot Twist: Grocers Are Just Butchers in Disguise
Vegans think butchers are gross.
But people who sell vegetables and fruits are grocer.
#35 That’s one royal chill-out snack
What was Prince’s favourite dessert?
Raspberry sorbet!
#36 Citrus Request Level: Expert
What does a lemon say when it wants a hug?
“Give us a squeeze!”
#37 Plot twist: They’re picky eaters
What kind of monkey doesn’t eat bananas?
An orangutan!
#38 Vitamin C for the win
Why do oranges do so well in school?
They concentrate!
#39 Pun game: perfectly baked
Why did the apple pie go to the dentist!
Because it needed a filling!
#40 Peeling off the SPF logic
Why do oranges wear sun cream?
Because their skin peels!
#41 Fruit humor that’s honestly too ripe
Why was the peach late to work?
He had to make a pit stop on the way!
#42 Classic Dad Move
What did the daddy tomato say when his child was falling behind on their walk?
“Ketchup!”
#43 I’m here for the fruit puns
What do you call a snake made out of pineapple?
Ananas-conda!
#44 Classic dad joke energy
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Figs.”
“Figs who?”
“Figs the doorbell, it’s broken!”
#45 Wait, fruit can do that?
Some fruits turn into other fruits.
For example, wait long enough and blueberries will turn into elder berries.
#46 Plot twist: fruit drama alert
Why did the apples get a divorce?
They weren’t a very good pear.
#47 Smooth and juicy, alright!
What does Matthew McConaughey say when he’s picking fruit?
“All ripe, all ripe, all ripe.”
#48 Fruit jokes never get old
What’s a gorilla’s favorite fruit?
Ape-ricots.
#49 Fruit jokes that actually land
What does a pear tree do before growing its fruit?
It pre-pears.
#50 When magic meets savage fruit shade
The magician says, “And now for my final trick! I will disappear!”
Then he grabs a pear from under the table and says, “You’re the worst fruit ever!”
#51 This Pun Cracked Me Up
“My friend told me, “Did you know trees drop edible stuff that’s not fruit?” I said, “That’s nuts!””
#52 I see what you did there
What kind of fruit will fix your sink?
A plum-ber.
#53 Ouch, That’s a Squeeze
What happens when you step on an orange?
You hurt its peelings.
#54 Fangs for the Vitamin C
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
Blood orange!
#55 I’m here for the dad jokes
What are twins favorite fruits?
Pears.
#56 I see what you did there
What do you call bad fruits and vegetables?
Gross-eries.
#57 Storytime: When ambition meets botany
“Driving past a corn field I planted and told my wife how great it feels to see the fruits of my labor. She paused for a few seconds before replying, “Those are vegetables, dummy.”
#58 Fruit certainly did not have a-peel
“I went on a couple of dates last week at the local supermarket. The grocer was outraged, and said I destroyed his fruits.”
#59 Okay, this one actually *popped*
“Last night I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of orange lemonade, it was a Fanta-sea!”
#60 Speedy and always pumped
Why are oranges the fastest fruit?
They never run out of juice!
#61 Peeling Back My Genius Plan
“I’ve got a great idea for an orange peeling machine, I hope it bears fruit!”
#62 Grape Expectations: Zero Complaints
Why are grapes always so unhappy?
They’ve got nothing to wine about!
#63 Pun Guaranteed to Make You Smile
What is a ghost’s favorite fruit?
Boo-berries.
#64 Plot twist: Half the horror
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm!
#65 Sweet job, bitter truth
Why is it so difficult to work at an apple pie factory?
They have such a high turnover rate!
#66 When Your Snack Has Crowded Seating
Why did the worm leave the apple?
Because Noah said to travel in pairs!
#67 Didn’t see that one coming
What do you get when you put an iPhone in a blender?
Apple juice!
#68 Peeling Out of Concentration
Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory?
He just couldn’t concentrate!
#69 Peach, You Didn’t!
What did the fruit say when he was surprised for his birthday?
“Wow… I’m s-peach-less!”
#70 Nap so sweet, it’s un-peel-ievable
Where do baby apes go to sleep?
In an apricot!
#71 Well, that escalated quickly
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Olive.”
“Olive who?”
“Olive you. Do you love me too?”
#72 Classic dad joke energy
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Bean.”
“Bean who?”
“Bean a while since I’ve seen you!”
#73 Love’s leftovers, but still sweet
Two fruit flies are out on a date.
One says to the other: “This date is amazing.”
The other replies: “Yeah, but it’s already half-eaten.”
#74 Peeling Out of Bad Texts
Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes…
You need to let that mango.
#75 Peeling back the appeal
Why are bananas such popular fruits?
Because they have a peel.
#76 Best Pun I Didn’t See Coming
“I like to advertise my homemade fruit preserves at clubs. Whenever a song comes on, I’ll hold up a jar and yell, “This is my jam!””
#77 Smoothest fruit exit ever
What kind of fruit do you give a guy when you want him to leave your home?
Mango.
#78 Plot twist: History’s actually fruitful
Which school subject yields the most fruit?
History — because it is full of dates.
#79 Instant vineyard vibes
What happens if you sit on a grape?
It gives a little wine!
#80 That joke? Corny but true
What made the corn stalk mad at the farmer?
He kept pulling its ears!
#81 Melon’s secret sunscreen
Why didn’t the fruit salad get sunburned?
It had plenty of melon in it.
#82 Plot twist snack
If an acrobat and a fruit crossed, what would you get?
An apple turnover!
#83 Color-coded snacking, nailed it
When do you go at red and stop at green?
When you’re eating a watermelon.
#84 This joke’s too juicy to ignore
Why do watermelons get upset so easily?
They’re melondramatic!
#85 When life gives you ride ideas
What car do fruits use to get around in?
A lemon.
#86 Peach, don’t do this again
“Two bullies at school keep putting fruits inside my son’s bag. I wish they’d leave him melon.”
#87 Berry pun? Nailed it.
How do you fix a broken berry?
With a strawberry patch!
#88 Berry bad traffic day
A lorry full of berries crashed on the motorway.
It’s created a huge jam!
#89 Corny but delicious
What’s a scarecrow’s favourite fruit?
Straw-berries!
#90 When Life Gives You Lemons, Meet Sourpuss
What do you call a cat who eats lemons?
A sourpuss!
#91 Fruit salad drama, avoided
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad!
#92 When Citrus Shade Gets Real
Lemons and limes fight all the time.
They are bitter rivals!
#93 When Life Gives You No Lemons
“I went to the shop today to get lemons and limes but they didn’t have any. It was a fruitless trip!”
#94 Zesty Joke, I Dig It
Why did the lemon cross the road?
It wanted to play squash!
#95 When life gives you lemons… go to the doc
Why did the lemon go to the doctor?
It was feeling sour!
#96 Wait, my ear’s a fruit now?
“I went to the doctor because I had a strawberry growing out of my ear. He gave me some cream for it!”
#97 Pun intended, and I’m here for it
How did the fruit basket get across the lake?
They took the straw-ferry!
#98 Vitamin Sea’s got nothing on this peel
Why do oranges wear sun cream?
Because their skin peels!
#99 When you say mango but mean “stop”
“A guy kept trying to sell me tropical fruit. I told him “mango!””
#100 Rolling into dessert like a pro
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down the hill!
#101 Talk about a fruity mood boost
Did you hear about the fruit that gave people a warm fuzzy feeling?
It was a real peach!
#102 Peachy Battles Only
What did the pitted fruit say when he got in a fight?
You want a peach of me?!
#103 Well, That’s One Way To Ketchup
How do you fix a broken tomato?
Use tomato paste!
#104 When fruit midlife crises hit hard
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the swimming pool?
It wanted to be a watermelon!
#105 Classic dad joke energy
“Knock knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Orange.”
“Orange who?”
“Orange you going to let me in?”
#106 This Pun’s Definitely Sweet
Why was the baby strawberry sad?
Because its parents were in a jam.
#107 Fruit you never saw coming
What is Romeo and Juliet’s least favorite fruit?
Can’t-elope.
#108 Grammar just took a vacation
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
#109 Classic dad joke energy
What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?
A ba-na-na-naaaa.
#110 Math jokes that actually make sense
“My favorite fruit is the pear. Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.”
#111 Guess love really does start rotten
Why was everyone shocked when the fruit fly’s girlfriend agreed to marry him?
Because the pair had only ever been on rotten dates.
#112 Mood swings in fruit form
When does an apple become grumpy?
When it’s a crab apple!
#113 Beach bum vibes, but make it tropical
Brown, hairy, and with sunglasses, what are you?
A coconut on vacation.
#114 Simple steps, zero effort
How do you make a lemon drop?
Just let it fall.
#115 Vitamin-see? More like vitamin-LOL
Why did the orange go blind?
He didn’t have enough vitamin-see!
#116 Sole Mates, Obviously
What do you call two banana peels?
A pair of slippers.
#117 This joke’s totally un-peel-ievable
Did you hear about the two fruits who weren’t allowed to get married?
Turns out they cantaloupe.
#118 When Life Gives You Jam
“Help! I’ve been canned with preserved fruits! I guess you could say I’m in a jam.”
#119 Plot twist: not a banana
What’s the similarity between an apple and an orange beside that both are fruits?
Both are not a banana.
#120 Plot twist: Fruit school is real
Where do baby citrus fruits go to learn?
A lemon tree school.
#121 Sour Talk Not Allowed
“I always get my fruits mixed up, but don’t point it out to anyone. I don’t like being in the lemonlight.”
#122 Citrus Got Schooled
Where do baby citrus fruits go to learn?
A lemon tree school!
#123 Citrus flex level: Expert
Orange is a great fruit.
It’s citrically acclaimed!
#124 Dinner’s about to get dramatic
Why did the apple pie cross the road?
It saw a fork up ahead!
#125 Peachy Science Vibes
What pie did the scientists use for their experiment?
A peach tree dish!
#126 Micro hatchet, major flex
“I always like bragging about the very small hatchet I own. I’ve done some research on it and as it turns out, it’s from the 1850’s and was used in some rich guy’s home to chop up citrus fruits for desserts and cakes etc. My wife thinks it’s boring, though. She says, “It’s just an antique lime axe.””
#127 This Pun Was Almost Ripe
“My door-to-door fruit delivery business failed terribly because of my horrible interpersonal skills. I was driving people bananas.”
#128 Math puns are the best kind of fruit
If Adam and Eve each took two bites out of the apple…
They would have four-bitten fruit.
#129 Banana Pun Level: Expert
When two bananas meet, what do they do?
A banana shake!
#130 Corn you believe it?
Can you guess what kind of vegetable is the most likely to like rock and roll?
An ear of corn!
#131 This joke just rolled in
Do you know what happens if you cross fruit and bowling?
A banana split.
#132 Smoothie’s worst enemy
When someone steals a fruit drink, what do you call them?
A smoothie criminal.
#133 Botany Mic Drop
How many cranberries grow on a bush?
All of them.
#134 This pun actually *sticks* around
What did the grape say to the peanut butter?
“Tis the season to be jelly!”
#135 Dark Side Snack Goals
What is Darth Vader’s favorite fruit?
Empire apples.
#136 I’d actually try that poultry fruit
What tree produces fruit that tastes like chicken?
Poul-tree.
#137 Bananas nailed this one
What is a banana’s favorite gymnastics move?
The splits!
#138 This joke’s ripe for the picking
Did you hear about the piece of fruit that left its wallet at a George Michael concert in Zurich?
It was a careless Swiss pear.
#139 Melon Collie Vibes Only
What’s half fruit, half dog and is rather sad?
A melon Collie.
#140 Botany’s plot twist
Scared of eating genetically modified fruit?
Grow a pear.
#141 Pumpkin Spice Gatekeeper
What did the sweet potato tell the pumpkin?
“I yam what I yam.”
#142 Pun intended and perfectly ripe
In the fruit salad world, what is called a messy salad?
A “fig-sty”!
#143 Who Knew Pineapples Went Boom?
During World War II, which fruit was most commonly used?
The pineapple grenade.
#144 Plot twist: Fruit gets sugared up before bed
What made the plum put sugar under its pillow?
So it could have sweet dreams.
#145 Wait, Is That a Lemon?
Green and square, what is it?
A lemon in disguise.
#146 Berry smooth moves
What did one raspberry say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“I love you berry much.”
#147 Banana squad goals
Why aren’t bananas ever lonely?
Because they come in bunches!
#148 Berry pun intended
What did a mum say when she drank her son’s strawberry shake?
“That was berry nice.”
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